Session Booked for 28 October 2022

Ms Smeet

Choosing the featured image was difficult. I’ve used them all before I am sure – but the one of the dominatrix in the dungeon does my upcoming session BDSM justice.

I wonder – where else can you read about real BDSM sessions? It is a very private activity – not many people admit to them.

I’m halfway tempted to take my camera to this next session and ask Mistress to snap a few pics. Maybe some before and after pics of my butt?

Anyway. Back to topic.

So after far too many months of not having a session, I booked myself in to see Mistress on Friday. My wife pushed me a little – as she knows I’m feeling pretty low. I am prone to depression and while I don’t think I’m there yet, it’s feeling like it’s looming unless I do something.

By the time this is published I’ll most likely be sitting at a cafe coming down from the most extraordinary of experiences a person can have. And my bum will look like it’s been well strapped and caned, because it will have been!

Can you imagine having something so special, so central to your life, that you think about far too often – and then you make it come true. Well, that is what Mistress will be doing for me on Friday.

She is a superb Mistress for many reasons. Perhaps for the BDSM it is that she listens, she interprets my needs and wants really well and she clearly enjoys her profession. She gets right into the session and being with her in the session is special.

Her personality really brings it home. We meet, we have a lovely chat, she is just plain delightful to talk to. Then in session she is the strict leather clad dominatrix disciplining her slave.

How Will The Session Proceed?

I’ve been having sessions for nearly 2 decades now. Each has been different and all have strong similarities.

I think this will be a ‘standard’ kind of session.

Lots Of Strapping

many tawse

Plenty Of BDSM


All sessions start similarly.

I’ll meet with Mistress and we’ll chat. We’ll discuss what I want in the session and then Mistress will lead me to the dungeon. I’ll setup my gear, have a shower, prepare myself then await Mistress.

This is the most delicious of times, the waiting. I’ve arrived. It is going to happen. I can feel myself changing.

All my senses will be sparking off. My hearing will be acute, my mind will be firmly in the dungeon as I wait. The scent of all the leather gear will be strong and I’ll feel the self-bondage I’m in pushing me into the universe of sub-space even before Mistress arrives.

When Mistress enters she’ll start off with a hand strapping. She’ll use a light school strap, standing right in front of me wearing wide leather belts that push deep into my fetish and into my fantasy. Then she’ll strap me. The strap will flick up onto my palm and lay there for a moment. Then she’ll pull it back and off. Maybe she’ll repeat that, Maybe not. Then the strap will crack down, I’ll try to show no reaction, and she’ll strap me again and again. Then she’ll use something else, maybe the end of a belt, maybe a light tawse, and she’ll use it harder and harder. Then she’ll use the XH tawse and I know she will destroy me. That is what an XH tawse wielded with power does.

After that… well that depends on me posting an update. But there will be a lot of bondage, belting, tawsing, strapping, caning and prison strapping. It will be the full corporal experience. When I made the booking, I told the reception person I was wanting ‘excessive corporal‘ which made her chuckle.

The time in session will be sadly over far too soon and I know I’ll be disappointed when it’s over. The drive away from the venue will be ‘floaty-sad’ for me as I know I won’t be having another session soon and I know I’ll be missing it more and more as the weeks pass.

I’ll be playing safe and hard – ‘Trikki

Session Time – Time To Feel Again

XH Tawse

I had my last session in December 2021 and what a wonderful session it was. I’d asked for a cold caning and cold prison strapping which mistress gave me and pushed me to my limits.

Those initial few strokes were so difficult to take, sending me sky high. The heavy prison strap cracked down then the cane following that cut through it all with a burn that really did test me.

This next session, next week if I can schedule it, will be a little different. I want them all to be different in some way, something new yet at the same time the same fetish and corporal punishment needs are all there.

Bent for the tawse

A two tailed tawse brings up a fine red sheen on a bent set of buttocks. After the prison strap, the tawse can still be felt if used hard which it always is.

Then it can be used on the hands with excellent effect.

A Script For My Next Session

For my next session, this is what I’m going to ask for in the pre-session discussion with the mistress. We’ve had five(?) sessions together now. She is truly excellent, a lovely person, and in session she gets right into it. I admire her abilities and that we can interact so well.

Typically when we meet we talk a little about how life has been to us then after paying the fee I ask her if we can have a session along the following lines.

“Hi Mistress, it’s been about five months since my last session and I’m thinking about a session like this please.

Can we split it into a few parts as usual.

The first part I’ll be in belt bondage kneeling. Gag me please. Give me a hand strapping with the school strap, then the end of the belt, the mild tawse, then the XH tawse. I’ll have these lined up ready to use in order.

For the next part please put me into suspension, arms up high. Then use the belts, lots of belts, and straps and then the prison strap for a six of the best and then the cane for six of the best. If I take them too well, repeat harder. Make me react.

My huge wide belt fetish is calling, I really love to see you take a wide belt off, use it to give me a hard belting, then see you put it on again. That’s huge for me, seeing you take it off to use, then putting it on again.

After this, off suspension and another hand strapping with your choice, maybe the end of a belt and the tawse again.

Then bent over and strapped down to the bondage bench with lots of straps holding me in place. Then give me a really hard belting, lots of strapping and prison strapping and caning. Give me a hand strapping a few times when I’m bent over, release just the arms and hands and make me hold them out for the strap. Then tie them back up and go back to giving me a belting, a prison strapping and caning.

After this, at the end, off the bondage bench and kneeling again for a final hand strapping.”

That is very similar to what I got last time.

Last time it was a cold prison strapping and caning right at the start, and that was hard to take but excellent. This time I want more warm up with the belts and straps.

I really enjoy the visual and I do like to change each session. The hand strapping is a bit more prescriptive as I want lighter straps used first before the tawse.

I’ve struggled to document my sessions here as they are so personal, even for me. However, at least I’ll give maybe a little feedback.

Play safely!

Contradictions and Confessions in BDSM


Even after having had so many BDSM pro-dom sessions since 2005 I still feel the contradictions within me. A war rages between the logical vanilla me and the kinky inner self that BDSM means so much to.

The end result is that I feel conflicted. I’m pulled inexorably like gravity toward BDSM while my logical self rebels.

Here are my thoughts and experiences on this.

Dom in Corset

The visual is so important, hitting hard at the fetish and the desires, making the mind wander. Fetish is all about the mind and our deepest secrets and passions.

In choosing a mistress the image is a powerful but very flawed motive. My experience is that the bio on the website is so much more important.

Rules for reading this : expect contradictions. That is where it’s at for me. I’ll be as plainly honest as possible.

Relationships are an issue. And at every level too. There I am in an office supervising a number of staff, and some time prior I’ve been stripped naked, in bondage, being strapped by a leather clad dominatrix with a very wide folded leather belt. It’s my own belt she’s worn then taken off and used on me, then put on again. All the time I’ve been ogling her, reveling in my wide belt fetish and the need for corporal punishment.

The contradictions in these times come to mind often. Imagine what my staff would think and say if they saw me in a session? And yes, I am precious about this.

Sure, these are vastly different times, vastly different in every way but I do feel that contradictory nature within my self in these situations.

My wife knows of my sessions. She doesn’t like it much but she knows I need it and am better for them. She knows there is no sexual contact and I’m not cheating on her. She knows I love her and she loves me. But I feel the tension, almost a disappointment in her voice when, yet she even suggests it at times, that I have a session when my need is obvious. Then when that time comes around again I keenly feel the conflict – the diversion from a normal-vanilla relationship that my sessions give me.

I do love her more for accepting my need, and I hate the thought of disappointing her for my strange (to her) needs.

Time changes everything. The longer I go without a session the more it feels normal and reasonable. I feel it pulling me in, my mind rationalizing how normal and fine it will be to be in the dungeon again stripped, strapped and caned.

Then when the session is over I’m floating. My brain is in a different space and I love it. Everything else is banished.

When I walk out of the dungeon I feel the relief and am at peace with the world. I really don’t feel the need for BDSM, it is so deeply slaked. The thought of another session does not appeal at all.

That lasts a while. Then after a few weeks my special needs start to return. What was once, after the session, something I really don’t need becomes more and more important.

I’ll admit to being ornery and cantankerous.

And that happens and gets worse because I need a session!

If my staff knew, they’d be sending me off with a note for misress to make it extra hard every few weeks when the grumps set in.

Newbies Hand Strapping Tawsing Session

Are you considering a pro-dom BDSM session that includes a hand strapping or hand tawsing?

Do you feel the need to be told to hold out your hand by a leather clad dominatrix? Do you yearn to watch her run the punishment implement, a leather strap that is maybe split once or twice into the traditional form of the Scottish Tawse through her hands as she stands in front of you?

Do you feel the need to endure the searing pain as the leather strap descends onto your palm and fingers and at the same time feel embarrassed, shamed, humiliated as the dominatrix waits for you to raise your hand for the next stroke? She commands you “hands UP” then you must raise them as she runs the tawse through her hands. Again. And Agan.

Have you been a naughty school boy or girl and need to be punished like this by the strict mistress? Will she be a governess, an auntie, the sexy milf next door or as it is for me, the strict leather clad dominatrix?

I do.

This is my story with anecdotes and suggestions you may consider during your pre-session discussion with a dominatrix.

Side On Hand Strapping

“Hands UP,” Mistress says, then the strap lays on the palm, getting the range, letting you know where it will so soon come cracking down hard.

The inevitability of it, the tension, the exquisite pain to come all combine.

My First Hand Strapping in 2005

Long after it happened, my first pro dom session in 2005 is still very much in my mind. It highlighted so many things, the main one being my inexperience.

There I was standing in front of the first ever mistress I’d met wearing a leather hood and (as mentioned previously) I was naked and absolutely nervous about the whole experience. I was the total and complete newbie.

The challenges for me to be in this position were astronomical. Every part of the experience cut to the core of my upbringing, and also to my secret passions that I’d denied for decades.

When she gave be three crisp strokes of her split strap to my hand, commanded me to raise my other hand, then strapped that similarly I had thought, well, ‘that’s over what’s next’ – for a just moment.

I stood with slightly reddened palms. But not for long.

Of course what was next was the order, “Change Hands” (again)  then I had to raise my hands in order again, time after time till they’d each received six sets of three each from 2 different implements.

Then when mistress asked me, “Is That Enough Slave?” I said truthfully, “Yes Mistress,” which ended badly.

I was told “NO SLAVE IT IS AS MISTRESS WISHES. HANDS UP SLAVE” then she gave me another six of the best, harder. Damn.

That was a lesson in slave-mistress dialog, power exchange and domination I have never forgotten.

In hindsight, the strokes weren’t all that hard but there were so many of them I wondered when it would end. Thinking about that, now, for a newbie this was pretty much ideal. The whole leather fetish, strict mistress, hand strapping thing should last.

Why would you want a part of a session that you’d fixated on for so long to be over quickly? Prolonging it, making it last, really is a good thing.

Back to my memories of my first hand strapping; it felt ‘right’ in that I got what I needed, probably more than I wanted and it pushed all the buttons.

Sure, it hurt just as it should and that is of course part of the whole thing. But the pain was the smallest part of it, and a large part in the whole in the contradictory nature of BDSM corporal punishment. The pain was and remains essential. It challenges, it focuses and it dominated. It engulfs, it brings the entire psyche into focus as the dominatrix plies per trade and the slave takes the punishment. Without the pain the whole thing would feel pointless, without any real substance.

As the strapping progressed, my hands got more and more red and they started to shake.

The first implement was split leather strap but wasn’t really a tawse to my way of thinking now. It was a short wide piece of leather with a leather handle, and the leather happened to be split into two tails over an inch wide. It was more like a short split leather paddle than a tawse.

The second implement was a folded leather belt I’d brought with me. Mistress had given me an over the knee spanking and used that as well, and she of course used it to strap my hands. I remember this as being more challenging as it was a little more narrow and also longer so the end got up more speed.

These were my first experiences in 2005.

The Pre Session Discussion

Where I failed in  my first session was in the pre-session discussion.

Good sessions happen because of good communication. Great sessions happen when there is great understanding.

For a clueless newbie like I was, this presented a number of challenges. I didn’t really know what I wanted other than “a hand strapping” and I had no idea about implements, how to stand, how many strokes and what type of mistress I wanted.I had brought my own strap, well, a belt that the buckle had broken and discarded. It was a little long (the mistress said) so she doubled it over and wrapped her hand once to shorten it which in itself was a visual delight.

In my ignorance I (probably) assumed there weren’t any options. How wrong I was.

Then and of course, the elephant in the room for me was that I was talking to a real life dominatrix in a BDSM dungeon. This was in another dimension to my comfort zone but spot-on for me first-time fetish experience.

So for a newbie, what would I recommend?

The absolute golden rule to remember is that mistress is not a mind reader. She needs to know what you want, what you need, before she can make it happen.

First of all you must understand your need  -or- discuss it to get some ideas .

You should discuss it in a way that the person who does not know you will understand so that she can craft the best possible experience just for you.

If you don’t know what you want (which was me for my first session) then it is more difficult. In that case I should have said I didn;t know. I should have asked questions. I am sure mistress would have made suggestions.

Even after a decade and a half, I still find this challenging. These are such secret and private things in me that exposing them to anyone goes against a life of kept secrets. Yes this is stupid, if I can’t tell the person I am engaging to live out these experiences then that means it will probably not work well.

Ideally you will have chosen an experienced dominatrix who understands hand strapping and tawsing and has it as a stated speciality. Hand strapping and tawsing is a common thing but of course finding out if the person you are to see is OK with it and has experienced in it is mandatory. Ideally also she listens, is empathetic to your needs and is able to read your reactions and body language as the session proceeds to make it a great session.

Things to discuss;

The type Of Implement matters. It does for me and I have so many of my own. I ask that a strap that is reminiscent of the type of school straps that were in vogue when I was in grade school is used first. Then after that another few types of straps. Then after that there are two tawse, one relatively mild and the other quite severe ate used. This starts easy and then gets harder and harder as it progresses. I have some belts I like the mistress to use also and how they are used – folded or just the end etc.

Is it to be one implement or many? As above and for me, it is many, usually six of each and sometimes more. The school strap is easy to take and so mistress not seeing a reaction form me, usually gives me more and harder while the XH tawse at the end is supremely painful even with just one stroke.

How Many Strokes and how delivered? Short and sharp or prolonged and slow? Mistress stands in front of me and my hand is raised so the strap lashes down along the palm then the fingers fro front on. This I find to be particularly effective and also rather embarrassing, or demeaning, or challenging. Pick a word. Here I am a fully grown man submitting to this – and I know I need it – it just really gets into me.

Severity? This is of course important as too light and I feel let down and cheated, too severe and well, it is unbearable yet I must lift my hand up for the next stroke.

Is there a reason you need a hand strapping? For me there is not. For others there can be an invented reason, some transgression or mis-deed. You need to make it plain what you want.

The theatre matters a lot to me. I like to be told to raise my hand. I like to be told I am going to get a hard strapping, a hard tawsing and this is what I need. I like to hear it said as it happens. Also, I like to watch the mistress as she raises the strap, puts it over a shoulder then prepares. When the mistress takes a few gentle strokes o just let the leather sit on my palm before pulling it away then using it, that is a kind of tease that really gets into me.

What type of mistress? This matters and of course you can ask for whatever you feel is right for you. For example it can be a school type session, you can be commanded loudly, or be given a quiet yet strict mistress, or even the “mom” experience.

With mistress standing in front of you in fetish, with an implement in her hand raised to use, it is the most intimate form of BDSM.

Mistress with implement raised

My Sessions Now

It has been a long journey into BDSM for me. I’ve learned a lot, changes a lot, and collected a large amount of gear.

One piece of advice I would give is to think about getting your own gear. Not all mistresses have a wide range of straps and tawse. Having your own does make it easier.

Red Hood Hand Strapping

Been there, had that. This was very much my first ever hand strapping. The mistress flicked her strap up onto the palm to let me feel it before.. I felt it for real.

The anticipation, the fetish, feeling the hands get more and more red and burning.

Here Is One Of My Session Plans

I’ve had a lot of sessions since 2005 and now I find myself changing them each and every time. Sometimes I ask for a cold caning and prison strapping at the start, sometimes a more standard progression of corporal and bondage.

Here is a typical pre-session request;

Please mistress, can we split the session into four parts.”

This is how I start off. This seems to work best for heavy corporal with hand strapping and the bondage that I like.

For the first part, I’ll put myself into belt bondage then be kneeling when you enter. You wear my wide leather belts then use the straps then tawse to give me a hand strapping. Start off with the lighter school strap, then a longer strap, take a belt off and use that, then the lighter tawse then the heavy XH tawse to finish me off.

I ask her “please gag me after using a few implements.

Being gagged drags it all home to me, pushes me deeper into the whole BDSM / Slave / Mistress thing. Same as wearing a collar and the belt bondage I put myself into.

Before mistress enters I’ll have arranged the straps and belts on the floor for mistress to work though them.

For the second part please mistress, put me into suspension, my wrist cuffs onto the suspension bar. Then work though the belt, very little arm up, hard. Take one off, use it, put it back on. Use the heavy strap. At least a dozen from each side and make them hard, make me gasp and react. Maybe give me six of the best from the prison strap.

Harder belt strokes on a not warmed up butt sting initially, quite a lot. It pushes me hard, forces me to accept the strapping. Standing with my wrists pulled up high, and with belts wrapping my legs and waist I can’t move and that is a huge plus. I just love belt bondage.

For the third part please mistress, bend me over the bondage bench with my hands bound in front. Use some straps, then walk in front and un-bind my hands, tell me to hold them out and give me a hand strapping or tawsing. Just a six’er. Maybe a belt, maybe the XH tawse. Then bind them again and go back to strapping me from behind nice and hard. Repeat that a few times. Finish this part off with a hard prison strapping then a sound caning.”

After all this strapping to my butt, it’s probably getting a bit de-sensitized. Maybe it is getting a bit leathery and the belt and straps are easy to take. Finishing with a hard caning really is best as when used hard it does get in. I feel that. Mistress (the really good one I’ve been seeing) senses where I am pain wise and tolerance wise, then adjusts the session and the caning to suit. If I’m taking it easily she’ll go harder and vice versa. If she’s using something I’m really feeling I want more of I’ll push my butt out a little in a challenge to ask for more and harder.

For example, I like the mistress to wear two of my favorite made to order 2 inch wide solid leather belts. The black one is standard belt thickness and quite supple. The brown belt is thicker and much more thuddy. Mistress may use the XH tawse on my butt which really is all about sting and pushes me. Then she might take off the black belt and give me a dozen from each side (hopefully). I find this almost dreamy pleasing after the tawse and I’ll often push my butt out for more which he will sometimes grant, or give me an ‘insolence caning’ of six of the best which is just as she should.

The final part is the shortest. Only a few minutes.

Please mistress after the final caning, take me off bending over the bondage bench, put me onto my knees and give me a hard hand strapping and a final of six of the best of the XH tawse.

I know this is really going to challenge me to the max. The XH tawse used with any strength bends me over rubbing my hands wondering how in hell I can take any more. When mistress straps me hard, as she does, this is from the very first stroke. And I know I won’t be wanting it. And also I know I will be devastated with each stroke and wanting it to be over. But before the session with the way I’ve been feeling I ask for it.

Also, and the times I’ve had session like the above, the final hand strapping really is at the limit of my endurance. Also I feel disappointed when it’s all over. I struggle to take the corporal then I’m sad when it’s over. I feel the duality and the contradictions of this.

Hand Strapping And Tawsing News and Updates

For so many years my fetish for leather belts, straps and tawse has been with me.

Often part of the whole thing has been getting a strapping from a dominatrix in a BDSM session across the hands.

In days gone by this was common in the school classroom. You’d be called to the font of the class, told to hold your hand out then the teacher would bring a leather strap down hard on the hand. I’ve talked about this before and how inappropriate it is in any society to beat children.

But for me in my adult years it is something I’m drawn toward.

For the next two blog posts I’ll be digging into this some more but in a consensual BDSM setting.

For the first I’ll be describing the first ever hand strapping my wife gave me decades after leaving school.

For the second post I’m going into how to approach a mistress, a dominatrix, to give a hand strapping and tawsing. This has been something I’ve had to do before each session and not something I have found easy. If your intention is to visit a dominatrix and this is on your bucket list, hopefully it will help.

Wife With Tawse

You just need to add a wide brown leather belt and you get the idea for how my wife looked as she stood holding a folded leather belt in front of me.

Oh. And the sight of my hand held out flat palm up waiting to receive the strap.

The first six to each hand were easy enough to take, the second six more difficult, and the third six was about my limit.

As always, if you feel the need to talk about your needs, or wish to share a story be it real life or fictional – please contact me. You won’t be the first.

Today Is Session Day

Just a quick post – in my excitement for my next BDSM session, here is the marker that today is the day.

Tawse Over Shulder

Yes. Here I go again.

My goodness she looks severe, these won’t be love-taps she give me.

In a few hours I shall be kneeling in front of mistress as she puts the XH tawse over her shoulder. My hands will be out front offered up for the leather to redden.

An upcoming post will hopefully provide some details and some emotional and mental health updates.

How many real life BDSM sessions featuring corporal and bondage do you read about?

BDSM sessions are extremely intimate and private making sharing a little out of the comfort zone, but with the best of intentions I say I will try.

What follows is a snippet from a proposed upcoming post. This is how I feel “now” just a few short hours prior to the session.

My previous BDSMsession with heavy corporal and belt bondage was 9 months ago, while the one before that was 4 months prior again.

During much this and last year the Covid virus ran rampant in the community with lock downs and restrictions being in force causing availability of the venue to be limited. In previous years I had averaged over 6 sessions a year with some years having many more.

Absence from the dungeon has consequences.

I miss it, I feel less stable and grounded. I fixate and my mental health deteriorates. This was initially hard to understand and describe, hard to come to terms with and even harder to admit to. But it is a consequence. My wife is so supportive and encouraging. She now actually tells me to have a session when she sees how I am feeling even though the whole thing is vastly uncomfortable for her.

Having sessions further apart means the corporal punishment I take is harder to endure, it seems to get in more as my body reacts more strongly. Yes, it is true, the tolerance for regular corporal punishment does increase when it’s received regularly.

Is the lower tolerance I have a bad thing? Since I go there for the out of body experience, the almost cathartic release that corporal, bondage and dungeon brings perhaps it is no bad thing. It is just more painful. I’ll get over it.

Also and not to be ignored is that having a session feels more exciting, much more exciting after a time away. The anticipation of a session is stronger with my imagination having a fine old time reliving memories and distracting me. It is not “meh, just another session” which is a feeling I’ve had in the past. This is the full mind and body experience of excitement and yes those silent quivers have kicked in.

How To Give A Hand Strapping Or Tawsing

Hand Strapping And Tawsing

Being made to face our punisher is far more intimate and challenging than other forms of corporal punishment. Hand strapping and tawsing does just this.

The slave must watch the implement in front of him and forces him to accept it under the gaze of the one giving the punishment.

There is nowhere to hide.

Your eyes oscillate between her eyes and her strap. Which is worse?

How would you feel if it was your wife standing there with her heavy leather tawse? She tells you to put those naughty hands up then she proceeds to leather them to a deep red sheen despite your howls and protests.

Or worse, what if it was your mother, or mother in law?

Wife With Tawse

Strict and stern with a heavy leather strap. She looks at you then the command “hands up” comes.

The first one can be bad enough, then the command “hands up” means more is to come.

What follows is a “How To Give For Hand Strapping” description, with options, which applies equally for the tawse. This is from years of experience with this form of punishment and offers ways to enhance the experience for the benefit of all.

24 March2023 – reviewed, updated and more content added at the end.

Forgive me : My viewpoint is from a slave receiving a hand strapping from a mistress, a dominatrix or significant other. If you don’t fit that description then my apologies. Again, I can only write from experience.

Basic Equipment

The Strap The average household will usually have a belt that can be used as an adequate strap. For those more into the subject, there are many websites offering excellent straps designed for this use.

I’ve found much variation in belts and the way they feel. The solid leather kind, maybe an inch and a half wide is ideal. More narrow and thinner belts can be more ‘stingy’ while the thicker belts add more thud.

Avoid studs or similar as they can open the skin and cause damage.

The Tawse This is a little more specialized and you are recommended to purchase from a speciality online seller. Tawse range in severity with traditionally ‘XH’ being the most severe (the XH means extra heavy).

The thickness and stiffness of the tawse also give an indication of ‘thud’ or sting. The density, how solid the leather is promotes sting. I have an XH tawse that is not overly thick but the leather is extremely dense such that it feels more like a cane than something made out of leather.

Basic Technique

Delivering the stroke of the strap is simplicity itself, and the same technique applies to both the strap and tawse.

You may stand in front which makes the slave look at the stern expression and watch the implement be raised then poised over a shoulder. All the while the tableau in front of the slave adds to the experience.

Tawse Over Shulder

Here is a short example of a hand tawsing. I’ve not met this Mistress, but the clip is similar to my sessions.

Isn’t she stern, elegant and no nonsense. Notice that not a great deal of effort looks to be put in yet she does give a mighty impressive stroke. Six of the best from her would be just that; the best.

Standing side-on to the slave is also common. This way the strap or tawse licks across only one part of the hand which can be the palm, the junction of palm and fingers, or the fingers.

You can target one area or vary.

Each place can be brought into red heat with successive strokes or you may redden one area, swap hands to repeat, then swap to find a new area.

Side hand astrapping

When slave stands side on, slave may not be allowed to watch the strapping unfold. Your call. The slave may be told to look at a point on the wall then as the strap comes down, each searing stroke will be a painful surprise.

If slave takes pleasure or humiliation from a front-on strapping, then from the side it can add a layer of punishment all its own and change the whole dynamic. Denying the slave his fetish can be a special form of punishment.

This is not my favourite position, I prefer the front on technique. I relish the look of Mistress in fetish using her strap.

Mastering The Strap

There is a little more to using a strap (or tawse) than might be apparent at first reading.

One of the golden rules is to make sure the inside of,  and above the wrists are not hit. This is where all the veins are and significant damage can be done there.

I usually wear wide wrist cuffs in my sessions. Part of the reason is that I like the feeling of leather bondage, and part is that it protects my wrists from an errant stroke. If I’m visiting a new mistress this is an absolute must – though to date and after 17 years experience, wrist strokes have never been a problem.

Where you stand matters as this determines where the leather lands. If you stand too close then you run the risk of the strap lashing high up on the wrists and that is very bad. If you stand too far back then the strap won’t impact properly across the full length, or width, of the hand.

Remember. When the strap is delivered it is almost a given that the hand holding the strap will extend a little more. It pays then to stand a little further back. See a little furthe ron  about this.

The goal is for the strap to cover from the palm up to and along the fingers – for a front on strapping. And for a side strapping, for the strap to cover the width of the palm (or fingers etc) and no more.

When you bring the strap down the natural tendency, particularly if you are putting energy into it, is to lean forward. This will of course make the strap land a little further along than intended.

So the best technique I’ve seen is as follows and this example portrays it very nicely.

  • The Mistress is standing in front, the tawse is held at the end then it is flicked up to sit on the waiting palm. It is just short of where she wants it to land (it is hard to see).
  • The Mistress gets her range with that. She can see where the leather is sitting and tell where it should land.
  • Note how her elbow is just in front of her hips as the tawse sits on the fingers and not far up the palm.
  • The slave is naked and kneeling with the hand just below head height. This is a particularly subservient position. When the tawse sits on the palm, slave looks at the tawse and along it he sees the stern Mistress prepare.
  • There is a delay for the slave to appreciate the tawse, and the Mistress, and the whole dynamic.
  • Then Mistress lifts the tawse up, fairly high and with  her arm and elbow locked she brings the tawse down.
  • Watch the Mistresses shoulder. It does not move. She is rock steady as she brings her arm and the tawse down. She also doesn’t appear to put much effort into it, yet the crack is formidable. Part of it is that the tawse is quite long and that brings speed and speed brings the sting and thud.
  • Look closely at her arm and elbow. They are locked as she brings the tawse down. That makes the twin strap tails land just where she had it laying on the slave’s hand, with only a little bit of creep, so the leather covers the full length of the palm and fingers.

There are some variations to this theme that can work well also.

Here Are More Exaples

Here is Domina Scarlett.  She is an absolute expert with the tawse and you’ll see she is giving a hard tawsing.

Note how her arm is held differently to the previous example and there is some differentr upper body movement. Note also, she puts a lot more effort into her tawse, it whirs through the air delivering an absolute ‘best’ tawsing.

Here is Domina Scarlett again. This time she’s giving a medium-hard hand tawsing and again you can see her expertise on display.

Looking up “mistress hand tawsing” with your search engine will reveal many such videos.

Particularly strict and stern are Mistress Linda and Mistress Vanessa. Here they give a particularly long hand tawsing in this example, with varying styles and straps and tawse.

Judging The Effect

Just giving a hand strapping or tawsing is only part of the equation. It should be tailored to the recipient and what the required effects are.

There can be far more to the experience than “just” giving a hand strapping.

It can be extended in duration, or quick. There can be a warm up or it can be ‘full on’ from the first stroke. It can be painful in the extreme or it can be mild.

Sometimes a warm up will help a slave take a longer hand strapping. For this, use a less painful implement first then work up to using more force and then more painful implements.

For example, in my sessions Mistress starts with a simple school strap. This is about 14 inches long and an inch and a half wide and not very stiff at all. A six of the best of this is not greatly challenging but for me the visual is engrossing. This is for me a strong part of the experience. The visual of Mistress giving the strapping consumes me. If you have any kind of fetish thing happening, then a hand strapping is an ideal scenario to work that rather well.

When I’m getting a hand strapping, I can’t take my eyes off Mistress when she takes off then uses the end of her belt which is a little longer and a little wider than the schol strap. She uses that harder which challenges more, the belt moving through the air, poised over a shoulder. Seeing Mistress running it through her hands adds to the alure.

After this maybe another lighter tawse gets a workout with increasing intensity, then finally the XH tawse is brought down with force doubling me over my palm as I try to massage out the infernal heat.

That’s where it’s at for me, a warm up with lots of belts and straps from a Mistress in fetish leading up to full on tawse strokes.

If slave has a wide leather belt fetish, as I do, then the warm up is special, especially in watching Mistress take a belt off then use it, only to put it back on again.

Alternatively, if Mistress is wanting to extend me, wanting to really push my tolerance right from the start of session she can bring that XH tawse down with a hard stroke on my unblemished palm. That has devastated me in the past. I’m doubled over, gasping, trying to rub the sting out of the hand and failing. Then she says the dreaded words, said calmly and with authority, “hands up slave.”

The whole dynamic of the strict stern Mistress disciplining a slave works so well with hand strapping and tawsing.

But how do you judge the effect?

From experience there are four ways to judge how the hand strapping or tawsing is proceeding;

The crack of the leather is an effective barometer. How loud is it? How sharp? Did the leather land flat on the palm and or fingers and did the crack sound severe?

A tawse sounds more high pitched while the end of a wide belt is loud and maybe a little deeper. You can get a lot from listening to the sound.

The gasp from slave of a well delivered strap and tawse stroke says a lot, but it can hide the severity. Is slave over-reacting? Is slave trying to make you go lighter by exaggerating the effect? Perhaps the gasp is the least reliable indicator – and especially when gagged.

For myself, I’m an “endurer” and try to not show the severity of the strapping and tawsing. I want to take it. I need to take it. I try hard to hide how painful it it. Mistress of course sees this and knows I need it harder when I don’t react.

The Face of slave as the hand is strapped is highly instuctive.

Slave can grimmace, show shock, or try mighty hard not to show anything. But you will see.

If the effect is not there from a stroke, then you can say, “Not hard enough, I will repeat that,” and slave will know that the punishment needs to be felt.

The Hands will go red after a few strokes and after quite a few will start to shake. This can’t be faked. Shaking hands really are an indication that the strapping and tawsing has got into slave and the effect is being felt.

Spicing It Up

Depending on the reason for giving a hand strapping, you may wish to spice it up, to add that little bit of extra zing to the whole experience.

For a punishment hand strapping, you may elect to give the strokes quickly and firmly and for it to be over in less than a minute. You can give the strokes at only a few seconds interval so a six of the best takes less than half a minute, or a double sixer a little longer particularly if there is hand waving and some elements of distress (which there should be for a proper punishment hand strapping). This may be best for a slave who just needs to know his place, to be quickly corrected, or to have a maintenance that reinforces position.

Adding Bondage can enhance. For me, being bound with leather belts, straps, before, during and after a hand strapping really is effective. I feel the heat in my hand and can’t do anything but feel them. I also can’t self pleasure, can’t get out of the bondage, and must stay there and experience the effects in silence. If it is a punishment strapping or tawsing, then this really does enhance the experience.

Adding a collar is particularly effective. Anything round the neck I find has a profound effect, somehow being felt really quite deeply. It does give that feeling of being owned.

Which Is More Effective? If your slave is made to strip naked and forced to accept a due hand strapping, that reduces the slave to a subservient position and particularly when kneeling. The slave must look up at Mistress.

Getting the hands strapped reinforces echoes of times past and shifts the perceptions. Being naked can regress slave and make it more effective.

Or perhaps if  slave is dressed as per normal or perhaps dressed to suit the punishment and/or wearing items of clothing that reinforces position? If slave is in a suit and tie and the hand strapping is happening in the board room, then suddenly slave is not in charge and slave must quickly accept a due punishment. Or if the slave is your maid dressed in lovely demeaning frilly nickers and stockings then needs her hands reddened because she has misbehaved, that too can lend a delicious spice.

The Visuals Can Really Matter

Hand strapping can be done quickly then over. Or it can take more time and have elements of acting, or performance, orof other times worked into the strapping.

For me it is not just the hand strapping, it is a sull experience.

For whatever the reason the whole ritual matters. This reinforces the whole dynamic and cements position.

Hand strapping is very powerful that way, it allows the Mistress to doiminate in a unique way and for slave to have to endure and accept.

Flick the strap up onto the waiting palm to get your range. Let it lay there for a moment for slave to feel, to appreciate, to anticipate and maybe to dread.

Take your time unless giving a hard and fast punishment. Ritual is all – at least for me in my sessions.

Allow slave to look at the implement, make slave focus with a command ‘Look at me‘ or ‘look at the strap‘ to help focus the mind. You make slave aware of who is in charge.

You make slave aware of what is happening (and not as if that isn’t known) because saying it makes a difference. Saying it drives it home.

You must own time.  You command and control time, you grant time to the slave getting the strapping, you control where and when the slave is strapped.

Then moving back or forward and taking a position that ensures the strap lands as required, the strap is lifted over a shoulder.

With the leather poised, it is amazingly focusing for slave. The leather. The strict and stern disciplinarian. The open hand raised and on offer to the leather. Slave’s brain will be churning and wrapping it all together and know what is coming.

After a moment of concentration during which the leather is seen to be poised and ready, bring the strap down to crack just right onto the waiting palm.

Working The Fetish. Yes, it can be fetish related and maybe it should be for anything other than a punishment strapping.

Just seeing Mistress with the strap or tawse can really be a fetish experience. If there is a wide belt fetish (like mine) then seeing Mistress wearing it, using it, taking it off and putting it on again means something. Take this into account if you want the experience for your slave to be special.

Geese And Ganders

If you are in any uncertainty about the effect of a hand strapping or tawsing, then the only option is for you to trial it.

Yes. Have you had your hands strapped or tawsed? Do you know how it really feels?

Doing it is easy – but of course doing it with sufficient force is far more difficult.

My advice? Try it in front of a mirror. You will get a feeling for the pain and the humiliation of the whole thing – and may understand it all a little more.

Then imagine someone else is doing it to you. You must face them. With your hand out. Waiting for it.

You must watch the strap or tawse or belt being used on you.

Then will you be able to accept it with grace and dignity or will you break down, cry, scream, react in some way?

How embarrassing with that be?

Understanding Hand Strapping And Tawsing

I feel conflicted about it. It assaults my common sense and makes me wonder why it is a thing for me.

But I also know I need it. It grounds me like nothing else, it gets in deep into my psyche.

For me hand strapping and tawsing brings strong conflict between my logical self and my emotional self.

At some levels I have no idea why I’m drawn to it. I feel I shouldn’t be, yet I am. The thought of how it happens in a session seems so odd, yet when it is happening, it is so very almost natural and wanted.

Sorry. There are so many contradictions in there for me. And I babble!

I envy some people, and I have a few correspondents, who say they just want to relive their school experience. Some say they need it to feel the authority.

Yet I find it a peculiarly odd passtime, getting my hands strapped and tawsed in a BDSM session just seems, well, odd.

There I am naked and kneeling in front of a dominatrix and she is punishing me rather painfully. Yet I’m drawn to it time and again. We’re taught to avoid pain, right?

I don’t consider myself a masochist and I never get an erection in a session. Yet I’m called back to it time and again, strongly, like a magnetic attraction. The Mistress I see told me I should rethink that ‘I’m not a masochist’ thing as she says I clearly am.

Maybe to her I am. Maybe to me I just need to experience the whole thing. The theatre of it. The fetish. The indulgence in someone doing that to me and in front of me. I’ve always thought the pain is just a transport – something to push me into a different mind set. It drives out all other thoughts and it pushes me to be someone else. That is strong for me.

For others, my wife for example, she cannot understand the pain thing. To her it is foreign, alien, something she focuses on totally. To me, again, it is just a transport. It is a necessary transport as sessions that are not ‘heavy’ enough really aren’t satisfying to me. I don’t seem to get the same release.

A big part of it is that Mistress is dressed in fetish, stands in front of me and uses her belts, straps and tawse on me. The visual of that gets right into my fetish.

A part of me wants (or should that be needs) that embarrassment also. I hold my hand out and with the best of will and intentions she straps and tawses me hard till I can’t take any more. And I feel that embarrassment in front of her.

Going back in time getting the strap in school, in my pre-teen years I got my hands strapped at school. I don’t see this as drawing me in, making me want it again or giving me some kind of thrill at the time. If anything I find it difficult to talk about because of the embarrassment.

In years 4 and 5 at school I got my hands strapped two times in each year. Compared to some schools and experiences, this was not a lot.

Each time was one stroke of what I now look back on as a fairly simple piece of belt leather. It wasn’t split or thick or overly severe, maybe an inch and a half wide and a bit over a foot long.

Each time I was told to come to the front of the class, had to hold my left hand out then the teacher put the strap over his shoulder and brought it down. I remember the ‘crack’ of it landing on my palm and fingers was loud, but I also remember the utter embarrassment of getting “the cuts” as we called it was far worse.

I never liked it at all. In fact I hated it and tried hard to avoid it. Likewise the effect didn’t linger either, I felt no great hatred for the teacher or the event itself and the pain was gone fairly quickly. It was a short term painful and embarrassing experience.

The whole thing of getting the cuts at school was based around performance, doing the wrong thing, being disruptive and those kinds of things. We didn’t have to try hard to avoid it.

I remember staying over at a friends house some years later. He’d gone to a different school where the strap was in very common use . I remember him telling his mother he got the cuts at school and I felt so on-the-spot-nervous and embarrassed about it even though it had nothing to do with me. His mother was not in the least concerned – and I can’t remember what she said about it. The only impressions it left was in him telling his mum and her not reacting much.

Maybe that was the thing, then. I had some kind of a connection to it in some odd way, even at around age 10 or 11 that somehow deeply almost excited me in some way.

Being At Home In The Dungeon

Have you Ever Been in a BDSM Dungeon?

When you walk into a BDSM dungeon, there is no doubt where you are and what this space is meant for.

BDSM Dungeon

You look at the bench with its straps designed to hold the victiom down. Then you see all the gear on the walls; the collars, the gags, hoods, whips, straps and canes waiting to be used. Then you look at and wonder about all the other more exotic things that are waiting for you.

You will be the victim. How do you feel?

My First Time

Many years ago, the first time I walked into a BDSM dungeon I felt like I’d come home and all my stresses, cares and worries had evaporated.

It was most peculiar as it seemed to go against any kind of logic. There I was a total newbie in a room with whips, canes, chains, a St Andrews Cross and of course a dominatrix wanting to know what my kink was and how I found her contact details. I was in my first ever BDSM dungeon and I was there for corporal punishment and bondage.

Yes it felt strange to me, and yes I felt like I had come home to where I really wanted to be,

As the years passed I have been to 10 different BDSM dungeons and the same feelings happen every time. Each time I feel a weight lifted when I walk into the dungeon. I know I will be given heavy corporal punishment and I relish my time in the dungeon. I still feel like I have come home and I belong there.

My Needs Exceed Logical Thought

Logic for me says I should not be there. Why on earth would I want to submit myself to the kind of experience that the BDSM dungeon promises? Why would I want to be strapped, tawsed, belted and caned till I bleed?

Logic says that makes no sense.

People call this masochism, the desire to be hurt yet I don’t feel that fits at all well. The experience changes me, moves me into a different space and fundamentally affects me at some deep level. Maybe then that is a better definition of masochism?

The answer is simple. Deep inside me there is a need for this. It festers and grows till I give in then find myself in the dungeon once more. Then I feel better.

The Simple Answer Is Too Simple

Again. The super simple answer is that I’m a masochist and get off on the pain. I am welcoming the coming pain.

I really struggle to accept that as the answer. However if it makes you happy, done, that’s the answer.

For me the BDSM dungeon and bondage and corporal experience is all about fetish, slaking an inner need (that masochsm I guess) and the need to submit and experience something so profoundly cathartic.

The Real Answer

The real answer as to why I have that coming home feeling is, after a lot of thought and false leads is equally simple.

When I go into the dungeon, I am accepting my needs and doing something positive about it.

The fact of the corporal punishment and the bondage make absolutely no difference, and the lack of logic in it is a total false feeling. It is my logical self querying my inner need and not properly accepting my need.

I think now, looking back, that my first ever BDSM session in a dungeon was a life changing event. It was a time when I understood that the inner need could be slaked, and that it was something I could do and feel relief from. I still do.

I still relish that time in the dungeon.

I still feel like I’ve come home.

The Bliss Of Bondage

In my early teens I started experimenting with self bondage and leather straps. It was something I did intuitively and without prompting or any form of information available to me at the time. All I knew was that I enjoyed it a lot.  Over time this became part of my BDSM sessions and embraces my wide belt fetish.

Of Bondage And Bliss

I find it blissful being in bondage. There is something about it that transcends normal consciousness. And more. Read on!

Bondage and discipline are easy to misunderstand and even easier to not have a clue as to where the appeal is. I know it and many times I have wondered at this myself. But at the end of the day and for those so inclined we only do it because it feels good in some way.

A definition of bondage I saw is;

The act of tying parts of a person to get or give sexual satisfaction’

Well, that’s pretty accurate and equally superficial and short sighted. It doesn’t help understand the experience from other perspectives nor understand the drive that makes it call out to some people. It also heavily sexualizes it which I can promise from personal experience, is only part of the picture, part of the allure.

I’ll be equally unhelpful in saying;

the desire for bondage is something that is within a person, it appeals, it calls, it fills a need and it satisfies’

And that criticism is from my own five decades of personal experience. But again that just sits on the surface and is quite frankly, pretty darned obvious. We wouldn’t do it unless we enjoyed it, or, and there is a significant distinction here, unless we need it.

Bondage Comes In Many Forms

Bondage of feet

It can happen at home or other places and may use any number of methods; rope, chain, handcuffs, leather, plastic wrap, rubber etc. The central point being that it is designed to restrict and to force the recipient to submit, to be immobile and to take what is given.

What Is Bondage In BDSM?

First and most importantly, it is done between willing participants and in a safe and sane environment. That is rule number one.

Bondage in BDSM is the act of being tied up, tying up someone else, or tying up yourself in which case it is called self-bondage. The whole idea is to immobilize, to restrict movement, to deny the ability to move in some way. That is what is done and pretty much fits in with most definitions.

Perhaps that is the least of it. Far more importasnt are other aspects. The tying up is just the ‘transport’ to the experience, the enabler.

The why of it is more difficult to explain. I find it deeply moving, deeply satisfying and a profoundly satisfying personal experience when done the way I like it. Others may hate it, finding the constriction impossible to bear and the whole concept either demeaning or intensely scary. For the bondage enthusiast it is none of that, it is deeply enjoyed.

It can deeply affect a person. Restricting their liberty at the superficial level changes perspectives and world views that we are born and grown up with. Suddenly that all changes. Bondage shifts your viewpoint, shifts your world perceptions and sense of place. You are no longer in control.

If you are a control freak type person or dominant in normal and everyday life then being in heavy bondage challenges that significantly at a level that challenges you in every way. All of a sudden you are not in control, not the person dictating terms. All of a sudden you are the victim and must endure the situation you are not in control of. That can be of course massively challenging, or it can be extremely cathartic that in relinquishing control you are relieving stress.

For others who are submissive, it pulls them further into their submission. They quietly accept it, testing their bonds, moving gently against them to feel the limits of their movement and relish in the control by someone else. If they have a strong fetish and that is used in bondage then the experience is even better. It reinforces the whole submission experience and leads them to the endorphin rich sub-space experience.

Bondage works so well with fetish and can equally be a fetish. In particular, rubber, handcuffs, leather, rope, chain can all be incorporated with bondage. If these are part of a fetish, it all works really well together.

The setting matters. This of course works at the level of fetish and sex-play. This starts the experience and just makes it stronger. In BDSM dungeons there is usually specialized equipment for bondage as well. Examples are a vacuum bed, a bondage bench that is fitted with many straps to hold a victim down.

Common also is the St Andrews Cross, found in most dungeons. This is a large wooden cross a victim can be tied to using rope or straps etc. Also common are suspension winches. These use a steel cable to lift the victim up, usually after being restrained to the end of a cable looped through a pulley on the ceiling then down to a metal bar. This lifts the victim onto their feet and even off the floor for the master or mistress to do as they want.

In the first dungeon I went into there was a stretching bench. This was basically a medieval rack featuring a lot of black leather. The victim would be strapped down then the wrists and ankles would be pulled in opposite directions to stretch the victim out. I never tried it but I can imagine the effect.

Also in the first dungeon I was in there was a “spine” also known as a “fish-bone harness” which is made up of a leather strap that runs from the neck to the ankles. Affixed to that are about a dozen more wide leather straps that circle the body. For the belt fetishist, the leather fetishist, the bondage from that is particularly good. All those straps circling the body really do have an effect. Over the years, this has sadly proven to be an uncommon device.

Bondage And Fetish Work Together

Self bondage with timed release locks, leather cuffs and other means feed a fetish so well. To escape the real world and immerse yourself into fetish driven bondage is prodfoundly satisfying.

Bondage with willing play partners can add a level of escape and eroticism that is hard to beat.

Locked Bondage Cuffe

What Does Bondage Really Do?

There are a few answers to this. The simple is pretty obvious in that it feels good and relaxing and maybe arousing. But past that, the effects are maybe not so obvious.

It works at many levels. Simply put, bondage makes the victim available, to submit, to become passive and unable to change what is about to happen. This has profound and multiple affects on a person getting deep into their psyche. It changes the way we see the world. It breaks all our conditioning. It forces on us a different world view.

But above all else, it feels good.

Again that is obvious but it misses the real point which is so obvious; bondage releases the victim from control. The victim can only be in bondage and accept what is done and suddenly, especially if gagged and collared, bondage shifts perceptions and is a vastly different experience from real life.

What is often misses is the way bondage is done. This can significantly enhance the experience, feeding fetishes and the needs for submission and or domination. These are all very internal, very person specific, but they are also very real. These are the inner reasons.

For an ‘alpha’ type person in bondage this can be huge. All of a sudden the ability to control is gone, all of a sudden their whole way of life it tipped on its head and they must submit. That submission can get deep inside, deeply affect, and bring about a cathartic release like nothing else.

To be in tight bondage, gagged, collared and unable to move can be punishing. It can hurt after a while with cramps and from being so constricted. All the time you squirm against the restraints but you can’t change the outcome – you are bound to stay, until released.

You submit. You become submissive.

Then when it’s over you feel refreshed and relaxed and happy. Then some time later you need it again because you remember that release, that lifting of tension. At least that is what I

There Are So Many Options

Wrist Bondage

For me it started with tying up my wrists with leather luggage straps. Then I added more to my ankles. Then over the years more was added.

What you do and how you do it is all up to you. Some people like rope, chain, handcuffs etc.

You can do as little or as much as you want of course.

Meditation And Yoga Similarities

I have never done yoga, but I have done meditation over the years.

For me, with a guided meditation session in a group, I found myself almost limp with the deep after effects of just letting go and submerging my personality.

After a good session of bondage I find strong similarities and the words ‘just letting go’ apply equally. I find myself vastly more relaxed and at peace with the world. As I lay in bondage my perceptions change and shrink. There is only the here and now and as I feel the bondage, feeling the leather straps and feel how I am restrained I just regress.

So for me there is a strong similarity to meditation. There is that same sense of release even without any sexual element or orgasmic release.

Corporal In Bondage

So many things work with bondage. Corporal punishment is one such.

This takes it all up a notch and is what I particularly like, or need. I have been having pro-dom BDSM sessions for over fifteen years and they are all about bondage and corporal working together.

At the time in a session when I am in bondage the mistress gives me corporal punishment. She uses straps. tawse, belts, canes on me that leave welts for maybe a week. They aren’t gentle love taps. They are full on corporal punishment. And I love it, I come back for it regularly.

When the session starts I am feeling the bondage, moving against the straps. Then after the first stroke, I feel the burn of the impact, the sting penetrating into me and I’m powerless to change it. I writhe in bondage, feeling the restraint straps and it gets in deeper.

As the session proceeds, this immersion of my head space in submission, into a different reality gets stronger and stronger.

I can’t move in bondage as the mistress gives me corporal punishment, the pain ramps up as I accept it. I feel the bondage, I feel the corporal, and it works so well together.

Then there is a moment when it all fades, the pain “just is there” but is not dominant as I move past it. I transcend it. The pain is just a mechanism I ride to deeper feelings of release and submission as I move inward.

At the end of the session there is usually a caning that cuts deep into me. Each stroke is felt, each is hard and brings me back from my head space, then pushes me back again. As i move against the bondage straps, I accept it, I take it in. Then I push my butt back for the cane and invite more.

Being Gagged And Collared

Where on your body you are bound can change the whole experience significasntly.

I find that gags and collars are partiocularly evocative and affect me significantly.

The soft inner wrists when wrapped with a firm leatheer cuff or a belt feels strong. So can being blindfolded but that is not strong for me – though I can understand it.

Bit I find gags and collars particularly strongly.

A gag stops the ability to control via communication, to change or alter what is happening. When it is strapped into the mouth, unable to be released, it is absolutely an enhancing part of the bondage experience. It makes the victim vulnerable. It forces submission, it goes against and denies what the victim is able to do at all other times, to control and command. It is a strong part of the whole experience, of submission.

Being gagged can be very intrusive and something you cannot get any way else. It can feel like a punishment, it can feel annoying, it can feel so damned strong. You want to talk, to say something and can’t. You can fight it, you push against the gag but you can’t change it.

A collar round the neck gives a feeling of submission and vulnerability. It can be very strong. Putting one on changes everything and particularly after the first few times, it becomes almost a conditioned response. Necks are sensitive both in sensation and also the way they are linked to our sense of vulnerability and survival.

Warning; Anything around the neck is to be careful of as a choking hazard (take this seriously folks) but a collar put on firmly (no, no, no, not tight) seems to focus the mind and strengthen that sense of vulnerability.

Together they multiply the experience. Together, to be collared and gagged feeds the mind, shifts it, feeds the fetish, pushes the senses deeper into the whole experience.

The Self Bondage Experience

This is how I started, and was all I had for many decades. I found it particularly satisfying but also frustrating. Knowing that I could get out of bondage when I wanted went against the whole thing and reduced the excitement.

I did this for decades starting from my very early teens. It happened in a time of zero exposure to the concepts of bondage, to sexuality, to anything of this ilk whatsoever. Yet I did it.

My immediate reaction after I’ve put myself into bondage has been to close my eyes and lay back. My brain seems to slow down, I feel the straps binding me, I feel the gag and the collar, and my world shrinks to my inner self and what is happening. Reality receeds. I like to move against my bindings, to experience them, to acknowledge their presence and that are keeping me in bondage

Since I like wide leather belts, straps, as I move against them I feel the chafing against my skin, and because I loop them together as best I can, moving one moves others and that feels so good. This feeds my feiths and it all works together (a common thing for me).

Yet at the same time I feel like I have expanded, I have pushed myself into a new dimension that has opened up and accepted me.

Most of all, I feel happy, satisfied, complete, home, released, relaxed.

Sexuality And Bondage

There is a huge element of this at times, and at others zero sexual elements of arousal.

It is so common for sex in bondage to be portrayed in film and literature now. Thanks to the Fifty Shaes there is often a reference to kinky sex and usually a partner being in bondage, tied the bed kind of thing, and then an erotic time had. Yay, fun times!

In my BDSM sessions with a mistress I am in bondage for most of the session, there is no orgasm, no touchng, no fondling or other type of sexual arousal stimulation, but there is a lot of corporal punishment.

But in my early days I most certainly did orgasm and my first ever orgasm happened when I tied myself up with leather straps.

Is It Sexual – is it only for sex?

I can only speak for myself. The answer is not clear. It can be both sexual and also non-sexual. As I have got older, the sexual and orgasm elements have reduced.

Sure, I have done a lot of reading. So many people without first hand experience in their lives tend to analyze from the comfort of the easily understood idioms. Choosing a simplistic cover all answer makes “understanding” easy if you say “it is all about sex or sexual gratification” – but I think that’s just superficial and gives the writer a cop-out.

You want a holiday each year, or more often, right? It is nice to get away, de-tox and tune out for a week or two. If you don’t get it, you get cranky and focus on the last holiday and wish for another. Not having bondage in my life causes a similar feeling of angst, or loss, or of something missing. A good bondage session provides a similar level of peace and release to a holiday

Sex may well be at the heart of bondage for me, but I just don’t feel it. Others may read this and think I’m delusional, maybe I am, but I don’t usually get an erection in bondage. I feel a sense of personal release, a lessening of my sense of self, I feel a simple transport out of there here and now. I feel myself focus on the bondage and nothing else unless there is some corporal happening.

If sex were at the heart of my bondage needs I’d have stopped a decade ago.

But there is a stong culture of sex with bondage. The allure of being tied up then used for sex, taken, to give up control and be submissive for a dominant partner can be very strong for many people. And vice versa, to be dominant then tie up your partner sure will have an appeal for many.

To each their own!

But it is more than that and especially for me.

Imagine I said mountain climbing was all about sexual gratification, or scuba diving? Both are absolutely totally immersive in the way participants get into them, they way they engage, the way it sits in their psyche. But I doubt there is any sexual gratification happening. They do however bring a release, a way of relaxing and releasing tension, escaping the real world.

For scuba diving and though I don’t do it, I can almost feel the relaxation of being underwater, deep in the sea, swimming with the life there and experiencing it all. The office, customers, financial issues, relationship issues all fade away. There is only the activity and the experience.

For me bondage started out in a sexual way, but I didn’t realize it initially. It wasn’t a sexual drive that brought me to it, it was more ‘I think I’d like to try this’ kind of thing. To this day and many decades later I still wonder at why I did it that first time. The only answer is ‘it felt good.’

Sure, I had my first orgasm while in self bondage and in my very early teens. It was initially embarrassing to me, I thought I’d wet the bed, but the pleasure drew me back time and again and usually over the next decade or two I did get sexual release. It became sexual.

Over the years bondage became a masturbation aid, a means to get off by myself. Yet it also felt so deeply nice, I felt so happy with it, so fully immersed. But that masturbation faded so that the pure bondage experience in self bondage dominates.

Said in a different way…it was more than sexual and even the first time it was more than just the climax. The climax came out of nowhere and was a total surprise.  I could relax and escape in bondage like in no other way. I felt release from everything, from life, and I felt I really needed it. I felt it was something that I just had to do and couldn’t control that need. Sure I could deny it but that just had adverse effects on me and it festered.

There is Much Bliss In Bondage

There sure is for me.

It can have a level of sexual eroticism working with fetish and sexuality to produce profoundly pleasing experiences.

It can also be experiened outside a sexual setting almost as a therapeutic aid or practice to produce a wondeful release from tension and stress.

Above all else, it can be just plain fun, nice, an experience that is enjoyed.

I hope it is for you.

Prequel – Pro Domme Session BDSM 25 March 2021

Sorry – this has been an age coming.

I had a real life, paid for,  bondage, discipline, belt fetish BDSM aession with a dominatrix, a Mistress on 25 March 2021.

I spelled it out in all the above detail as it is truly a BDSM and fetish kind of session.

Also, belt fetish is a popular search term and adding that, leading readers to my belt fetish, leather and strap themed blog all helps.

My BDSM Sessions – What’s The Story?

I’ve been doing this for over 15 years now, and as my readers would know, I truly enjoy them at a level that astounds those around me who know of my preferences.

For come reason, being in bondage with many belts strapping me up tight, seeing the mistress with a wide belt, with various straps, then having her use them is a huge thing for me.

What about the pain? Sure, I feel pain like anyone else, but a had caning, a sound prison strapping, having a tawse lashing my hands seems to have a different kind of pain to anything else. Since it is deep in my psyche to seek this out, I find I want it, need it, regularly, the pain while significnt is not an issue.

How Good Was It?

Wow, it was amazing.  I had an amazing BDSM session and what a session it was. Seriously, it was among the best of my 15 years experience. Mistress was a delight, making the session work so very well. It was also one of the most severe, extending me. I’d asked for that and she delivered.

My sessions revolve around leather straps, leather belts, belt fetish, bondage and corporal punishment. I just love the feeling of being in bondage with belts around me, seeing the mistress wearing a wide leather belt then watching her take it off, run it through her hands then use for discipline, and I have a large number of belts and straps for her to choose from.

My Canadian Prison Strap looks very severe, and it is, and the rather lovely Off Billet Strap is a piece of leather that competes for severity with the Canadian Prison strap. Then I have some tawse that can only be described and severe if applied with any kind of effort (as it always is).

The thing is, the Mistress makes it special, and without her involvement it would be mechanical and kind of, well, a weak version of what happened.

What Did Mistress Do To Make It Special?

She got right into it. She played up to my belt fetish and corporal punishment needs.

We’ve had a number of sessions already so she knows my preferences. She is intelligent, empathetic and genuinely seems to enjoy the sessions.

What she did on the day was, to put it mildly, get into the groove, to embrace the BDSM and corporal and bondage nature of the session and to really make my session special.

A Private Theatre

A BDSM session with a great mistress has a strong element of “Private Theatre” about it. This means she takes on a role and then using that, fulfils my fantasies and special needs.

For example, a “school mistress” type session/role might be for the mistress to be a teacher who must discipline an unruly student, so she acts that out for her client.

In the pre-session discussion we talked over what I wanted, and she took that onboard very well.

Mistress did that for me and my needs spectacularly well.

I’ll document this in the full poosting to come, the next posting.

The Let Down

I feel disappointed when the session ends.

I’m in a different place, a different mind set, a different persona comes over me.

When the session ends I have to come back to reality and re-become me and, well, I find that disappointing.

Maybe you have read about sub-pspace? Well for me it is very real. I am truly different to the day to day me, so that in a session I change significantly. Coming back to reality is a let down, a transition I don’t much like. My time is over.

The Washup

After the session I went to a small restaurant and took the time to jot down the highlights into my laptop, and now, taking the time and reliving the memories I’ve fleshed it out.

So yes, it’s taken me a while to document as it left me so wonderfully satisfied and personally invested, I feel that revisiting it is difficult because I know I’ll want it all over again and soon. Not that I mind that, it is just that this session was so good.

So It All Happened Like This

— to come in the next post – it is written and waiting for a cleanup –