Session Mistakes – Tawse and Belt Fetish

Rookie Mistakes in a BDSM Session

I made 2 mistakes in my last BDSM session. Both were totally my mistake and both speak to the deepest inner needs, my ability to communicate them and how I interact with the mistress.

Assumptions Do Not Make Good BDSM Sessions.

Both mistakes were because of my poor pre-session discussion with mistress.

Hand Strapping And Tawsing

Hand strapping and tawsing is a thing for me.

In every session at the start of the session I kneel in front of mistress then she uses a succession of straps and tawses on me.

Each feels different. Mistress progresses through the mild school strap, to the more stinging straps, to the more mild tawse and then the super painful XH Lochgelly replica.

All parts of the experience are special.

Ms Tawse

‘HANDS UP,’ she demands. Then up close and personal the tawse descends.

Mistress standing in front of me, telling me she is going to strap me, telling me she is going to taws me is special.

She tells me to hold out my hand then she applies the strap or tawse, slowly, carefully, with plenty of tease.  She is close, right in front of me and the imagery, the whole scene is hugely BDSM fetish erotic.

For me with the mistress wearing wide leather belts, this is a core part of every session.

AND I FORGOT to ask mistress for this in my last session. How stupid was that! It was my assumption.

A Mistress in Wide Leather Belts

At the start of session, mistress put on my wide belts. One went round her waist, the other like a bandolier over her shoulders then running down between her breasts to sit on a hip.

It is a great image, and she did it the same way on the previous session in November 2020.

Huge Brown Belt

Is there any such thing as a ‘too wide belt’?

My mistake was in not asking her to put the belt back on after she used it. She was wearing a leatheer corset which looked great, but the belts made it look even better to me.

In the previous session, she took a belt off, told me how hard she was going to use it, told me I was going to get a belting, the strapping of my life… then she did it. After that she folded the belt in half and put it onto a bench. After she’d used both, she was belt-less.

Exactly the same happened in this session. It was fantastic and I’ll abslutely be asking for that again, but the belt on the bench was a fail.

Pre-Session Discussion Fail

So you see I made two mistakes and both were in the pre-session discussion. With 16 years of experience, I fell for this rookie mistake. I assumed.

I didn’t put enough emphasis on the pre-session discussion.

When I enter the establishment I talk with mistress for a few minutes and we discuss what I want to happen. She inputs some ideas, clarifies some points, then we move to the dungeon and it happens.

For this session I’d been fixating on a cold caning and a cold prison strapping. Mistress on hearing this was quite rightly wanting to know more of what I’d been thinking so we discussed it more than anything else in the session. A cold caning really does require a lot of commitment to the whole BDSM thing and there is a lot of trust required.

So two assumptions were made; mistress assumed the hand strapping and tawsing at the start were to be skipped and I’d be straight into suspension for the cold caning and strapping. I assumed mistress would give me the hand strapping and tawsing I’d had with her in every other session.

The other mistake I made was in not asking mistress to put the belt she was using  back on after using it.

Why did I not ask this? She’d done it last session. I should have known she would repeat.

The Pre-Session Discussion Is Difficult

I like the mistress. She gives me such excellent strappings, tawsings and canings. And doesn’t that sound strange!

Mistress works hard, she takes the session seriously and she makes every effort to make it special. She makes me feel there is something of a bond between us, a connection. Having that feeling is a delight.

But even with that connection and even after 16 years of having regular sessions I find the pre-session discussion difficult.

Part of it is my decades of secrecy asserting itself. I am so used to keeping this whole thing secret, I struggle to tell anyone about it.

It is also because I don’t want to be too specific, taking away spontaneity which really can be super special.

I want the session to be spontaneous, yet I want specific things. Clearly this poses a problem. Mistress is not a mind reader, much as I wish it.

I feel that in making too many suggestions to mistress, I don’t want to disrespecting or be criticising her. If I tell her something she can do better, I don’t want her to think she had made a huge mistake in a previous session.

Rules For A Great BDSM Session

A well equipped BDSM dungeon offers so many options for your session.

Mistress will also have ideas and options. She will be experienced and have personal preferences.

But it is your session.

But how do you get the best possible session?

The BDSM Dungeon

So many options!

In writing this, I am saying to myself what I should be doing, not necessarily what I have done in the past. But it is based on years of experience and introspection.

Rule-1Plan your session. Break it up into just a few parts. Keep it simple! I have a “start”, “middle split in two” then an “end part.”

Rule-2keep it brief yet succinct. Give mistress an outline and highlights for each part of the session. You must say what you want, and what you don’t want.

Rule-3assume nothing. Even if it has happened in every previous session, and you want it, request it. If you don’t ask it is likely you won’t receive it.

Rule-4 – mistress is not a mind reader. Plan your session. Go back to Rule-1.

Have a great session!

Session Booked for 25th March 2021

All day I was thinking of making the call. As the day wore on I put my hand out a few times to make the call, then I pulled it back. Yes, I wimped out.

It was just so deeply…what?…scary?… Exciting?… Challenging?… Intimate?

I think it was all of the above. And more. It does bring that Silent Quiver in me.

Making The Decision

I’d been thinking of having another session for at least the last month. All that time it has been growing within me, pulling me forward.

I’ve felt my state of mind being fragile, liable to snap at people, tense and getting tension headaches. That is not me. Something was wroing and it was noticed.

Then it all fell into place.

This morning as I was talking to my wife, I told her how I feel. She nodded and commented that she’d seen the way I’ve been, then she actually suggested I have a session. She didn’t want to know the details, just that if I need it, then I should have it.

Then as I was closing the shop, after all the staff had left, I did it. I touched the phone then made the call. I booked my next BDSM session.

The Excitement

Have you ever had that feeling of excitement when you make a phone call that almost makes you quiver when you dial the numbers. Then when it rings you worry, will it be answered or not? Then you almost hope it won’t be answered because that will be a moment of truth when you have to cross a line, admit something, do something?

Then when it answers it is exciting. Thrilling almost.

That’s how I felt when it was answered.

So then it progressed the same as the many dozens of other such calls has; the reception person asked about the type of session, who I was wanting to book a session with, when, and the duration. She asked if I’d seen that mistress before then when it was all setup she asked me to confirm on the day. All good.

After this I sent a short email to the mistress. I am sure she has many other calls on her time so I don’t want to place a burden on her. Time is money after all and she has a life. I told her when I’d booked and said I hoped all was going well in her life.

I’ve also got a cunning plan to have a night out after the session, visit a quiet secluded cafe, have a dinner and document the session.

Comparing The Before To The After

There was a very big difference to how I felt before I booked the session, to how I felt afterwards. It was like a switch had been flicked inside me.

Previous to the phone call I’d been consumed with the thought of booking the session. I needed it, I had all the contradictory feelings of wanting it, but because it is so deeply personal to me, it felt such an intimate thing that making the call felt difficult.

Then after the call I felt relieved, relaxed and happy. I’d done something that I know I needed.

That then leaves what I want to happen in the session. I’ve mentioned some ideas in previous posts which I will think about over the coming few days.

I just need to make my mind up what I’ll be asking for in the session. The last one had been spectacularly good, the mistress really was excellent and based on over 15 years of experience, that is a high recommendation. I’d like that again, but a cold caning and prison strapping are calling me as well. Decisions, decisions!

So, only 2 sleeps to my next session!

Stay tuned for the write-up.

Next BDSM Session Angst

It's Been Far Too Long

Soon after my last session I wanted another.

Then after 2 months I was deeply wanting my next session.

Now as the weeks crawled past that desire rises and falls but generally rises more than it falls. The allure of the leather mistress putting me in bondage and giving me corporal punishment in the BDSM dungeon only increases with time.

It doesn’t matter how severe the corporal is, how marked up I am, or how long the bruises take to go away, I want it again. And I want more.

One thing that consumes me is that the last session was so good, and how could I make the next session even better.

It feels silly saying that as you can only be tied up and given heavy corporal so many ways. But options do exist!

The Allure Of The New

Since I’ve been having similar sessions for 15+ years, finding points of difference, finding elements to make a session unique is not easy.

But still the idea of new things brings its own special excitement.

A year or so ago I had a training session with an apprentice to show her amd give her a chance to apply heavy corporal and that was sort of OK. It wasn’t as heavy as I wanted and in interacting with the apprentice it pulled me back from sub-space but it was overall a good once-off type of session. In fact, interacting with someone else in the session felt very good at an acceptance level, that I could be there and doing that and yet it was all fine and they wanted to make sure it was good for me. That’s a privilege I don’t take lightly.

But now I’m wanting another session. More and more.

Something Special For Mistress

On a whim, and because she really is very lovely, I had a strap custom made as a present for the mistress I see.

It is a copy of the off-billet strap I’ve had for a few years. I phoned around and could not find a leather one anywhere so I had to get it made by copying mine. In these modern times nylon has become much more the norm for this piece of saddlery. Where is the kink, the fetish in nylon? Nope, none in there at all!

The off-billet strap is two inches across and eighteen inches long when folded over (so it is three feet long) and is made of very heavy leather. Every mistress who has used it has commented at what a lovely piece of leather it is. It almost aches to be picked up and run through the hands. And for the leather lover, its scent is rather nice.

The off-billet strap is one of the more painful implements I have and it does work so very well for corporal. In fact, when given hard the difference from the prison strap is not that great.

Some time ago I had one of these made for a previous mistress who has since left the scene. I asked her if she’d had a chance to use it, some sessions later. She said she had and her client had squealed, and she liked that. She said it with a smile and gleaming eyes.

She was a tall powerful mistress, somewhat Amazonian and did love the whole corporal thing. Hence my present of this strap. She was the mistress who after my first session with her had some muscle pain the next day, so she got a personal trainer at the gym to target those muscles for development.

The image of her in a tight leather catsuit pulled down to the waist, wearing a black bra and using that off-billet strap is not something I’ll forget. That thought lingers….

The Contradiction Flares

Looking at it, holding that strap, I feel like suggesting it can be used in two ways; doubled over as is, or remove the retaining thong and use it ‘singled’ like the end of a belt to make it less thuddy and more stinging.

The leather is so very thick, it would be effective when used as a single length, more so than for most belts. It could be wrapped round the fist, again like a belt to get the length just right, for the end to be used for a strapping.

Doesn’t that sound strange? I’m suggesting the best way to be punished, to be strapped.

I had something quite severe made as a gift for a dominatrix to use to beat me with, and have thought about how it can best be used and the types of pain it will bring. But it’s true. It is a lovely piece of leather I hope will be appreciated.

And this is the contradiction.

For me the association of pain with BDSM, about the session and the dominatrix is not as per most people’s perceptions. For me it is a small part. I don’t feel shame, or anxiety, or revulsion or regret. It is just something to be dealt with in the total context of the session.

But I feel the utter strangeness of it all.

The more I think about the pain of corporal punishment the less certain I am about what it is that draws me back.

It is pretty much the ultimate contradiction for people to try to understand.

Taking Corporal Further

Another option I find hard to resist is asking for a cold caning and or a cold prison strapping. Again and a first with this mistress. I think she would do it very well and I seem to remember she mentioned it once.

Should I have both the cold caning and the prison strapping? Or just one of them?

And if both, which one to have first? And since Mistress has her own Canadian Prison Strap, and I have one, should she use both, and in what order? Should she maybe give me six of the very best of the cane, then six of the best with one prison strap, then the same again with other? Then repeat? That has an appeal. It has a recurring appeal.

Then after this, what? Maybe revert to the traditional belting and strapping we have? That sounds about right.

Oh. For those not in the know, a ‘cold’ type corporal punishment session is when corporal punishment of the more severe type happens first, before a warm up with less severe implements.

The effect of this is that it’s felt deeper without the warm, up. It cuts deeper. It is more punishing.

A warm up heats the skin so it can accept more discipline and also desensitizes the skin as well so heavy discipline after is more easily accepted.

The warm up gets you used to the corporal gradually.

So in the absence of a warm up a ‘cold’ type session is much more severe, coming close to the even more severe ‘Judicial’ type of corporal punishment which has its own (scary) appeal to me.

My Last Cold Prison Strapping and Caning

Cold prison strapping and caning sessions are super challenging.

I know, I remember them well.

Do I ever. They were a few years prior from an energetic mistress so I remember it rather well.

The session started off with my wrists strapped into leather cuffs, attached to a suspension bar so I was standing tall and I was gagged. My legs had plenty of straps wrapping them in bondage so I couldn’t move them.

I was an excellent target. I had no choice in the matter. It was happening.

Getting a caning and a strapping like this, in bondage and particularly with the legs bound  means you can’t move. If the legs aren’t bound then the natural tendancy is to lift then, to shift, to dance and kick from side to side as the pain kicks in. I find having them bound adds nicely to the whole experience.

Bondage adds a kind of submission to the whole experience. The more the better. It makes me accept it better. It pushes me deeper.

Then the mistress took up the Canadian Prison Strap, stood behind and to one side of me holding it between her hands ready to use. She was ready. It was going to happen. I can promise that the sight of a leather dominatrix with a huge prison strap in her hands, with me presented in bondage and gagged, is a very special experience.

Just looking at the tableau in the mirror says it all. My goodness, I wish I had a photo!

Oh dear. Writing that and thinking about it makes it all the more desirable.

Then it happens.

When the strapping starts, or the caning, the first stroke hits like lightning. The bum is totally fresh, white and unblemished, not yet christened by any leather. The first pain is the greatest. It is new and consuming.

My eyes close to slits, I stand on tip toe, I tense up, and my head goes back, the gag fills my mouth and I feel its presence, silencing the shout.

I remember reading erotic fiction that said the un-caned bottom was a clean parchment for the mistress to make her mark on.

Anyway, that first stroke feeling is a mix between deep burn and a crashing stinging thud against the butt. The strength of the impact pushes me forward, pulling me forcibly out of the here and now and fixating me on the pain and the experience.

Then the delay is spell binding. I’m trying to surmount the sting, trying to accept and get on top of it, then the corporal-ballet behind me repeats as the next stroke cracks down and so it follows. Inexorably, the strokes follow one another, sending me deeper into sub space, filling me, removing me from the here and how.

Being able to take this level of heavy corporal is both scary and exciting in all the typically contradictory ways.

Being made to take it is even more of the same.

I remember one German mistress I had taking significant delight in giving me a cold prison strapping. She didn’t mind that at all. I don’t think it was from a pure sadism or an anger perspective, I think she just enjoyed the activity and doing it with someone who was accepting and embracing.

The whole corporal punishment thing is a shared activity, the mistress and her client together making it work. Yes it seems strange but at the end of the day it is something that is wanted at so many different levels.

A Session With A Visitor

I’m giving this some thought. I suspect I have a touch of an exhibitionist streak.

The training session I had with an apprentice mistress was mildly successful, but not great. I enjoyed it, it was new and different and those things are always good.

But I’m now thinking about if I should, or can, invite a new apprentice into the session to view heavy corporal as I take it. It is not a training session, it is a demonstration session. She can participate if she wants to, or not.

That has some appeal.

The One Decision That Matters

When will my next session be? That is the real question.

I want it soon. I want it now. I want it sooner than now.

So many decisions!

Since my last session blog post was so successful, I’ll document my next also. From the above, I’ll have a lot to write about.

Play safe, play happy, play hard.

Dealing With Corporal Punishment

Corporal Punishment In BDSM Sessions

To be tied up and beaten by a dominatrix is one of life’s more out-there experiences.

Probably more than anything else, corporal punishment is the least understood by those not into BDSM.

The association of corporal punishment with pain is so strong, and the desire to not have pain is ingrained so deeply that people struggle to get past it.

Corporal punishment and pain are one dimension of the dynamic. They are an aspect but not the totality.

People say ‘but doesn’t it hurt? Why do you want to be hit or whipped? What do you get out ot it? I can’t understand it.

In answer, yes it hurts but I deal with it. It helps transport me, shift me into another reality, gives me a relief like nothing else. I get such vast relief, relaxation, peace, happiness from heavy corporal punishment.

I struggle to understand it at times also, but it is part of me. I need it. It just is.

What are we talking about here?

We are talking about hitting, striking, physcially using an implement on another person to cause them pain.

The words say it all to those not into BDSM. It is physical punishment. For them it stops there, for people like myself it is merely the first step.

As in all BDSM it is, and must happen between consenting adults. Limits, techniques and safety issues should be discussed before corporal punishment is engaged in.

For my sessions, this happens in a pre-session discussion with a professional mistress, a dominatrix, that takes a few minutes. It is the reason I use a professional  dominatrix as there are significant safety issues.

The implements that can be used also give their names to the type of punishment.

For example, a belt is used for a belting, a cane for a caning, a strap for a strapping. Simple enough.

Light, medium and heavy are often used to describe intensity. They mean pretty much what they sound like.

To expand a little, light corporal might redden an area for a short while and rarely leave marks. Alternatively heavy corporal would be expected to leave a mark, a welt and a bruise that goes from purple to black then yellow, for maybe a few days to over a week.

The types of implements change the experience significantly. In general, the more narrow the implement, the more it stings, leaves a longer lasting welt and feels more like it is cutting, burning. An example is the cane and some tawse.

A broader implement like a two inch belt will feel more ‘slappy’ and less deep-cutting.

The thickness of the implement also changes the effect. A two inch wide thinner belt will have more sting while a thicker belt of the same width (but thicker) will feel to have a lot more ‘thud.’

How Is It Done in a BDSM Session?

The short answer is that corporal punishment is given by consenting parties in a way that suits them. There is a discussion about what is going to happen, then it happens.

A sex spanking is similar in concept. Someone says they would like a spanking before sex then it is given and the sex benefits.

For corporal punishment in a dungeon, there are plenty of options. My own experiences are for Mistress to use implements on me when I’m standing lifted up by a winch. Or I might be bent over or laying on top of a punishment bench tied down to it.

A caning can be given when bent over in a classic school pose, or kneeling on a bench, or restrained over a whipping horse.

Almost unique in corporal punishment scenarios is hand strapping and tawsing. The Mistress stands in front then uses a leather strap or tawse to beat the palms of the slave. It is challenging in having to face the punisher, to watch the strap be raised prior to it lashing down and so to control the need to move the hand away. There is also an element of embarrassment to it. As you face the mistress, you show the effect, you show the pain and then the fear when the next stroke is about to be delivered.

Pain Play -vs- Corporal Punishment

Sometimes calling it “corporal Punishment” just feels so wrong. And yet that is what it is.

To any casual observer watching a BDSM Corporal session it could be nothing else. To the participants it can be just about the level of pain that is being delivered and the desired effect.

In fact, so say “punishment” makes me question if I feel the need to be punished for someting? Do I need to atone? Have I been bad in some way that merits heavy corporal?

The answer to all the above is no. I really don’t feel the need for punishment. There are so many other factors at play.

I remember being asked by a mistress something like, “Was the amount of pain about right?” which at the time seemed strange but she was perceptive. It was all about being transported, and for me the pain was the means.

So, Why is it done in a BDSM Session?

There is only one reason for receiving corporal punishment; it is needed.

It may not be wanted, but it may be something that is so deeply needed that it is inescapable even though it may feel illogical and strange.

Caveat; these notes are from my experiences, and also from my limited research. Rudely I will say that I am focused on me and while I’m mildly interested in other peoples experience I don’t pursue them greatly.

These notes will probably be incomplete and you may want to argue. Great. I can’t claim to have all the knowledge. Use the contact form if you want to discuss.

So, why would you put yourself through what can only be described as a punishment – because that is what it’s called?

There are many reasons – and don’t expect there to be just one that may apply to you. Or to me. We are allowed to have more than one reason, surely.

It is needed. This feels like a catch-all and a bit of a cop-out but I feel this within myself. I just need it. I can’t pin it down precisely, I can make all sorts of excuses and suggestions -but- at the end of the day, I need it. Simple.

The role play – the private theater. It draws me in, I love it, the visual of it all and yet it perplexes me. I’m called. I can’t resist. There are contradictions in this but my need for it trumps all.

This is strong for me. The leather clad dominatrix makes me hold my hand out then gives me a strapping. She tells me how I deserve a belting and then a caning for misbehaving. This gets into my mind and regresses me.

So that speaks to a mental out of body experience, an easape from the real world and into a place where my fetish and kinks rule.

Relinquish control. This is also a super strong incentive and something I do feel. To give control to someone else, to do as you are told releases you from having to be in charge. It gives you a rest, a respite from being responsible. If you have a high power job and under constant stress, not able to get relief from that stress, giving control to another is a huge thing. If at the same time you are punished, that drags you away from reality even more and fills you full of the peace from submission.

In some ways, this is just like a holiday. On holiday you are not responsible for anything or anyone – other than have a good time. Being dragged away from reality by heavy corporal punishment can feel just the same to me

A means to escape. This is a lot like the previous, Relinquish Control.

The pain from the punishment can be so strong that nothing else exists. You cannot be thinking about anything else, anyone else, anywhere else. It is all consuming. As the punishment proceeds you are transported out of this world, your old worries and cares left behind.

I have said ‘you can’t think of anything else when you are getting a hard caning’ and it is absolutely true.

And as for hand tawsing, that really focuses the mind as you watch Mistress raise the tawse over a shoulder then bring it down to make the palm and fingers explode in sting. To absorb that pain, to takle it in, to watch the Mistress really is a form of escape for me.

Eroticism & fetish. There is a strong element of this in my sessions. I adore the Mistress to be in fetish as she delivers heavy corporal. The whole thing seems to work so well together.

A spanking brings heat to the butt and it can absolutely excite. This is a common pre sex passtime. The warmth in the butt gets in, deeply, and becomes erotic. Also, to be bent over someone’s knees as they heat your butt, to know they care enough to spank you and then know there is sex to follow is delicious.

Re-connecting, reliving a previous experience. This is possibly common. Mistresses have told me of clients who visit to re-live their time of receiving corporal punishment at school or in other settings. They find it takes them back in time, brings them a form of security and relief from the here and now.

Just for the pain. For me the pain is a small thing. It is the transport, the means to be sent into another mind space. To focus on the pain is wrong for me.

I can however absolutely understand if pain is your thing – as corporal punishment can certainly deliver that.

There is of course the contradiction here for the person not into the whole scene. For them it is all about pain. For me it is just one aspect.

To focus the mind. This is a sort of a repeat. When under corporal punishment there is nothing else, no where else in your mind. You wait, you watch, you see the punishment being delivered then the shock of it makes you focus on the moment.

Nothing else matters. You are there and there only, your mind is empty of everything but the moment. That focuses the mind admirably well.

A need to atone. I don’t feel this myself – but I can well understand. I have heard of cases where it happend. There can be an internal dialog happening ‘I shouldn’t have done that, I need to be punished.’

If this becomes strong, it can be a sticking point in letting go of something. The pain, the endorphins, the whole experience leaves these thoughts behind.

Depression and other mental issues. There have been studies and even a clinical practice devoted to delivering corporal punishmenht to aid recovery from mental issues such as depression and addiction.

For myself I have suffered depression and I know that after corporal punishment I feel better. I have been taken away from that destructive mentality for a time, I have become someone else who is not depressed. I feel however (as a lay person) that the benefit may be transitory. You would be better off treating the cause of the depression professionally.

How Does a Corporal Session Proceed?

Again – this is totally up to the participants. There are typical scenarios and there are some other options. Here is my experience.

At first there is the pre-session discussion where the mistress and the client discuss what is to happen.

Typically in a corporal session lighter impements are used first, usually with lighter strokes. This warms up the skin and makes the body accept punishment more easily. This is called the warm up and is probably the most common thing in these kinds of sessions.

The warmup can be challenging. It can lift me onto my toes with firmer strokes and make me wonder if I’ve made a mistake, and ask myself how can I take this?

For me the warmup is with belts delivered probably at a light to medium intensity. I have a few the mistress uses and I find this delicious. Challenging, but delicious.

For hand strapping a lighter more supple strap is used.

As the session proceeds the force implements may change and the force used may increase till it is significant. For example, a belt can be made to really crack down hard in mid-session and the sensation can be quite sharp. Then a heavy warse is used to the butt, hard, and that really stings.

A common technique used to prolong the corporal is to give a lighter implement, for example a wider belt, then give a more harsh implement such as a prison strap, then a lighter implement again in turn. This lets the body recover and take more.

At the end of the session, the most harsh implments are usually used. This is often the cane. The cane when delivered hard really gets in, it overwhelmes any previous discipline and you feel it deeply. Given hard it feels like it cuts and sometimes I have had split skin and a little blood. But over all, a sound caning at the end really does finish a session off well.

I find that a session without a caning at the end is just not right – it has not finished properly even if the previous corporal has totally drained and defeated me.

Cold caning and cold prison strapping I have found to be the ultimate challenge. These are given at the start of the session, hard, and without any prior warmup. Because of this absence of warmup the cane and prison strap really do challenge.

Normally at the end of session the prison strap and cane feel painful. The prison strap opens up a band of hot sting and is painful. The cane has a narrow band of pain and sting that cuts deeper.

A cold caning and prison strapping to the butt makes it feel like it’s exploding, the head comes back, the eyes go back, the mouth opens in an “OOHH” and the body tenses as the pain overwhelmes.

Is It Hard-core? How Full on?

I was asked once if the whole corporal punishment thing is just play acting?

The answer is of course it can be whatever you want.

It is totally up to you and the mistress. And this is all part of the reason for choosing a professional wisely.

It can be total play acting with the most mild of sensation that doesn’t leave a mark but titillates.

Likewise it can be totally play acting and really quite severe leaving welts for at least a week, bleeding marks covering an area, black and purple bruising that looks and is intense.

Again – the severity of the corporal punishment is agreed upon before the session starts. It can be as little or as much as you want. You can change during the session using gestures and the mistress can gauge your reaction and cater to suit your instructions.

One of the more hard-core forms I find is the ‘cold caning’ and ‘cold prison strapping’ type session. This is where an implement is used really quite hard at the start of a session and it hurts a whole lot more that way. When there is a warm up with lighter implements over a period of time it is easier to take a harder punishment later.

To put it into context, a heavy session leaves my butt deeply welted, sometimes bleeding, and the bruises and welts can take a week to heal.

Masochism and Corporal Punishment

These seem so obviously linked that it sounds impossible to be not labelled as a masochist if corporal punishment happens in a session.

Yet I feel a significant distinction.

I only seek corporal in a session. Nowhere else. I loathe pain in so many scenarios just the same as most people. But put me in a dungeon with a leather clad dominatrix and it all changed.

So maybe it should be called  contextual masochism.

I hate labels. They are so one dimensional.

How Often Do You Get Corporal?

For me, once a month is about right and that is for reasonably heavy corporal punishment.

I recently went 13 months as a result of some issues, and I found that too long. Much too long. I found myself distracted by the need for more.

What Is The Mistress/Slave Interaction Like?

There should be only one answer to this – it is whatever you want.

A good BDSM mistress will craft a session to suit you based on the pre-session discussion. Pure and simple. If you want “this” then you will probaly get it, and same if you want “that” – whatever it is, you need to talk it through and come to an agreement.

If you want specifics then there are a plenty of options. It is up to you! Here are just a few….

A strict and stern dominatrix punishing a slave. I’ve had many of these.

The silent treatment, just being punished.

A telling off, ‘you need a good belting for what you’ve done‘ and then delivering. A favorite!

I’m going to enjoy strapping/caning/tawsing you with this’ then the implement is fetched, shown teased with and then used. Another absolute favorite.

A school mistress can discipline an unruly student.

A mom can punish a naughty son or daughter.

A strict governess can punish the wayward student.

— and so the list goes on —

How Will The Mistress sound? Bzzt, sorry, you need to read the above! Ask, discuss, and mistress will work with you on this to get what you want.

Are Mistresses/ Dominatrixes Sadists?

Strangely enough, I don’t know!

Some love delivering corporal punishment and often the cane is their preferred weapon of choice. This then feels like the answer is ‘yes’ – but I have reservations.

In my 5 years+ of having sessions I’ve not felt that mistresses are sadists.

I think it is much more accurate to say they are professionals, catering the session to suit the client.

Has a Mistress Ever Gone Too Far?

This is a defintion and labelling thing. For me the answer is ‘No’ as I like heavy corporal and going too far with that is almost by definition impossible.

But that is a poor answer.

The real answer is that a good mistress will know if the intensity is getting too much. Even when gagged, the way corporal punishment is felt will be obvious and the mistress will adjust to suit the slave.

Also, for a first session is can be really difficult for a mistress to know what is truly wanted. Sure the pre-session discussion should have specifics and some guidelines but as the reality of the session happens this can be totally wrong or different.

How can a newbie know what heavy corpooral is like? Likewise can a newbie wanting light corporal suddenly find it is not enough?

In my first session I found I needed more than the mistress was giving. I had to ask her to give me another caning as I felt it was not enough. I just loved it, it felt so right. I think the mistress was a little reluctant as I’d marked up so badly – after all it was my first ever session.

In the sessions I now have, the mistress looks at my reaction. When she uses the prison strap, for example, if I don’t lift onto my toes, shake and jump from the stroke, she knows to go harder because mistress knows me. And if that doesn’t make me react she gives them quicker too.

So how you react in a session is a signal to mistress. She will be watching. When I push my butt out to her, to the implement, she knows I’m inviting more, and harder. When I lift onto my toes and retreat from her, shake, my head goes back, she knows she got in and will give me just a few more to make it sink in as she knows I need that.

So of course all that is totally subjective. It works for me. If you have a session with corporal punishment the pre-session discussion is critical.

Endure, Accept, Challenge

These are terms that come to mind in my corporal sessions.

The mistress delivers corporal punishment and I feel I need to endure it.

Then in enduring that punishment, that pain, I accept it. I take it in. It suffuses, transports, shifts my perceptions. The pain I endure lifts me out of the here and now.

Accepting the pain makes it almost irrelevant. It just is. It doesn’t have stigma or anything other than the experience.

I’m getting tired ot talking about pain all the time. It feels like a focus, like the be-all and end-all of the session. The reality for me is that it is nothing, and all, and a transport and a mechanism. It is contradictory and difficult. It is annoying to try to define. Sitting here, now, I don’t feel any pain – what was it like? Did it really do that? Am I sure?

The challenge for me is then to endure and accept despite the actual pain. I feel that challenge. I don’t want to give in. I don’t want to show a reaction. How much can mistress give before she defeats me? How much before I show a reaction?

The challenge for mistress is to know how much to give, which implement to use and when. She delivers, she watches, she uses her knowledge of the client to deliver more or less.

I know I challenge mistress. I try to endure, to not show the effect of something till it gets through to me. She gives me a stroke of the prison strap, it stings and burns, but not too much so I push my butt back to her, I invite more and harder. Then she delivers a harder stroke and many more in a short time. Then the rapidly increasing pain breaks down my barriers. At that point I am consumed.

Does The Body Get Used To It?

There are 2 ways this question applies, and both are ‘Yes’

Firstly – in a session the lighter strokes of the warm up are felt quite deeply. They sting, they thud, they lift me onto my toes and I find them challenging.

As the warm up proceeds, as the session proceeds, the strokes are felt less.

So as the session proceeds, other implements are used and the force is increased to make me continue to feel it, to react.

Also as you have more sessions the body reacts differently. In my first session I marked up dramatically from a light to medium session. The marks were huge. More recent sessions have had fewer marks.

Over the years I feel I have built up a resistance such that mistress needs to apply with a lot more force to get the same reaction.

Where To Now?

I have no idea other than I do know I will have more sessions. I feel myself changing.

I’m wanting to try different things in a session. New things.

I recently had a training session with an apprentice as well as my regular mistress. Mistress taught her to use my implements on me, demonstrated giving corporal punishment. It was new, it was different, it was kind of ok.

I usually have the strict and stern mistress just punishing a slave.She collects an implment, uses it, then moved onto the next. All very simple and straight forward.

For my last session mistress told me I needed a belting, a strapping, a hand tawsing then she collected the implement, showed me then used it. She took her time with the hand strapping, lifting and flopping the tawse onto my palms so I felt the leather as I watched mistress raise and lower it. It was extraordinarily delicious. She repeated time and again, prolonging the experience, then she gave me a hard stroke. That was brilliant!

It has been a few years since my last, I’m feeling like a cold prison strapping then a cold hard caning to start my next sesison off with.

Lets see if mistress has found this blog!

Pain In BDSM 2

My BDSM session focuses on Corporal Punishment and Bondage

The purpose of this post is to give a perspective of pain in a BDSM session, the why and the how of it. I know that use of pain in BDSM is something people struggle to  understand. Here is my perspective.

Just so you understand, to set the scene, I had a BDSM session 7 days ago. It featured me being tied up with leather straps (bondage) and heavy corporal punishment from a leather clad dominatrix. She used belts, straps, tawse, canes and a prison strap on me. And I loved it.

These implements were all used on my butt hard enough to leave welts for a few days. My hands were strapped and tawsed hard enough to leave them bruised and tingling for three days.

This kind and level of corporal punishment I would  have called as a ‘medium’ intensity session, maybe a fraction more but not much more.

In previous sessions I’ve been strapped and caned so hard my butt has become leathery and had blood on it from a number of places, the bruising showing up purple and black for nearly a week

For this session I asked the mistress for a ‘medium but as she wishes’ as I’d not had a session for 13 months and hence felt my tolerance and the ability to endure corporal punishment would be down, reduced.

Just so as you know, I wanted this, and I really really enjoyed it both as it happened and later when I felt the effects.

Also, so there is no misunderstanding and to put context into it, I don’t have an orgasm in the session, I don’t have sex in the session nor given any intimate touching or hand relief etc. I get corporal and bondage – pure and simple.

Google Pain and BDSM

If you do an internet search you can pretty much find any reason to have or not have anything in your life. The total spectrum of human interaction and possible end results is damn near infinite. It becomes problematic to find something that is definitive that targets what you are really wanting to know.

Also, the intelligence and the wisdom of the people giving the information may not be helpful. Do they truly understand what they are talking about, or is their study based on academic and scientific grounds with little feeling for the topic?

Getting the right answer can be totally subjective to all parties; the writer and the reader. And thus it is for me.

In my experience I feel many articles miss the point with pain and BDSM more often than not. Sometimes they miss a central and blindingly simple explanation for things.

For Me...

For me, pain in a BDSM session is an experience, a feeling not stigmafied or rejected because it is pain. It is a transport mechanism, it promotes a feeling of relief, it is nothing and everyting. It is contradictory and perplexing to many, to me it just is.

There is a difference in what I present here to many other writings on the internet – I offer information from the first person perspective.

When I’m questioned by my wife as to how I can accept what I do, I think the worst thing about pain in BDSM is my inability to bring understanding. It is totally foreign to others. Trying to explain it is so damn difficult.

I get the question, “but it hurts. How can you want that?”

I give the answer “It’ contexual, part of the total experience of the session, it captures and transports.”

And so it is with searching for ‘bdsm pain’ and various combinations. Expect to be confused.

I Never Saw Myself as a Masochist

Even now, writing that, I find it difficult to identify as being a masochist.

I don’t like pain outside of a BDSM session. A splinter, a stubbed toe, and the list gos on for painful thing I hate.

But in a BDSM session I ask for heavy corporal punishment and expect to be pushed to my limit for accepting something that is inherently painful. I pay good money for it. I keep coming back. I ask the mistress to push me.  A caning hurts. The tawse across the palms is excruciating.

So by defninition I must be a masochist. Strangely enough I struggle with that.

Is It The Endorphin Rush?

There may well be an element of this in the experience.

But I believe saying it’s endorphins is a cop-out if I said it applied to me.

It’s an easy way to justify something, to make people reach some kind of understanding even thought it is probably not correct. It is the easy out.

The more I think about it, the less this suits me. I feel the pain, it gets in, it is difficult to accept. I don’t feel a high from it, I don’t get a massive erection or have some kind of frisson of delight with a particularly painful cane or strap or tawse stroke.

They all hurt. They hurt a lot. I don’t feel a pleasure from it.

I push my butt out for more, to invite more down. I ask for the tawse across the palms knowing how devastating it will be. I feel embarrassment when my face screws up after the tawse lashes down, then I life my hands up for more, dreading it, yet needing it, watching mistress as she puts the tawse up ready for the next stroke.

Then when it is delivered, I feel the pain, I want it to stop, yet I want more of it. I feel challenge as it is happening, relief when it stops, then dissappointment when it is over.

More than anything, I feel the challenge to accept the pain. I feel the need to feel the pain, to really be engrossed in it. I feel relief from the pain, the pain sending me elsewhere and almost out of body.

The pain in bondage while gagged, delivered by a dominatrix in the dungeon is so vastly different to any other kind of pain I have received. It just feels different.

The pain makes me feel, the pain sends me elsewhere and nowhere.

As I said to my wife, it is contextual – in the BDSM session it just works.

We are conditioned to shun pain

All our lives we know pain tells us something is going wrong. We’ve stubbed a toe, broken a bone, have some issue etc.

And that is good. Without pain telling us there is a problem we might die from simple things that should have been treated. We know that ignoring pain is very bad for all the same reasons.

Cutting To The Chase

I get pain in my BDSM sessions and it works for me. Simple. Take that in. It works for me.

Have I explained it properly? Do you understand? Does it make sense? Does it need to make sense?

My Real Life BDSM session

Real Life BDSM Session - Nov 2020

This was to be my first BDSM session in 13 months making it a little more scary-exciting for me than usual.

My sessions feature bondage and heavy corporal punishment from a leather clad strict and stern dominatrix, a professional mistress, so they can be challenging to say the least. My need is to be pushed, extended, to make the experience send me out of body into a different place, to leave the real world behind.

After such a long time away I was worried how my tolerance to corporal punishment would be and also slightly worried about the whole thing. Was I going to regret it, finding it was not for me any more? Had the time away meant I’d drifted away from the BDSM needs I’d felt so strongly previously?

The short answer is that the session was a total success, Mistress was a delight making the whole dungeon-bondage-corporal experience exactly what I wanted. It was also what I needed, with the difference between wants and needs talking to my hidden secret inner self.

This Is MY Real Life BDSM Session

As per usual the pre session discussion I found difficult to expose what I’d been thinking about for the session but Mistress made it easy for me and said I was not alone in that. These kinds of interactions are huge for me, working at the acceptance level of my self-stigma for having this need.

Then when we enter the dungeon I have all the same feelings of excitement to be there, of expansion-relief and coming home. I feel like ‘I have arrived’ and now it’s happening at long last.

There is no ambiguity in the dungeon, it exists for one reason, the reason I am there. It offers a promise that I know will so soon be delivered and that feels so good.

The session itself proceeds extremely well with all the feelings of dread, excitement, surprise, out of body floating and cathartic relief. All my fetish and kink buttons are pushed and pushed hard with Mistress working the moment to full effect.

Mistress is empathetic, sensible, careful and fun, strict and stern yet engaging. Her sessions have a light hearted aspect yet at the same time can be heavy and severe making them a total success, all created and catering for me, my own private theater.

As is typical of just about all my sessions I experience the usual plurality of contradictory feelings. My leather fetish and feelings for belting and strapping compete with the need to endure the corporal punishment Mistress gives. I feel the disjoint between my inner desires, my deep fetishes competing with the effects of it and the logic of what is happening. I want it to be over, to have accepted it yet at the same time I want more. I need more. It calls to me.

The warm-up is a belting to my butt from a doubled over inch and a half wide belt, a perfect choice by Mistress which sets the pace for the session with her enthusiasm and skill. The belting is firmly delivered making my butt flare instantly in sting lifting me out of the here and now to start me on my journey of relief. As she wields the belt Mistress brings the whole area up into a deep warmth, suffused with sting, as the strokes power down. My increasing reaction shows the power of her strokes but soon the belting takes another form within me so I take the strokes better, accepting them better.

All through the session, the sound of the implements in use is a highlight. The crisp crack of the folded belt landing changes from belt to belt, from strap to strap. Then the deeper thuddy sound of the prison strap, the sshhwack of the tawse on a hand and the sshhwick of the cane all have their distinctive sounds. These echo in the dungeon and I have no doubt, echo down the corridor outside for others to hear.

Mistress makes it a complete experience, telling me I’m getting a belting as I watch her winding up and delivering, and this is part of my thing, being told by Mistress about the strapping, belting, caning and the tawsing I’m to receive.

Much later and many strokes from many implements later as the session draws near to the end, Mistress picks up my heavy prison strap that looks so challenging. I feel dread, ‘can I take that strap?’ goes round in my mind, but then the strokes from it slap down in a broad band of pain strangely less challenging than expected. But the visual of Mistress wielding the prison strap is all. She sees my ease of dealing with this strapping, so she takes the challenge then delivers more and harder. Mistress has her own prison strap I wish I had asked her for as well as mine, but my gag stops that request. It will be as Mistress wishes, just as it should.

Then the cane is painful, sharp and deeply impacting with each stroke cutting deep into my self. I push myself out to the punishment, inviting it down, inviting more, yet dreading it. I let it fill me, taking it in but not fighting it. That is key, to accept and not fight the cane, the strap, the belt and tawse.

The first carefully measured and increasing in severity cane strokes hurt, deeply. Then I get past that pain, I accept it. I take the caning into my being, leaving the pain behind. Mistress senses my acceptance of the cane, the slow measured strokes becoming harder as she watches my reaction reduce, as I push myself back to her, to the cane, to invite it down.

Nothing else exists except the dungeon, Mistress and the cane.

Then there is a delay as Mistress re-assesses. She knows I must be pushed, extended, challenged and that is her challenge.

Mistress delivers three quick hard strokes bringing a reaction from me. Those get in, overload me, make me react, taking me deeper. Then there is another delay as I come down to regain my senses. Mistress watches then gives a quick six, all delivered hard to produce the same effect. This builds and builds, extending, challenging, sending me deeper. The delay, the quick hard caning increasing the number of strokes, then the delay, then it repeats. The final caning of nearly two dozen hard quick cane strokes lift me onto my toes making my head go back and close my eyes as I’m engulfed in the experience. There is no me any more, I am sent, spent, engulfed.

Against my desires, I had found myself counting the strokes, something I shun, then I want to ask, ‘why stop at twenty three? Shouldn’t it be twenty four, a multiple of six of the best?’ Of course not, I know, it is as Mistress wishes.

The pain is not the pain. The pain in bondage, in the dungeon, from Mistress is just part of the experience, the transport, the route to another existence to another me. It is all things, it is nothing.

The tawse is flicked up onto my palm to lay for a second, then it’s withdrawn to be raised over a shoulder. I feel the dread as I look at Mistress in front of me, at the tawse she holds, as she readies herself for the stroke which I know will hurt. This is my XH tawse, the really painful one with the three stiff leather tails. Then it doesn’t come. Mistress just flicks the tawse back down again gently to lay there on the waiting palm, time and again. I tense. Mistress teases, gets her aim in, holds the tawse in readiness, the gentle slaps of the tawse almost a caress. Mistress is training me to wait, to accept whatever comes.

The visual of Mistress is engrossing, filling the head space. How can it not be? A gorgeous leather dominatrix stands with a tawse raised over a shapely bare shoulder poised to strike leaves nothing to the imagination other than ‘Will she or won’t she?’ Will she flick it down to lay benignly or will it crack down hard? Each time the temptation to move the hand must be overcome even though it is bound to the bench. Then, when Mistress chooses, the tawse cracks down devastating me, making my eyes close tightly, the pain engulfing then receding slowly to a hot deep ache. Then there is more. There is never one stroke, there should never be just one stroke.

Mistress makes the experience completely engrossing

And I want it all. There is no single feeling, no single desire, it is all I want. I want more. I can’t take more. I need more. It will be As Mistress Wishes and that is as it should be. I must endure.

Then as the session draws to a close I feel disappointed it is over, disappointed to be finishing and thinking I must wait till the next repeat. I really don’t want it to be over. My time with Mistress has been sublime.

I wish the session had been longer, that I’d been left in bondage for lock and leave time, with straps binding me tightly as I experience where the corporal has sent me. But it is not to be. Should this be a goal in a future session, or should it be the unrequited desire that calls from the distance, calling me, inviting me, bringing me hope for the future? Maybe some goals should always remain, always be there to draw me forward.

I feel regret that Mistress did not use that belt or strap again, that the caning should have been harder, that the prison strapping should have been more strokes and harder. I regret that the blindingly powerful tawse strokes to each palm were not repeated again and again.

But intellectually I know I’m wrong, I know the contradictions for what they are; fantasy versus reality versus wishful thinking. And I know Mistress took me to my limit and more would have been maybe too much, but I know I want more. All those thoughts swirl around as the session finishes.

Later at home the change in me, the relief I feel is evident. My wife asks me how I feel, wanting to know yet struggling with the whole thing, the strangeness of it to her. I tell her of the relief but precious little of the session itself. She asks about Mistress, to gain some idea of the person but she is lost in her non understanding. To her there is only being hit, being beaten, while to me that does not happen as for me it is a caning, belting, strapping and tawsing which are at the heart of me. Hitting and beating is not caning and strapping, the difference impossible for her to grasp.

To her there is only the pain, to me it is a small part yet a large part, a transport mechanism yet a destination in itself. I try to explain the contradictions but I fail. I think to myself, ‘Do I really know, do I really understand myself?

The following day I sit feeling the presence of the session flare up, the tingle and the bruising evident. I look in the mirror then feel disappointment that the marks aren’t deeper, the welts more pronounced. I smile at the strangeness of that.

The day after that as I revise this, I still feel the sting in my butt and I still feel the relief from the session. I feel happier than I have in a long time.

Two weeks later I am wanting it even more as the whole experience calls me. Maybe I need to go into BDSM training again.

I know I will be back as I glance at the calendar to find my next session date. I ask myself how the session can be improved or changed. Should I ask for a cold caning and prison strapping to really challenge me? I say to myself that with so many sessions behind me, I should suggest some changes.

Yet the session was so good.

When can  I have another?

Strict and Stern – Bitch – Goddess

The Dominatrix Mistress

Easily forgotten is that the dominatrix, the mistress, is a real life person with all the variability that implies.

She will listen to what a client wants then she will try to provide it. She will have likes and hates, and have some empathy for the slave.

Here is my take on over 15 years having BDSM sessions with professional mistresses. Make of it what you will.

I feel rude categorizing people like this, so accept my apologies if you feel that also. I meanno offence. But this is my own feedback and suggestions – right, wrong or indifferent. It may help.

Some Broad Types Of Dominatrix

Overall, the true dominatrix is unattainable, on a pedestal, someone to be obeyed and revered.

She is mistress. She is to be obeyed.

The true professional dominatrix will seldom offer sex with herself but she may invite a service provider for that if you ask (politely).

That said, there are a few broad categories of dominatrix I have encountered.

The Bitch Goddess.

If you want a humiliation session, a session that extends and pushes, an “open ended” type of session, a judicial then she is perfect. She will give you a cold caning to make you shout then power into an extended corporal session.

She will be empathetic and use that to ensure you are well pushed, extended.

When you speak to them in the pre-session discussion, they are sharp, directed, to the point and with little else discussion other than finding out what you like and don’t like. Think of this dominatrix as a doctor who specializes in kink.

She defines unattainable and she demands respect and politeness.

I have seen a few like this and I’ve found them maybe a little intimidating but they are very good. One in particular gave me possibly the best pre-session discussion of all.

In the session they can be very strict and stern making the slave do exactly what they want, often with sharp commands.

After the session they can be a little remote, a little almost subdued now that your time with them is over.

The Princess.

This kind of dominatrix is reasonably rare in my experience.

This is the mistress who has drifted into BDSM and pretty much does it mostly to suit herself. She may not have much empathy for her client. She can be a little remote.

She may or may not give a good session, it all depends on your communication and how well it suits her.

Bonding with this mistress may work well if you can do it. The session will be mostly about herself and if you can engage with her and bring her into the session, it should help.

The Professional.

She does BDSM as a job. She is quite common in the industry. Often she may be a student, nurse, a mom wantring money. She may just need a job, she may have fallen into it and keeps on doing it. She probably doesn’t do much or any BDSM in  her private life. She will probably drop out of doing sesisons in a few years.

She’ll generally try hard to make the session work and have you return.

She should have good empathy as after all that is part of being professional and getting you back.

Engaging with this type of mistress should be fairly easy. Listen to her, find out what she likes and try to make your sessions work for her. Engage her with sensible and polite interaction before, during and after the session and it will work out well.

The Lifestyler.

This mistress is more common and I find them great.

She’s been into BDSM for years and shows an experience and aptitude for it. She likes it. Her role play in the session will be excellent and she’ll work to make the session a success.

She can be almost any kind of mistress in the session as she has lived it all. Her strict and stern, her playfulness, her fun in the session will usually all be there to choose from.

The Fun Professional.

My favorite and very similar to the lifestyler. She may be indistinguishable from the lifestyler but she may be a bit more enthusiastic, maybe a little more empathetic.

She is enthusiastic, she gets it, she is into it, she enjoyes interacting and making it work.

She got into BDSM for whatever reason and she likes a session that is a little more light hearted, she can interact with the slave a little more, she can get right into the session and enjoy it.

She participates. She may hate you saying “just do what you think” as she wants to make it fun and make it work. She might not be that great at guessing what you want.

Of all the mistresses, this one will smile more in a session. Her eyes will glint when a particular thing works well in the session.

In the pre-session discussion she will be animated and lively and suggest things that will most likely work well.

She can be strict and stern, she can be the bitch goddess, she can give heavy or light sessions but at heart she wants to enjoy them, and you too.

After the session she’ll be happy and wanting feedback to know how the next session will be better.

The Reluctant

I’ve had a few of these. These mistresses do it for the money only and it has become boring or tiring or demeaning. They don’t really identify or there may be something keeping her back, making it difficult.

Some mistresses have been abused, treated badly by either clients or in their personal life and that makes them understandably reluctant.  Some I have spoken to make it clear that the BDSM is something they do because it resonates with trauma in their life and they struggle with it.

Sometimes this kind of interaction happens when you ask a mistress for something she doesn’t like all that much, but she does it anyway. I’ve had that a few times when I’ve made booking mistakes.

The Escort Dominatrix.

I have zero experience with this kind, but I have seen their adverts on web sites. They offer some BDSM in addition to their escort service which may be whatever they describe. For them it is a secondary thing.

I suppose if you are wanting sex with some kink, then this may be ideal.

Interacting with Mistress

If you want a good session then communicating with mistress before the session is critical. No revelation there hopefully.

Remember mistress time is valuable so being clear and concise is best.

Before the session, being clear, using the precise words that describe what you are wanting is essential. Do not assume anything – and particularly if sex is wanted.

More than once I’ve written down a list of things I want to ask for. I don’t give it to the mistress, rather I use it to reinforce in my mind what I’m after.

For me, meeting the mistress is exciting and a little stressful. I can struggle to get things in order and it is easy to forget something or feel embarrassed about it.

During the session it all depends on the type of session. You may be gagged in which case communication is limited. You may have a humiliation session, maybe a fetish session, maybe a CBT or water sports. All are different.

I can only give my feedback with heavy corporal and bondage.

That said, a good mistress will be able to gauge how the session is going by your reaction to what she is doing. More than once I’ve been gagged and getting heavy corporal and my eyes give away how I’m feeling. I might rise up onto my toes, I might shake and quiver, I flinch, but a smile behind the gag, a glinting eye, pushing myself back and presenting myself are all great feedback.

If mistress asks a question then ‘yes mistress’ and ‘no mistress’ generally work well.

There are exceptions where it is up to mistress to decide.

A classic was my first session when mistress asked “have thos hands had enough strapping slave” to which I answered “yes mistress” as they were red and shaking. I was a bit surprised at what I’d had already. Her answer was as it should be, “wrong answer slave, it is as mistress wishes. HANDS UP” then she gave me another six of the very best.

Remember, it is as mistress wishes.

After the session, being open and honest about what worked and didn’t helps. If you are not going to see her again, then some simple thanks and a quick escape has worked for me.

For a mistress I want to see again we can discuss things for a while and she can learn from that.

What About In The Session?

A good mistress will be anyone and anything you want. It is up to you to communicate that (and to choose wisely).

A dominatrix at the end of the day provides a private theater for her client. She performs, she listens and interacts, she make the session work and consume the slave to slake his needs.

However there are limits.

Above all else, read the mistresses bio carefully.

BDSM Session Preparation

A different Type Of Blog Post

It has been an eternity since my last BDSM session. I like/need heavy corporal punishment and I just love the bondage and fetish that goes along with it.

This blog post will tell the story from booking, checking my gear, the lead up to, then a very brief description of the session itself.

There is no fiction here – this is how it happened.

Booking the next BDSM Session

I don’t just wake up one morning and say, “Right! I think I’ll have a BDSM session this afternoon.” No. First of all the mistress I see is only available some days. Next, I do need some time to prepare, to get into the head space and also, quite frankly, to enjoy the anticipation.

Booking.

This time I made the booking through the mistress I’ve been seeing. She is the ‘fun professional’ kind, empathetic and gives really good sessions. We exchanged a pair of emails and the date and time was set.

With my 15 years of experience and 20 different mistresses, she is right at the top for the kind of session I like.

Gear Checkout

I have a lot of gear, many straps, belts, tawse etc. These have not been used in quite a while so a check over felt like a good idea.

I’m damn glad I did as there was significant mold on a few of them. I cleaned it off and then lay them all out to dry. After that a check then a light application of leather dressing finished it off. They were fine.

What Does It Feel Like?

I usually ask for heavy corporal, lots of belt, strap, tawse, prison strap then the cane. I get quite a bit of hand strapping and tawsing; having mistress stand in front of me and strapping my hands hits all the fetish high points.

The session lasts for an hour and most of that is the mistress giving me heavy corporal.

At the end of a session I usually have a butt that looks awful. It’, badly bruised and often bleeding a little here and there, needing antiseptic cream. Just in case.

So the sessions are intense.

With the passage of time without a session, without any corporal, how will it feel? Am I able to take what mistress gives? Should I still ask for ‘heavy’ and of course can I take it? This questions with variations repeated themselves in my brain.

So Am I Corporal Capable?

So, the thing is, it has been about 12 months since my last session and I know my tolerance for corporal will be way down.

I did a test when I was cleaning my gear. I used my XH London Tanners 3 tail tawse to gave myself 3 strokes to each hand. Damnation they hurt like the very devil.

At that moment I had no idea how I was going to be able to take what mistress would give me. She uses a few straps on my hands, then this tawse after. Unless you’ve experienced an XH tawse, you really don’t know how painful it can be.

General Fitness

Now this is a huge issue. I’ve not done any exercise as a result of the lock down and I’m so wasted when I do anything.

A full on BDSM session is going to be an issue. I want it to be excellent, challenging, to be extended but also to be able to accept what is given at every level.

Goal Setting And Training

So I set a goal. Not your everyday goal, but a BDSM session fitness goal I suppose you could say.

Every day from then to the session I resolved to do at least one hour’s exercise. It could be any of walking, gym, gardening. Or all of them.

Plus, if I had the privacy, I’d try to give myself corporal, as much as I could, to try and get ready for mistress and her strong right arm.

I’ve tried self-corporal in the past and found it quite a poor experience. I could never give it as hard as the mistress did and also chickened out far too early. One or two strokes of a tawse self-delivered to the palms had always been my limit.

In truth, it had always felt a little silly. Me tawsing myself? Why on earth would I do that? The mental image of me doing that to myself was scarring.

But now I had a reason, a goal.

10 days out – So for my 1st day of preparation I did 3 hours exercise and I was absolutely exhausted. I felt almost faint at one time – but I feel so good. I’d started.

9 days out – Nothing. Work got in the way with staff meetings and a work night out with clients.

8 days out – I gave myself three strokes of the XH tawse to each hand every few hours when able. This challenged me at every level.

I did that six times and it was painful and difficult. At the same time I gave myself sets of a dozen from the XH tawse onto the bare butt. The first set was awful. It got easier as the day wore on. I did an hour and a half exercise. I saw red marks on my butt two hours later so there was some effect happening.

I think both the hand strapping and the butt strapping got easier as the day wore on. I’m interested to see how tomorrow fares.

7 days out. I only ended up giving myself two sets of six of the tawse to the hands and the butt. Both sets of the tawse really hurt though making me wonder if it was my technique improving or was I not getting used to the corporal at all. It was a busy day without privacy. Then I did an hours exercise in the evening. It was over all a good day.

6 Days out. Early in the day I gave my self six lighter strokes to each hand, and a full dozen fairly hard to the butt. Six in a row to each hand is so challenging. I couldn’t have done that a few days ago, even with lighter strokes. They all really got in, stinging a lot. Sitting  with a blazing butt and warm tingling hands as I typed this was rather pleasing.

At the end of day, I had a grueling hour and a half exercise in the evening and felt great about it.

During the day I gave myself a total of 4 sets of six to each hand and a dozen to the butt. I found it challenging at every level. The butt tawsing really does start to burn after a little while.

I’m noticing that the way I hold the tawse and then deliver it has both changed and improved. It really does give a sharp bite.

Self honesty also came into play. If the stroke does not land properly I must tell myself to repeat it. That’s not easy when it might land lower on the thighs than it should have, hurts, then I have to repeat it higher up. Same to the hands, it might still hurt and must be repeated.

5 Days Out. My butt is a bit bruised from yesterday and I’ve got some muscle soreness from the exercise. Should I have a day off?

NO! As a trial,  I just gave myself a dozen to the butt which I took better, then six to each hand which still hurt like hell. The hands are going to be a problem on the day. I can see that. Both are tingling as I write this.

During the day I gave myself another five sets of this; six to each hand and a dozen to the butt. All in all, it was quite effective as I could feel the burn all day.

I got in an hour and a half of exercise leaving me sweaty and gasping at one time. I have to have a shower after that.

4 Days out. Friday. I gave myself the hardest strapping of all this day, but very little exercise.

For the strapping I gave myself six sets of six to each hand, 4 sets off a dozen to the butt, then two sets of two dozen to the butt. The thing is, I gave the butt strokes a lot harder making myself gasp. That XH tawse really does sting like the devil against the bared and bent botty.

3 Days out. Some exercise, not a lot as I had quite a bit of muscle soreness.

No tawsing either. I think Friday I must have overdone the tawsing as all day my butt was stinging slightly, particularly lower down on the tops of my thighs. I think for once I might be building the intensity to something approaching a mild to medium session.

2 Days out. Sunday.

I’m thinking I should ‘go heavy’ or at least as heavy as I can. We’ll see.

I’m thinking this might be my last training day so I should make the most of it.

I didn’t give myself any corporal and the reason was my butt was still stinging. I wanted a ‘clean slate’ for mistress so presenting with a stinging and possibly bruised butt sounded less than clever.

The day before.

Same again, no corporal and same again, I can still feel it in my butt. That XH tawse really gets in, particularly low down on the tops of my thighs and where it has wrapped a little.

The Session - How It Unfolded

The Drive There

It was delicious. ‘I’m going to get a hell of a strapping’ was running round my mind. I was excited, really looking forward to it.

More than normal, the bondage was calling me also. I love bondage, but this time with so long away from it, it was (is) forefront of my mind.

The pre-session discussion.

With over 12 months away and not having seen mistress, I felt all inhibitions about asking for what I wanted were reduced markedly. Not gone, but massively lowered.

I feel more pushy to tell mistress what I want. Will I be able to say it to her?

I want to ask for; ‘I know my tolerance will be way down. A hand strapping at the start, lots of school strap, the belt, lighter straps and a light to medium tawsing. Then gagged for the rest of the session. Counting does not do it for me, it beings me back. Onto suspension. Lots of belt and strap. I’d really like to see you take off the belt then fold it in half before you use it. To show me the strap or belt or tawse you are going to use. Would you mind telling me … I’m going to strap you so hard now … and it’s tie for a hard belting … time to tawse you again.  That sort of thing. Mistress telling slave she is going to give him a strapping. Then off suspension, another hand strapping, then bent over the bench for yet more stap and belt and tawse. Occasional hand strapping. Then at the end a heavy prison strapping and the cane. then a final hand strapping.’

(I wrote the above after a lot of thought, 3 and a half hours early)

The session.

After the session

— I’ll update these sections a day or two after the session —

Cold Prison Strapping and Caning

Cold Strapping And Caning -When Fantasy Exceeds Reality

This is something that calls again. I think in my next session…

A particularly athletic mistress did like to use my prison strap and she had a great collection of canes. I don’t know what got into me but at the end of a session as we were chatting before I left, I did suggest that I was up for trying a ‘cold prison strapping and caning’ and that delighted her.

For those not initiated, a cold caning happens without any other punishment before hand. No spanking, no belting, no strapping to warm up the skin. The cane is applied hard to a bare and fresh bottom. It is therefore quite severe.

And a cold prison strapping is just the same.

In reality, both simulate a judicial type punishment where the victim is given heavy punishment as soon as the session starts. There is no lead up, no getting used to it.

On my next session she remembered, she sure did. I’ll admit there was an element of excitement, here was I going to get a severe punishment straight away and that just hit the masochist nerve.

I was put into suspension, my arms lifted into the air by leather cuffs on my wrists clipped to a metal bar on the end of a cable. Then she gave me a dozen of the best of my prison strap. They were absolutely delivered hard. The prison strap is quite heavy, and as I type this I can remember each stroke pushing me forward with the power she put into it. Then she gave me a dozen of the best of the cane and even through the pain from the prison strapping, I felt those cane strokes.

It has been a while since my last session. This is sounding better and better.

First Post Covid Session Commentary

My Next Session

This post will be updated a number of times over the coming weeks.

It will document all phases of my upcoming session.

Booking The Session. I’ve not had a session in so long and now I have been able to book one 2  weeks in advance. As soon as I emailed mistress to book the session, and she confirmed, I felt better. Sure, it is 2 weeks away but I’ve done something! It is going to happen at long last.

She is the same mistress I’ve had three sessions with already. She is keen on the whole corporal, bondage, fetish thing I like and we get along very well. In fetish with the leather corset, skirt, boots and belts mistress looks fabulous.

Sessions with her are reasonably light hearted but she does demand I do as she says and present for the corporal I need.

What Will I Ask For?

This is consuming me. It has been almost a year now since my last session. Some injuries and illness as well as the pandemic has kept me away for so long.

I know I want more than I can take and that’s from experience.  I know that after a significant absence that my tolerance for corporal will be way down. There is nothing like getting a regular strapping and caning to let you take more strapping and caning. The eternity of 12 months away will make the session gruelling.

I feel I want to ask for a cold prison strapping and caning. I know also this will over-extend me and I’ll really struggle with it. But it calls to me. I just want to be really pushed, to have a super session.

I’ll think more about this and add to this post closer to session time.

Gear checkout happened.

I have a lot of gear that has not been used in so long. Pulling it out of storage made a few things become instantly noticeable.

First of all the buckles on all the belts and stirrup leathers were heavily tarnished. Damn. It takes an hour plus with some fine steel wool to clean them up.

Then, shock and horror, a couple of my straps and tawse have mould on them, fat hairy patches of mould. This really does not please me. In the end I wash them in clean water then use methylated spirit to rub them over. This will hopefully kill spores and maybe prevent it returning. I will have to check it again just before the session.

More Thoughts On The Session

Three days after booking the session I’m thinking I’ll ask for the same kind of session mistress and I had last time but with minor changes.

I’ll ask for lots of fetish tease with her putting on the belts, taking them off, getting them ready, showing me the belt or strap she is going to use. I’ll ask her to tell me she is going to strap me, “slave, mistress is going to strap those palms. Hands UP,” kind of thing. Same for the prison strapping and caning.  (same as last time)

I want to be gagged for the whole session. I find this makes immersion into sub-space easier and also it makes accepting heavy corporal easier.

The remainder will be pretty much the same again, with feeling!.

Then I’ll ask for a prolonged hand strapping, starting off with the school strap for lighter strokes, then progress through belts and tawse for progressively heavier hand strappings.

At the start of the session I want many more lighter strokes from many implements, rather than a few heavy strokes from a severe implement.

Then onto suspension, my wrist cuffs attached to the suspension bar and I’m lifted onto my feet.

Then start off with heavy belting from the wide belts she is wearing. The black belt is lighter, use that as hard as she can from each side.  Show taking it off and getting it ready. Make it sting, make me react. Take her time, watch me squirm, run the belt through her hands as she waits just a few seconds. Then repeat with the thicker brown belt.

After this for mistress to move through the other implements. Use an implement hard, then a lighter implement like a softer wider belt for me to recover. Do this time and again.

About half way through take me off suspension then onto my knees for another hand strapping. Mistress to give heavier strokes, not that many of them, but severe. This will probably mean the Lochgelly tawse gets used more than once.

Then I’ll be standing, bent over the bondage bench, my hands out in front of me and with the palms up.

In this position mistress can give me beltings, strappings and tawsing to my butt, hard. Every now and then mistress will move in front to give another six of the best hand strapping. She can use the end of a wide belt, a strap or a tawse.

Then as time draws to a close, a prison strapping then a sound caning.

Finally at the end of the session, kneeling again for a final hand strapping. I’ll be pretty wasted, probably not a lot of hand strapping is needed, but something to end with.

Problem. This is far too much information and far too much detail. I’ll have to distil this for the pre-session discussion.

I still can’t get the idea of a cold prison strapping and caning out of my head. i think I’ll ask mistress for this for next session in maybe a months time. She has an excellent memory. I am sure she will not forget. Plus she has her own prison strap, so maybe she should use hers and mine before the cane.

The Day Before

I’m not there yet. TBA.