Have you Ever Been in a BDSM Dungeon?
When you walk into a BDSM dungeon, there is no doubt where you are and what this space is meant for.
You look at the bench with its straps designed to hold the victiom down. Then you see all the gear on the walls; the collars, the gags, hoods, whips, straps and canes waiting to be used. Then you look at and wonder about all the other more exotic things that are waiting for you.
You will be the victim. How do you feel?
My First Time
Many years ago, the first time I walked into a BDSM dungeon I felt like I’d come home and all my stresses, cares and worries had evaporated.
It was most peculiar as it seemed to go against any kind of logic. There I was a total newbie in a room with whips, canes, chains, a St Andrews Cross and of course a dominatrix wanting to know what my kink was and how I found her contact details. I was in my first ever BDSM dungeon and I was there for corporal punishment and bondage.
Yes it felt strange to me, and yes I felt like I had come home to where I really wanted to be,
As the years passed I have been to 10 different BDSM dungeons and the same feelings happen every time. Each time I feel a weight lifted when I walk into the dungeon. I know I will be given heavy corporal punishment and I relish my time in the dungeon. I still feel like I have come home and I belong there.
My Needs Exceed Logical Thought
Logic for me says I should not be there. Why on earth would I want to submit myself to the kind of experience that the BDSM dungeon promises? Why would I want to be strapped, tawsed, belted and caned till I bleed?
Logic says that makes no sense.
People call this masochism, the desire to be hurt yet I don’t feel that fits at all well. The experience changes me, moves me into a different space and fundamentally affects me at some deep level. Maybe then that is a better definition of masochism?
The answer is simple. Deep inside me there is a need for this. It festers and grows till I give in then find myself in the dungeon once more. Then I feel better.
The Simple Answer Is Too Simple
Again. The super simple answer is that I’m a masochist and get off on the pain. I am welcoming the coming pain.
I really struggle to accept that as the answer. However if it makes you happy, done, that’s the answer.
For me the BDSM dungeon and bondage and corporal experience is all about fetish, slaking an inner need (that masochsm I guess) and the need to submit and experience something so profoundly cathartic.
The Real Answer
The real answer as to why I have that coming home feeling is, after a lot of thought and false leads is equally simple.
When I go into the dungeon, I am accepting my needs and doing something positive about it.
The fact of the corporal punishment and the bondage make absolutely no difference, and the lack of logic in it is a total false feeling. It is my logical self querying my inner need and not properly accepting my need.
I think now, looking back, that my first ever BDSM session in a dungeon was a life changing event. It was a time when I understood that the inner need could be slaked, and that it was something I could do and feel relief from. I still do.
I still relish that time in the dungeon.
I still feel like I’ve come home.