The Dominatrix Mistress
Easily forgotten is that the dominatrix, the mistress, is a real life person with all the variability that implies.
She will listen to what a client wants then she will try to provide it. She will have likes and hates, and have some empathy for the slave.
Here is my take on over 15 years having BDSM sessions with professional mistresses. Make of it what you will.
I feel rude categorizing people like this, so accept my apologies if you feel that also. I meanno offence. But this is my own feedback and suggestions – right, wrong or indifferent. It may help.
Some Broad Types Of Dominatrix
Overall, the true dominatrix is unattainable, on a pedestal, someone to be obeyed and revered.
She is mistress. She is to be obeyed.
The true professional dominatrix will seldom offer sex with herself but she may invite a service provider for that if you ask (politely).
That said, there are a few broad categories of dominatrix I have encountered.
The Bitch Goddess.
If you want a humiliation session, a session that extends and pushes, an “open ended” type of session, a judicial then she is perfect. She will give you a cold caning to make you shout then power into an extended corporal session.
She will be empathetic and use that to ensure you are well pushed, extended.
When you speak to them in the pre-session discussion, they are sharp, directed, to the point and with little else discussion other than finding out what you like and don’t like. Think of this dominatrix as a doctor who specializes in kink.
She defines unattainable and she demands respect and politeness.
I have seen a few like this and I’ve found them maybe a little intimidating but they are very good. One in particular gave me possibly the best pre-session discussion of all.
In the session they can be very strict and stern making the slave do exactly what they want, often with sharp commands.
After the session they can be a little remote, a little almost subdued now that your time with them is over.
The Princess.
This kind of dominatrix is reasonably rare in my experience.
This is the mistress who has drifted into BDSM and pretty much does it mostly to suit herself. She may not have much empathy for her client. She can be a little remote.
She may or may not give a good session, it all depends on your communication and how well it suits her.
Bonding with this mistress may work well if you can do it. The session will be mostly about herself and if you can engage with her and bring her into the session, it should help.
The Professional.
She does BDSM as a job. She is quite common in the industry. Often she may be a student, nurse, a mom wantring money. She may just need a job, she may have fallen into it and keeps on doing it. She probably doesn’t do much or any BDSM in her private life. She will probably drop out of doing sesisons in a few years.
She’ll generally try hard to make the session work and have you return.
She should have good empathy as after all that is part of being professional and getting you back.
Engaging with this type of mistress should be fairly easy. Listen to her, find out what she likes and try to make your sessions work for her. Engage her with sensible and polite interaction before, during and after the session and it will work out well.
The Lifestyler.
This mistress is more common and I find them great.
She’s been into BDSM for years and shows an experience and aptitude for it. She likes it. Her role play in the session will be excellent and she’ll work to make the session a success.
She can be almost any kind of mistress in the session as she has lived it all. Her strict and stern, her playfulness, her fun in the session will usually all be there to choose from.
The Fun Professional.
My favorite and very similar to the lifestyler. She may be indistinguishable from the lifestyler but she may be a bit more enthusiastic, maybe a little more empathetic.
She is enthusiastic, she gets it, she is into it, she enjoyes interacting and making it work.
She got into BDSM for whatever reason and she likes a session that is a little more light hearted, she can interact with the slave a little more, she can get right into the session and enjoy it.
She participates. She may hate you saying “just do what you think” as she wants to make it fun and make it work. She might not be that great at guessing what you want.
Of all the mistresses, this one will smile more in a session. Her eyes will glint when a particular thing works well in the session.
In the pre-session discussion she will be animated and lively and suggest things that will most likely work well.
She can be strict and stern, she can be the bitch goddess, she can give heavy or light sessions but at heart she wants to enjoy them, and you too.
After the session she’ll be happy and wanting feedback to know how the next session will be better.
The Reluctant
I’ve had a few of these. These mistresses do it for the money only and it has become boring or tiring or demeaning. They don’t really identify or there may be something keeping her back, making it difficult.
Some mistresses have been abused, treated badly by either clients or in their personal life and that makes them understandably reluctant. Some I have spoken to make it clear that the BDSM is something they do because it resonates with trauma in their life and they struggle with it.
Sometimes this kind of interaction happens when you ask a mistress for something she doesn’t like all that much, but she does it anyway. I’ve had that a few times when I’ve made booking mistakes.
The Escort Dominatrix.
I have zero experience with this kind, but I have seen their adverts on web sites. They offer some BDSM in addition to their escort service which may be whatever they describe. For them it is a secondary thing.
I suppose if you are wanting sex with some kink, then this may be ideal.
Interacting with Mistress
If you want a good session then communicating with mistress before the session is critical. No revelation there hopefully.
Remember mistress time is valuable so being clear and concise is best.
Before the session, being clear, using the precise words that describe what you are wanting is essential. Do not assume anything – and particularly if sex is wanted.
More than once I’ve written down a list of things I want to ask for. I don’t give it to the mistress, rather I use it to reinforce in my mind what I’m after.
For me, meeting the mistress is exciting and a little stressful. I can struggle to get things in order and it is easy to forget something or feel embarrassed about it.
During the session it all depends on the type of session. You may be gagged in which case communication is limited. You may have a humiliation session, maybe a fetish session, maybe a CBT or water sports. All are different.
I can only give my feedback with heavy corporal and bondage.
That said, a good mistress will be able to gauge how the session is going by your reaction to what she is doing. More than once I’ve been gagged and getting heavy corporal and my eyes give away how I’m feeling. I might rise up onto my toes, I might shake and quiver, I flinch, but a smile behind the gag, a glinting eye, pushing myself back and presenting myself are all great feedback.
If mistress asks a question then ‘yes mistress’ and ‘no mistress’ generally work well.
There are exceptions where it is up to mistress to decide.
A classic was my first session when mistress asked “have thos hands had enough strapping slave” to which I answered “yes mistress” as they were red and shaking. I was a bit surprised at what I’d had already. Her answer was as it should be, “wrong answer slave, it is as mistress wishes. HANDS UP” then she gave me another six of the very best.
Remember, it is as mistress wishes.
After the session, being open and honest about what worked and didn’t helps. If you are not going to see her again, then some simple thanks and a quick escape has worked for me.
For a mistress I want to see again we can discuss things for a while and she can learn from that.
What About In The Session?
A good mistress will be anyone and anything you want. It is up to you to communicate that (and to choose wisely).
A dominatrix at the end of the day provides a private theater for her client. She performs, she listens and interacts, she make the session work and consume the slave to slake his needs.
However there are limits.
Above all else, read the mistresses bio carefully.