Session Booked for 28 October 2022

Ms Smeet

Choosing the featured image was difficult. I’ve used them all before I am sure – but the one of the dominatrix in the dungeon does my upcoming session BDSM justice.

I wonder – where else can you read about real BDSM sessions? It is a very private activity – not many people admit to them.

I’m halfway tempted to take my camera to this next session and ask Mistress to snap a few pics. Maybe some before and after pics of my butt?

Anyway. Back to topic.

So after far too many months of not having a session, I booked myself in to see Mistress on Friday. My wife pushed me a little – as she knows I’m feeling pretty low. I am prone to depression and while I don’t think I’m there yet, it’s feeling like it’s looming unless I do something.

By the time this is published I’ll most likely be sitting at a cafe coming down from the most extraordinary of experiences a person can have. And my bum will look like it’s been well strapped and caned, because it will have been!

Can you imagine having something so special, so central to your life, that you think about far too often – and then you make it come true. Well, that is what Mistress will be doing for me on Friday.

She is a superb Mistress for many reasons. Perhaps for the BDSM it is that she listens, she interprets my needs and wants really well and she clearly enjoys her profession. She gets right into the session and being with her in the session is special.

Her personality really brings it home. We meet, we have a lovely chat, she is just plain delightful to talk to. Then in session she is the strict leather clad dominatrix disciplining her slave.

How Will The Session Proceed?

I’ve been having sessions for nearly 2 decades now. Each has been different and all have strong similarities.

I think this will be a ‘standard’ kind of session.

Lots Of Strapping

many tawse

Plenty Of BDSM

bdsm

All sessions start similarly.

I’ll meet with Mistress and we’ll chat. We’ll discuss what I want in the session and then Mistress will lead me to the dungeon. I’ll setup my gear, have a shower, prepare myself then await Mistress.

This is the most delicious of times, the waiting. I’ve arrived. It is going to happen. I can feel myself changing.

All my senses will be sparking off. My hearing will be acute, my mind will be firmly in the dungeon as I wait. The scent of all the leather gear will be strong and I’ll feel the self-bondage I’m in pushing me into the universe of sub-space even before Mistress arrives.

When Mistress enters she’ll start off with a hand strapping. She’ll use a light school strap, standing right in front of me wearing wide leather belts that push deep into my fetish and into my fantasy. Then she’ll strap me. The strap will flick up onto my palm and lay there for a moment. Then she’ll pull it back and off. Maybe she’ll repeat that, Maybe not. Then the strap will crack down, I’ll try to show no reaction, and she’ll strap me again and again. Then she’ll use something else, maybe the end of a belt, maybe a light tawse, and she’ll use it harder and harder. Then she’ll use the XH tawse and I know she will destroy me. That is what an XH tawse wielded with power does.

After that… well that depends on me posting an update. But there will be a lot of bondage, belting, tawsing, strapping, caning and prison strapping. It will be the full corporal experience. When I made the booking, I told the reception person I was wanting ‘excessive corporal‘ which made her chuckle.

The time in session will be sadly over far too soon and I know I’ll be disappointed when it’s over. The drive away from the venue will be ‘floaty-sad’ for me as I know I won’t be having another session soon and I know I’ll be missing it more and more as the weeks pass.

I’ll be playing safe and hard – ‘Trikki

BDSM and Site Popularity

I created Silent Quivers, this site, a few years ago as a place to publish stories and provide some topical information on the BDSM kink I enjoy.

I had high hopes it would help people, as well as perhaps to entertain.

I also set about putting up what I thought was helpful information for people like me who maybe struggled with this secret passion.

I know this internal battle I feel between the logical side and my fetish and kink needs gives me a lot of trouble. At times I truly am almost quivering in my need. I had that for over 3 decades before I had my first ever BDSM session.

So Where Is This Site Going?

I don’t know. I don’t have a real plan. I wish I did. I am kind of using this post to help me make up my mind.

I’ve had a lot of pleasure from a few people who contacted me and thanked me for the information, taking the time, and showing them there are others out there like themselves.

There is no advertising on the site – and I do get approached for that. Not advertizing is deliberate – this is about something that is so private and dear to me and I don’t want to pollute or degrade the experience for others. But some money would be nice!

Some days I feel like scrapping the site and saving the hosting fees. At others I quite enjoy writing a post and then updating it later.

I’ve gone months without posting, and then post a few things in a week or two (like now). I have no schedule and that probably shows.

I have met a few people like myself through this site, only males, which is a little disappointing. But it really is pleasing when contact is made.

Some are into caning, others into hand strapping and tawsing and there are even a few domestic discipline readers (note to self – I must finish the story I have on this topic). But there is always a common theme of corporal punishment filling a need.

I do enjoy all the comments and feedback I get. Maybe if this dries up I’ll delete the site.

Why No New Stories?

It has been a while I’ll admit.

I absolutely enjoy writing about BDSM and my special kind of kink focused stories. I have a huge collection of them partially written, not finished, waiting for me to do some work on them. You get the idea!

Yes. I start something then don’t finish. That’s a huge problem.

For example, the “Femdom Riding Academy” is 12,000 words, and “Whip Mistress Transitions” is another 12,000 words, and “Naughty Solo Nancy” is 38,000 words. “Cyber Red Wire” is 35,000 words. I even wrote a “TED Talk” and re-wrote it 4 times detailing my life into these silent quivers – the journey from teen to senior. I gave the talk a half dozen times in a private time as if I was presenting to an audience, tweaking it for delivery and flow. That was challenging and enlightening.

The problem is I start, slam out thousands of words then something else comes to mind and I move on to work on that for a time.

Sorry! If you are wanting stores, they are there, just not finished. Yet.

Maybe if I got a little more encouragement I might finish some.

How Popular Is Silent Quivers?

I get anywhere from 20 to 100 impressions a day. This is the number of times the site comes up in an internet search and is shown to someone.

Google reports I get from 10 to 20 clicks a day for the last 2 months which results in an average of 13.3% clicks to views. Prior to that clicks could be as low as zero and as high as 20 again but the percentage was similar, and it is similar over 12 months.

These last few months have been more steady with higher regular clicks per day. I have no idea why that is happening – but the site is slowly growing. I think it is doing about double the traffic from 2 years go approx.

I’m looking at the most popular postings that are found by searches. It varies between three common searches.

Hand tawsing and strapping – is a very popular search. These lead to informative real life articles as well as fiction.

Cold caning – is another popular search and the posts on this get more trafic than most. I have one more in the pipeline for posting in a week or so (a fine plan that!).

Stories comes a close third. Users of the site probably search for one thing, then move to the stores to see what it’s all about.

But It is All About The Journey

Yep. I forget that so often.

I had my last session maybe 6 months ago now. I only had 2 during 2021 and COVID, work, depression and enduring life’s burden does weigh heavily on me.

Today I was feeling pretty low. The ‘black dog of depression‘ has been snapping at my heels for a while now. I commented to my wife I really am missing my secret hobby (she knows exactly what this is) and she told be to ‘just go and get it done‘ for which my love for her just blooms.

My fear is that I am feeling it would be an escape at this time of my life, putting my head in the sand. I would be just avoiding some of the issues we are facing and not addressing them properly.

Then again it would centre me, relieve me of stress and make me feel calm and relaxed and balanced again. I coul face the world with bright eyes, a calmed mind and a new attitude.

Damn! I’m arguing with myself again, never a great sign of mental balance because that is how I feel.

I truly envy those who can ‘just go and get things done‘ and storm through life without these silly internal conflicts.

But I do need the escape.

Silent Quivers helps in all this. I agonize, I write, I blather on about life and needs and kink – and it helps. Maybe it is a kind of public agony column and diary?

Just writing those words above makes me think.

If You've Read This Far....

You need a medal for perserverence!

Silent Quivers will be around for another year – the hosting fees are due soon and I’ll pay them. I’ll re-evaluate next year.

Thanks for being here.

Play safe, play sane – ‘Trikki

Real And Fantasy BDSM Posts

I hope that the lines between fact, real life and fiction in this site have not become blurred.

I was recently contacted by a reader. I was slow, very slow in responding – then I got an email that I felt was the result of the reader feeling I had ignored him, or I am a complete faker. ‘Fake’ was the word used. He sounded rather upset at me.

I freely admit I was slow – and there are reasons I won’t go into – but I was slow.

Well, I then sent an apology, went into some detail about what I’ve been up to – and of course I’ve heard no more from this person.

Maybe my email went into his spam folder- so I won’t judge.

I also emailed a Mistress wanting a slave for a photo shoot. She didn’t respond either.

HANDS UP!

Red Hood Hand Strapping

Fake? Fiction? Role play? Does it matter?

Role Play And BDSM

Role play is something I love – and it bears zero relationship with real life. I just love the strict mistress ordering me to put up my hands then she measures the belt, the strap, the tawse across my hands then she uses it. It is all about my fantasy and my needs for corporal punishment.

To live out the fantasy, to make it come true and have it meet expectations is so powerful.

Speaking From the Heart

I do tend to agonize far too much over this BDSM thing that has been in my life for half a century now.

I would hope those posts, just like this one, are easily seen and understood to be about a real person and a real life.

Real life can be such a difficult place to inhabit. Sometimes my need for BDSM controls me in its strength. It truly is my silent quiver, my secret passion.

My logical brain that is the me for my everyday persona of being a husband, a brother, a father all go counter to my needs for BDSM and what I need in that BDSM. This causes mental friction, a mental imbalance.

I know if I go without it I get cranky and ‘difficult’ my wife says. Then when I have it, I find the attraction to be massively lessened and I question my sanity – but that doesn’t last long as the need rises again.

Why on earth would someone want to be put into tight leather bondage then be given corporal punishment by a dominatrix, given it so hard that the skin often breaks and bruises last a week? That feels soo illogical, yet it also becomes so necessary for me.

The answers to that can only be understood properly by someone like myself who needs that experience. All I can do is give the same answers many ways, over many different posts and hope they make sense.

Sure my BDSM is a retreat, an escape, an endorphin rush, a slaking of the deep fetish – but it is absolutely a strong need that waxes and wanes as time passes.

For me my BDSM sessions with a great Mistress turn fantasy into reality for a short time. They are immersive, filling me totally, leaving me completely surrendering to the experience. Nothng else, no one else, the session with the Mistress and the bondage and corporal are everything .

It could almost be called the ultimate escape.  The sessions being a sensory and emotional overload.

My fantasy of being in tight leather belt bondage then to be disciplined by a strict leather clad dominatrix is so very strong. Mistress makes it happen.

I once saw BDSM sessions described as ‘Private Theatre’ and there is a strong element of truth to this.

Is this fake of me writing about my bdsm sessions? No. I doubt I could write about this for so long and in so manty ways if I was making it up.

I sit here now thinking about my previous session, and about my next session. I am seriously debatiung if I should have anothe cold caning and cold prison strapping session. That extreme experience is calling me. Yet at the same time I want to see the Mistress take a belt off, fold it over then use it. I want to prolong the experience, and the contradictions within me make it difficult.

I feel the need within me deep and strong making itself felt all through me. I long for that drive to the venue, that wait in reception for Mistress, our discussion is a highlight, then that short walk as I follow Mistress into the dungeon. I long for that anticipation of each phase of having a session.

Of course my stories are another matter entirely. While they may have some small basis in fact, in real life, they in general are massively the works of kinky fiction.

Play safe, play happy – ‘Trikki.

Recovering from various and dreaded viruses

Well it happened at long last. Not long after my last post I started to feel poorly, then worse, then of course the RAT test showed the line. Yes. I was in covid-land and not a happy camper

The first few days were awful, really awful. Even having the light on in the bedroom was difficult and the headache was a killer. But at about day 4 I started to feel better and by day 7 I was fine and the RAT test said I was pretty much free of it.

So that was a delight (not) and someting to get past. I’d joined the ranks of covid surviors. I suppose it could have been worse.

Then, after a few weeks of final recovery and feeling rather pleased with myself, I of course for the flu. And it was worse than the covid. I was a full week plus bed ridden and pretty much incapacitated. Then another three weeks was required before I could push the mower and do the gardening again. The slow recovery felt like glandular fever all over again, but eventually it wore off.

So that was it for the year I thought. Of course. How could I have more I said to myself.

And of course how wrong I was. Silly me. I got another virus of some kind, vastly less bad than both the previous but enough to stop me from working and using the computer. By day 6 I was feeling better but a little light headed. Again, it was a full 2 weeks to recover.

So What Comes Next?

Hopefully no more of these little monsters!

How can something so small cause so much trouble (and yes I know the reason) – it just all out of proportion though.

Dreaded Virus

I’ve had a few emails from readers – thank you. I’ll address those shortly. A recent one was quite disjointed and reminded me of me – of course – when times of great need bring a certain scattiness to my writing.

I’ve noticed that hand strapping and tawsing has been the most searched for thing that lands readers on this site.

I of course thought there would be little interest – and just like catching yet another virus – how wrong I was. Therefore, I’ll publish some more on this at regular intervals.

One thing I could do at times as I recovered was work on some writings. For some reason the domestic discipline female led genre has really been appealing. I’ve got a few stories of a few thousand words each in the pipeline. I’ll publish snippets here and probably publish the full stories on Amazon under the Trikki Watson label.

Finally, and after just coming out of a lovely self bondage session that’s left me floating and happy, I’ll be having a pro-domme session as soon as I can. I am really tempted to prolong it a little and have some ideas for new things. After having sessions since 2005, finding new things for sessions can be tricky.

play safe, play happy¬† – Trikki’