Corporal Punishment In BDSM Sessions
To be tied up and beaten by a dominatrix is one of life’s more out-there experiences.
Probably more than anything else, corporal punishment is the least understood by those not into BDSM.
The association of corporal punishment with pain is so strong, and the desire to not have pain is ingrained so deeply that people struggle to get past it.
Corporal punishment and pain are one dimension of the dynamic. They are an aspect but not the totality.
People say ‘but doesn’t it hurt? Why do you want to be hit or whipped? What do you get out ot it? I can’t understand it.‘
In answer, yes it hurts but I deal with it. It helps transport me, shift me into another reality, gives me a relief like nothing else. I get such vast relief, relaxation, peace, happiness from heavy corporal punishment.
I struggle to understand it at times also, but it is part of me. I need it. It just is.
What are we talking about here?
We are talking about hitting, striking, physcially using an implement on another person to cause them pain.
The words say it all to those not into BDSM. It is physical punishment. For them it stops there, for people like myself it is merely the first step.
As in all BDSM it is, and must happen between consenting adults. Limits, techniques and safety issues should be discussed before corporal punishment is engaged in.
For my sessions, this happens in a pre-session discussion with a professional mistress, a dominatrix, that takes a few minutes. It is the reason I use a professional dominatrix as there are significant safety issues.
The implements that can be used also give their names to the type of punishment.
For example, a belt is used for a belting, a cane for a caning, a strap for a strapping. Simple enough.
Light, medium and heavy are often used to describe intensity. They mean pretty much what they sound like.
To expand a little, light corporal might redden an area for a short while and rarely leave marks. Alternatively heavy corporal would be expected to leave a mark, a welt and a bruise that goes from purple to black then yellow, for maybe a few days to over a week.
The types of implements change the experience significantly. In general, the more narrow the implement, the more it stings, leaves a longer lasting welt and feels more like it is cutting, burning. An example is the cane and some tawse.
A broader implement like a two inch belt will feel more ‘slappy’ and less deep-cutting.
The thickness of the implement also changes the effect. A two inch wide thinner belt will have more sting while a thicker belt of the same width (but thicker) will feel to have a lot more ‘thud.’
How Is It Done in a BDSM Session?
The short answer is that corporal punishment is given by consenting parties in a way that suits them. There is a discussion about what is going to happen, then it happens.
A sex spanking is similar in concept. Someone says they would like a spanking before sex then it is given and the sex benefits.
For corporal punishment in a dungeon, there are plenty of options. My own experiences are for Mistress to use implements on me when I’m standing lifted up by a winch. Or I might be bent over or laying on top of a punishment bench tied down to it.
A caning can be given when bent over in a classic school pose, or kneeling on a bench, or restrained over a whipping horse.
Almost unique in corporal punishment scenarios is hand strapping and tawsing. The Mistress stands in front then uses a leather strap or tawse to beat the palms of the slave. It is challenging in having to face the punisher, to watch the strap be raised prior to it lashing down and so to control the need to move the hand away. There is also an element of embarrassment to it. As you face the mistress, you show the effect, you show the pain and then the fear when the next stroke is about to be delivered.
Pain Play -vs- Corporal Punishment
Sometimes calling it “corporal Punishment” just feels so wrong. And yet that is what it is.
To any casual observer watching a BDSM Corporal session it could be nothing else. To the participants it can be just about the level of pain that is being delivered and the desired effect.
In fact, so say “punishment” makes me question if I feel the need to be punished for someting? Do I need to atone? Have I been bad in some way that merits heavy corporal?
The answer to all the above is no. I really don’t feel the need for punishment. There are so many other factors at play.
I remember being asked by a mistress something like, “Was the amount of pain about right?” which at the time seemed strange but she was perceptive. It was all about being transported, and for me the pain was the means.
So, Why is it done in a BDSM Session?
There is only one reason for receiving corporal punishment; it is needed.
It may not be wanted, but it may be something that is so deeply needed that it is inescapable even though it may feel illogical and strange.
Caveat; these notes are from my experiences, and also from my limited research. Rudely I will say that I am focused on me and while I’m mildly interested in other peoples experience I don’t pursue them greatly.
These notes will probably be incomplete and you may want to argue. Great. I can’t claim to have all the knowledge. Use the contact form if you want to discuss.
So, why would you put yourself through what can only be described as a punishment – because that is what it’s called?
There are many reasons – and don’t expect there to be just one that may apply to you. Or to me. We are allowed to have more than one reason, surely.
It is needed. This feels like a catch-all and a bit of a cop-out but I feel this within myself. I just need it. I can’t pin it down precisely, I can make all sorts of excuses and suggestions -but- at the end of the day, I need it. Simple.
The role play – the private theater. It draws me in, I love it, the visual of it all and yet it perplexes me. I’m called. I can’t resist. There are contradictions in this but my need for it trumps all.
This is strong for me. The leather clad dominatrix makes me hold my hand out then gives me a strapping. She tells me how I deserve a belting and then a caning for misbehaving. This gets into my mind and regresses me.
So that speaks to a mental out of body experience, an easape from the real world and into a place where my fetish and kinks rule.
Relinquish control. This is also a super strong incentive and something I do feel. To give control to someone else, to do as you are told releases you from having to be in charge. It gives you a rest, a respite from being responsible. If you have a high power job and under constant stress, not able to get relief from that stress, giving control to another is a huge thing. If at the same time you are punished, that drags you away from reality even more and fills you full of the peace from submission.
In some ways, this is just like a holiday. On holiday you are not responsible for anything or anyone – other than have a good time. Being dragged away from reality by heavy corporal punishment can feel just the same to me
A means to escape. This is a lot like the previous, Relinquish Control.
The pain from the punishment can be so strong that nothing else exists. You cannot be thinking about anything else, anyone else, anywhere else. It is all consuming. As the punishment proceeds you are transported out of this world, your old worries and cares left behind.
I have said ‘you can’t think of anything else when you are getting a hard caning’ and it is absolutely true.
And as for hand tawsing, that really focuses the mind as you watch Mistress raise the tawse over a shoulder then bring it down to make the palm and fingers explode in sting. To absorb that pain, to takle it in, to watch the Mistress really is a form of escape for me.
Eroticism & fetish. There is a strong element of this in my sessions. I adore the Mistress to be in fetish as she delivers heavy corporal. The whole thing seems to work so well together.
A spanking brings heat to the butt and it can absolutely excite. This is a common pre sex passtime. The warmth in the butt gets in, deeply, and becomes erotic. Also, to be bent over someone’s knees as they heat your butt, to know they care enough to spank you and then know there is sex to follow is delicious.
Re-connecting, reliving a previous experience. This is possibly common. Mistresses have told me of clients who visit to re-live their time of receiving corporal punishment at school or in other settings. They find it takes them back in time, brings them a form of security and relief from the here and now.
Just for the pain. For me the pain is a small thing. It is the transport, the means to be sent into another mind space. To focus on the pain is wrong for me.
I can however absolutely understand if pain is your thing – as corporal punishment can certainly deliver that.
There is of course the contradiction here for the person not into the whole scene. For them it is all about pain. For me it is just one aspect.
To focus the mind. This is a sort of a repeat. When under corporal punishment there is nothing else, no where else in your mind. You wait, you watch, you see the punishment being delivered then the shock of it makes you focus on the moment.
Nothing else matters. You are there and there only, your mind is empty of everything but the moment. That focuses the mind admirably well.
A need to atone. I don’t feel this myself – but I can well understand. I have heard of cases where it happend. There can be an internal dialog happening ‘I shouldn’t have done that, I need to be punished.’
If this becomes strong, it can be a sticking point in letting go of something. The pain, the endorphins, the whole experience leaves these thoughts behind.
Depression and other mental issues. There have been studies and even a clinical practice devoted to delivering corporal punishmenht to aid recovery from mental issues such as depression and addiction.
For myself I have suffered depression and I know that after corporal punishment I feel better. I have been taken away from that destructive mentality for a time, I have become someone else who is not depressed. I feel however (as a lay person) that the benefit may be transitory. You would be better off treating the cause of the depression professionally.
How Does a Corporal Session Proceed?
Again – this is totally up to the participants. There are typical scenarios and there are some other options. Here is my experience.
At first there is the pre-session discussion where the mistress and the client discuss what is to happen.
Typically in a corporal session lighter impements are used first, usually with lighter strokes. This warms up the skin and makes the body accept punishment more easily. This is called the warm up and is probably the most common thing in these kinds of sessions.
The warmup can be challenging. It can lift me onto my toes with firmer strokes and make me wonder if I’ve made a mistake, and ask myself how can I take this?
For me the warmup is with belts delivered probably at a light to medium intensity. I have a few the mistress uses and I find this delicious. Challenging, but delicious.
For hand strapping a lighter more supple strap is used.
As the session proceeds the force implements may change and the force used may increase till it is significant. For example, a belt can be made to really crack down hard in mid-session and the sensation can be quite sharp. Then a heavy warse is used to the butt, hard, and that really stings.
A common technique used to prolong the corporal is to give a lighter implement, for example a wider belt, then give a more harsh implement such as a prison strap, then a lighter implement again in turn. This lets the body recover and take more.
At the end of the session, the most harsh implments are usually used. This is often the cane. The cane when delivered hard really gets in, it overwhelmes any previous discipline and you feel it deeply. Given hard it feels like it cuts and sometimes I have had split skin and a little blood. But over all, a sound caning at the end really does finish a session off well.
I find that a session without a caning at the end is just not right – it has not finished properly even if the previous corporal has totally drained and defeated me.
Cold caning and cold prison strapping I have found to be the ultimate challenge. These are given at the start of the session, hard, and without any prior warmup. Because of this absence of warmup the cane and prison strap really do challenge.
Normally at the end of session the prison strap and cane feel painful. The prison strap opens up a band of hot sting and is painful. The cane has a narrow band of pain and sting that cuts deeper.
A cold caning and prison strapping to the butt makes it feel like it’s exploding, the head comes back, the eyes go back, the mouth opens in an “OOHH” and the body tenses as the pain overwhelmes.
Is It Hard-core? How Full on?
I was asked once if the whole corporal punishment thing is just play acting?
The answer is of course it can be whatever you want.
It is totally up to you and the mistress. And this is all part of the reason for choosing a professional wisely.
It can be total play acting with the most mild of sensation that doesn’t leave a mark but titillates.
Likewise it can be totally play acting and really quite severe leaving welts for at least a week, bleeding marks covering an area, black and purple bruising that looks and is intense.
Again – the severity of the corporal punishment is agreed upon before the session starts. It can be as little or as much as you want. You can change during the session using gestures and the mistress can gauge your reaction and cater to suit your instructions.
One of the more hard-core forms I find is the ‘cold caning’ and ‘cold prison strapping’ type session. This is where an implement is used really quite hard at the start of a session and it hurts a whole lot more that way. When there is a warm up with lighter implements over a period of time it is easier to take a harder punishment later.
To put it into context, a heavy session leaves my butt deeply welted, sometimes bleeding, and the bruises and welts can take a week to heal.
Masochism and Corporal Punishment
These seem so obviously linked that it sounds impossible to be not labelled as a masochist if corporal punishment happens in a session.
Yet I feel a significant distinction.
I only seek corporal in a session. Nowhere else. I loathe pain in so many scenarios just the same as most people. But put me in a dungeon with a leather clad dominatrix and it all changed.
So maybe it should be called contextual masochism.
I hate labels. They are so one dimensional.
How Often Do You Get Corporal?
For me, once a month is about right and that is for reasonably heavy corporal punishment.
I recently went 13 months as a result of some issues, and I found that too long. Much too long. I found myself distracted by the need for more.
What Is The Mistress/Slave Interaction Like?
There should be only one answer to this – it is whatever you want.
A good BDSM mistress will craft a session to suit you based on the pre-session discussion. Pure and simple. If you want “this” then you will probaly get it, and same if you want “that” – whatever it is, you need to talk it through and come to an agreement.
If you want specifics then there are a plenty of options. It is up to you! Here are just a few….
A strict and stern dominatrix punishing a slave. I’ve had many of these.
The silent treatment, just being punished.
A telling off, ‘you need a good belting for what you’ve done‘ and then delivering. A favorite!
‘I’m going to enjoy strapping/caning/tawsing you with this’ then the implement is fetched, shown teased with and then used. Another absolute favorite.
A school mistress can discipline an unruly student.
A mom can punish a naughty son or daughter.
A strict governess can punish the wayward student.
— and so the list goes on —
How Will The Mistress sound? Bzzt, sorry, you need to read the above! Ask, discuss, and mistress will work with you on this to get what you want.
Are Mistresses/ Dominatrixes Sadists?
Strangely enough, I don’t know!
Some love delivering corporal punishment and often the cane is their preferred weapon of choice. This then feels like the answer is ‘yes’ – but I have reservations.
In my 5 years+ of having sessions I’ve not felt that mistresses are sadists.
I think it is much more accurate to say they are professionals, catering the session to suit the client.
Has a Mistress Ever Gone Too Far?
This is a defintion and labelling thing. For me the answer is ‘No’ as I like heavy corporal and going too far with that is almost by definition impossible.
But that is a poor answer.
The real answer is that a good mistress will know if the intensity is getting too much. Even when gagged, the way corporal punishment is felt will be obvious and the mistress will adjust to suit the slave.
Also, for a first session is can be really difficult for a mistress to know what is truly wanted. Sure the pre-session discussion should have specifics and some guidelines but as the reality of the session happens this can be totally wrong or different.
How can a newbie know what heavy corpooral is like? Likewise can a newbie wanting light corporal suddenly find it is not enough?
In my first session I found I needed more than the mistress was giving. I had to ask her to give me another caning as I felt it was not enough. I just loved it, it felt so right. I think the mistress was a little reluctant as I’d marked up so badly – after all it was my first ever session.
In the sessions I now have, the mistress looks at my reaction. When she uses the prison strap, for example, if I don’t lift onto my toes, shake and jump from the stroke, she knows to go harder because mistress knows me. And if that doesn’t make me react she gives them quicker too.
So how you react in a session is a signal to mistress. She will be watching. When I push my butt out to her, to the implement, she knows I’m inviting more, and harder. When I lift onto my toes and retreat from her, shake, my head goes back, she knows she got in and will give me just a few more to make it sink in as she knows I need that.
So of course all that is totally subjective. It works for me. If you have a session with corporal punishment the pre-session discussion is critical.
Endure, Accept, Challenge
These are terms that come to mind in my corporal sessions.
The mistress delivers corporal punishment and I feel I need to endure it.
Then in enduring that punishment, that pain, I accept it. I take it in. It suffuses, transports, shifts my perceptions. The pain I endure lifts me out of the here and now.
Accepting the pain makes it almost irrelevant. It just is. It doesn’t have stigma or anything other than the experience.
I’m getting tired ot talking about pain all the time. It feels like a focus, like the be-all and end-all of the session. The reality for me is that it is nothing, and all, and a transport and a mechanism. It is contradictory and difficult. It is annoying to try to define. Sitting here, now, I don’t feel any pain – what was it like? Did it really do that? Am I sure?
The challenge for me is then to endure and accept despite the actual pain. I feel that challenge. I don’t want to give in. I don’t want to show a reaction. How much can mistress give before she defeats me? How much before I show a reaction?
The challenge for mistress is to know how much to give, which implement to use and when. She delivers, she watches, she uses her knowledge of the client to deliver more or less.
I know I challenge mistress. I try to endure, to not show the effect of something till it gets through to me. She gives me a stroke of the prison strap, it stings and burns, but not too much so I push my butt back to her, I invite more and harder. Then she delivers a harder stroke and many more in a short time. Then the rapidly increasing pain breaks down my barriers. At that point I am consumed.
Does The Body Get Used To It?
There are 2 ways this question applies, and both are ‘Yes’
Firstly – in a session the lighter strokes of the warm up are felt quite deeply. They sting, they thud, they lift me onto my toes and I find them challenging.
As the warm up proceeds, as the session proceeds, the strokes are felt less.
So as the session proceeds, other implements are used and the force is increased to make me continue to feel it, to react.
Also as you have more sessions the body reacts differently. In my first session I marked up dramatically from a light to medium session. The marks were huge. More recent sessions have had fewer marks.
Over the years I feel I have built up a resistance such that mistress needs to apply with a lot more force to get the same reaction.
Where To Now?
I have no idea other than I do know I will have more sessions. I feel myself changing.
I’m wanting to try different things in a session. New things.
I recently had a training session with an apprentice as well as my regular mistress. Mistress taught her to use my implements on me, demonstrated giving corporal punishment. It was new, it was different, it was kind of ok.
I usually have the strict and stern mistress just punishing a slave.She collects an implment, uses it, then moved onto the next. All very simple and straight forward.
For my last session mistress told me I needed a belting, a strapping, a hand tawsing then she collected the implement, showed me then used it. She took her time with the hand strapping, lifting and flopping the tawse onto my palms so I felt the leather as I watched mistress raise and lower it. It was extraordinarily delicious. She repeated time and again, prolonging the experience, then she gave me a hard stroke. That was brilliant!
It has been a few years since my last, I’m feeling like a cold prison strapping then a cold hard caning to start my next sesison off with.
Lets see if mistress has found this blog!