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‘H’ Hand Strapped By His Wife eMail

I received a fine email today from “H” outlining the discipline that his Wonderful Wife applies through hand strapping.

Here I will share my answer to all those others in a similar position, and to those who may be considering following this commendable lead.

"H" you are lucky to have a Wonderful Wife

First and foremost you are truly lucky to have such a caring and Wonderful Wife who is able to provide for your needs and to help you through life so thoughtfully and effectively.

As you said, when you need punishment for such awful behaviour as shouting, being angry and all the other situations, then yes, She is both a wonderful Wife and you do need the punishment She provides.

Not only that, from the tone of your email, it is clerar that She cares for your mental health through Her discipline so that those ‘black dog days’ when it all gets too much are banished by the leather.

Kudos and respect to your Wonderful Wife.

I Do Have Some Concerns

“H” you mentioned how you sometimes are strapped above the palm and I am sure your Caring and Wonderful Wife knows best. Far be it for me to criticise.

However, the wrists are delicate places and due caution must be observed.

Likewise, the hands do have many small bones such that the choice of implements and severity of use must take into consideration.

Another real concern I have is that your Wonderful Wife clearly cares for your special needs, your mental health, and keeps you balanced and on the right path. But, as I will outline below, I do hope you are properly thankful and provide for the needs of your Wonderful Wife.

I wonder, as a follow up, would you care to more fully describe the strap your Wonderful Wife uses, how many strokes She administers and a little more detail on the sessions? I will only publish should you and She allow.

Your Hand Strappings

Thank you for sharing your hand strapping scenarios.

Standing in front of your punisher as you watch the implement being used on your open palm is always an experience that brings the sometimes unwilling recipient down to earth. It focuses the mind on the present and it ensures that the punishment, that the discipline, sinks in properly.

As the palms redden, as the sting increases and then eventually when they shake from the strapping, it all serves to help one know one’s place in life and to clear the slate, to start again.

There is so much I could say about this form of discipline, and it is the subject of a more major work that has been in preparation for some months now. However it truly is effective and for so many reasons. I am glad it has had the beneficial effects for you that you describe.

Kudos and respect for your Wonderful Wife.

May I Make Some Suggestions?

I hesitate to offer suggestions as it is clear your Wonderful Wife cares for your needs and is obvously in tune with them.

However there are a few little options I have used that She may wish to investigate to give variety to the experience as She sees fit.

Add That Little Extra Sting. When delivering a fine hand strapping or tawsing, the implement is lifted over a shoulder then brought down along the length of the palm and fingers. Usually.

And doesn’t it work so well! The crisp crack of leather on palm, then the face that shows the effect makes this a uniquely suitable and effective punishment for naughty boys and girls hands.

A seldom known technique that can enhance the effect is, after raising the implement over the shoulder, is to reach around and behind the back with the other hand then grip the hanging down tails of the implement firmly.

Then, as the recipient watches with an increasing sense of dread, the implement is placed under tension with both hands gripping firmly as the implement is pulled. At the right moment the tail is released so that the implement fairly flashes down with increased speed.

All this leads to a rather interesting visual effect, and also an increase in severity. The visual effect can be for your Wonderful Wife to show by her extra effort that she cares and to highlight her femininity as she places the implement under tension.

For your punishment days, when you have been truly awful to your Wife, perhaps She might like to trial this technique at Her leisure.

Standing Vs Kneeling. In my experience when giving and receiving a hand strapping, the effect of kneeling is to make the recipient truly more know their place. To kneel, to hold the hand up at eye height then look at the strap laying on the palm in preparation for the next stroke enhances the experience.

As you look over the top of the strap at your Wonderful Wife with Her arm extended, you know She cares.

Likewise the effect is highlighted when the strap is raised over a shoulder. To kneel and watch, as the leather is poised for a moment high and ready, pushes the whole experience deeper.

For you, you would be looking UP at your Wonderful Wife. She cares enough to give you discipline so you would be also saying that you accept it properly.

Collaring Enhances Hand Strapping. It certainly does but one must be super careful it is not done tightly and without care. The feeling of a leather collar or a loosely wound belt (always un buckled for safety) around the neck as the hands are raised for the strap helps the punishment sink in.

“H” when your Wife straps you, if She has collared you, you will know your place. She will be in control and it will be for Her to use the strap as She sees fit.

Perhaps being naked would help. To be naked and kneeling, watching the strap being used leaves no dount in one’s mind what is happening. It helps focus the mind and it ensures you know your place.

Perhaps also, should you become ‘excited’ as you are being punished for a gross rudeness then your Wife will know She needs to apply more punishment. She will be able to see the effect without hearing your gasps and She will know when Her strapping has had the desired effect.

Your Mention Strap, Not Tawse. Yes, the strap when used well most certainly does redden a palm and does bring a sting that is deep down and mind consuming. A nice peice of stiff harness leather does make a wonderful strap and I have more than a few that prove this.

Likewise the end of a belt also, when it is nice leather one about an inch and a half wide and solid can also produce a wonderfully beneficial sting. I am sure your Wife has Her favourites and I am sure She has Her reasons.

But perhaps your Wife may like to try the therapeutic qualities of a fine “XH” (for extra heavy) leather tawse. It would in fact be a fine present for your Wife, and the many stores on the internet will fill your need. Christmas is coming you know so here may be an ideal and most practical present for Her.

Of note is the London Tanners tawse, a most wonderful implement I commend to your Wife. Mine is a 3 tail version which has never failed to bring the kinds of gasps that a well tawsed hand gives.

For those special days when your behaviour has been particularly poor, your Wife may like, at Her pleasure, to apply a quick six of the vey best to each hand. I am quite sure, and depending on the strap She uses, that a fine heavy leather tawse will enhance and drive home the experience quite nicely.

The tawse being quite severe also lends itself to a quick yet very effective punishment. For example if you are rude and impatient when She is getting ready, She may elect to give you a quick six of the very best to each hand. It only takes a minute and the benefit lasts hours. This may also be most beneficial if you are going out with friends, or a work turn, or shopping and your Wife wants to ensure your best behaviour. She may just to make sure, tell you to fetch the tawse then give you a quick double sixer as you kneel, before you leave the house. That way you can remember just how well you should behave as you feel your throbbing palms.

Alternatively, on those black-dog days when you are needing to feed your fetish your Wonderful Wife may elect to give you nice slow warm up with her strap, nice and slow. Each stroke will be given hard with plenty of time to feel the effect and to watch your Wife with Her strap. You can savour the effect, you can bask in the glow of love as your Wonderful Wife disciplines you and sees to your mental health as She brings your hands to a fine warmth with a pink sheen. Then when She chooses She may elect to use Her tawse to finish you off nicely and leave the lasting impression you need.

Sometimes More Is Required. Oh, don’t I know it. To have the hands thoroughly strapped and tawsed is a truly cathartic experience, but, well, it is limited to the hands.

Perhaps and at Her choice, She may wish you to drop your hands, drop your pants to bare then bend over the bed for some bare bottom discipline. Having a tush that is well striped from Her strap, from Her tawse and perhaps even Her favourite belt will help you in your journey. I have found this an ideal addition. It shuld not be ruled out and perhaps your Wife may or may not at Her leisure.

Perhaps you may overstep the mark too far for a mere hand strapping to suffice. Then the bottom takes its share of responsibility for your discipline.

Sometimes it may help for your Wonderful Wife to wear her belt when she knows you need it. She may tap it, run a hand over it and with an eyebrow say ‘This is for you’ and then later, use it.

But when even more is required, may I also suggest that a suitable prison strap such as this fine London Tanners example can also work rather well on the bottom and even the tops of the thighs for the full experience.

I have a very similar prison strap and know the healing effects, and should your Wife so choose, I am sure you will feel those same benefits. You will not be disappointed.

After Time And Reflection. I wonder if after your discipline and punishment sessions, if your Wonderful Wife ensures you have proper reflection time?

Now, I know that sometimes after punishment there is a temptation for those hands to indulge in a pleasure that is perhaps not shared with your Wonderful Wife. That wuld be a pity.

Perhaps She in Her Wisdom may permit it, but may I offer a suggestion?

Perhaps your Wife may like to leave you alone after your punishment to feel the full effects and gain the most benefit from it, particularly if the tawse and prison strap have found full and proper use.

Now, we both know this time can lead to other things so my suggestion is that your Wonderful Wife leaves you in a way that She controls your actions. I am of course talking about leaving you in bondage. She may use some of Her leather belts to bind your aching hands behind your back so they cannot get into mischief. She may also tie your ankles together so you are restrianed and left to reflect on your discipline.

If She is feeling particularly peeved, She may even elect to loop a belt through the wrist and ankle belts to totally immobilize you in a hogtie. I have found this most effective, but it can lead to cramps after a time so I am sure your Winderful Wife will take due care.

Perhaps also, if this were in a darkened room the whole effect might be highly beneficial as then you would only have your Wonderful Wife and your recent punishment to think of.

I also know from experience that the promise of another severe hand tawsing, or prison strapping and preferably both when She returns will add to the whole experience quite nicely.

There is nothing like being in bondage with stinging palms and a red raw bottom from the prison strap as you look at those implements laying there next to you and waiting to be used again. You know how they feel as your palms burn and your bottom and thighs sting. And you wonder how many more you will receive. If you have been horrible to your Wife, you know they will be used hard.

As you lay in bondage you will think about them as you listen for the sounds of your Wonderful Wife to return to give you seconds. Or thirds, as there is nothing to stop Her from repeating this more than once.

Perhaps you may hear your Wife walking in her heels. Is She coming to give another strapping? Then She doesn’t because She is doing what She wants. You may hear Her on the phone, or the doorbell, or the neighbours talking. And you cannot do anything about it. Then later, later when you have accepted your fate and properly understand your place, She returns then you are disciplined properly.

I Do Hope you Thank Her Properly. After your Wife has taken the time to provide what you need, how do you thank her?

Do you provide perhaps the kind of personal service She likes as after all, She had taken care of your needs? I do hope so. It would be rather selfish of you if you had not.

“H” I profess to feel a little concerned that your letter was all about your needs, but what about your Wonderful Wife?

You profess to love her all the more for taking the time to apply the discipline you need, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

Taking Her Time And Bringing It All Together. I doubt your Wonderful Wife needs instruction as She is quite clearly in tune with your needs.

I know from experience that discipline and punishment are complex issues. It does sound to me like your Wonderful Wife has you well in hand.

Perhaps She may choose to enhance your sessions by adding some of the above ideas – though I am sure She may already be aware of them.

I do admire your Wonderful Wife and wish Her and you all the best.

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Hand Strapping And Tawsing update

With over 7,000 words of hand strapping and tawsing text in the pipeline, and more discussions with contacts, the next major post on this topic is coming (slowly).

HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS!

You stand then slowly extend your hands. You face your punisher, the mistress, as she raises the tawse over her shoulder. You know how painful this will be, yet you have come back time and again for this.

Why is this a ‘thing’?

Why do you return?

Ms Tawse

The Story Of a Lifetime

Hand strapping and tawsing has been with me for all my life from adolescence till now. And that is a lot of decades.

Also I am not alone. Far from it. I have regular pro-dom BDSM sessions and every mistress I have visited, over 20, have all done hand strapping and tawsing and not been either surprised or unacquainted with this kind of punishment.

There is nothing quite so subservient or challenging to be kneeling, naked, in front of the mistress as she raises a heavyleather strap over her shoulder.

Regressing : Hand Strapping And Tawsing

many tawse

Regressing to the school years, seeing the tawse or strap over a shoulder and ready for use tugs at the inner needs for corporal punishment.

Standing then getting the strap, ‘the cuts’ brings it all back.

Then a good hard six of the best of the tawse stings like nothing else. That is until the next six arrive, then the six after that.

Stay Tuned

A complete re-write of the next post on this most poorly understood yet strangely appealing topic is happening.

 

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The Bliss Of Bondage

In my early teens I started experimenting with self bondage and leather straps. It was something I did intuitively and without prompting or any form of information available to me at the time. All I knew was that I enjoyed it a lot.  Over time this became part of my BDSM sessions and embraces my wide belt fetish.

Of Bondage And Bliss

I find it blissful being in bondage. There is something about it that transcends normal consciousness. And more. Read on!

Bondage and discipline are easy to misunderstand and even easier to not have a clue as to where the appeal is. I know it and many times I have wondered at this myself. But at the end of the day and for those so inclined we only do it because it feels good in some way.

A definition of bondage I saw is;

‘The act of tying parts of a person to get or give sexual satisfaction’

Well, that’s pretty accurate and equally superficial and short sighted. It doesn’t help understand the experience from other perspectives nor understand the drive that makes it call out to some people. It also heavily sexualizes it which I can promise from personal experience, is only part of the picture, part of the allure.

I’ll be equally unhelpful in saying;

‘the desire for bondage is something that is within a person, it appeals, it calls, it fills a need and it satisfies’

And that criticism is from my own five decades of personal experience. But again that just sits on the surface and is quite frankly, pretty darned obvious. We wouldn’t do it unless we enjoyed it, or, and there is a significant distinction here, unless we need it.

Bondage Comes In Many Forms

Bondage of feet

It can happen at home or other places and may use any number of methods; rope, chain, handcuffs, leather, plastic wrap, rubber etc. The central point being that it is designed to restrict and to force the recipient to submit, to be immobile and to take what is given.

What Is Bondage In BDSM?

First and most importantly, it is done between willing participants and in a safe and sane environment. That is rule number one.

Bondage in BDSM is the act of being tied up, tying up someone else, or tying up yourself in which case it is called self-bondage. The whole idea is to immobilize, to restrict movement, to deny the ability to move in some way. That is what is done and pretty much fits in with most definitions.

Perhaps that is the least of it. Far more importasnt are other aspects. The tying up is just the ‘transport’ to the experience, the enabler.

The why of it is more difficult to explain. I find it deeply moving, deeply satisfying and a profoundly satisfying personal experience when done the way I like it. Others may hate it, finding the constriction impossible to bear and the whole concept either demeaning or intensely scary. For the bondage enthusiast it is none of that, it is deeply enjoyed.

It can deeply affect a person. Restricting their liberty at the superficial level changes perspectives and world views that we are born and grown up with. Suddenly that all changes. Bondage shifts your viewpoint, shifts your world perceptions and sense of place. You are no longer in control.

If you are a control freak type person or dominant in normal and everyday life then being in heavy bondage challenges that significantly at a level that challenges you in every way. All of a sudden you are not in control, not the person dictating terms. All of a sudden you are the victim and must endure the situation you are not in control of. That can be of course massively challenging, or it can be extremely cathartic that in relinquishing control you are relieving stress.

For others who are submissive, it pulls them further into their submission. They quietly accept it, testing their bonds, moving gently against them to feel the limits of their movement and relish in the control by someone else. If they have a strong fetish and that is used in bondage then the experience is even better. It reinforces the whole submission experience and leads them to the endorphin rich sub-space experience.

Bondage works so well with fetish and can equally be a fetish. In particular, rubber, handcuffs, leather, rope, chain can all be incorporated with bondage. If these are part of a fetish, it all works really well together.

The setting matters. This of course works at the level of fetish and sex-play. This starts the experience and just makes it stronger. In BDSM dungeons there is usually specialized equipment for bondage as well. Examples are a vacuum bed, a bondage bench that is fitted with many straps to hold a victim down.

Common also is the St Andrews Cross, found in most dungeons. This is a large wooden cross a victim can be tied to using rope or straps etc. Also common are suspension winches. These use a steel cable to lift the victim up, usually after being restrained to the end of a cable looped through a pulley on the ceiling then down to a metal bar. This lifts the victim onto their feet and even off the floor for the master or mistress to do as they want.

In the first dungeon I went into there was a stretching bench. This was basically a medieval rack featuring a lot of black leather. The victim would be strapped down then the wrists and ankles would be pulled in opposite directions to stretch the victim out. I never tried it but I can imagine the effect.

Also in the first dungeon I was in there was a “spine” also known as a “fish-bone harness” which is made up of a leather strap that runs from the neck to the ankles. Affixed to that are about a dozen more wide leather straps that circle the body. For the belt fetishist, the leather fetishist, the bondage from that is particularly good. All those straps circling the body really do have an effect. Over the years, this has sadly proven to be an uncommon device.

Bondage And Fetish Work Together

Self bondage with timed release locks, leather cuffs and other means feed a fetish so well. To escape the real world and immerse yourself into fetish driven bondage is prodfoundly satisfying.

Bondage with willing play partners can add a level of escape and eroticism that is hard to beat.

Locked Bondage Cuffe

What Does Bondage Really Do?

There are a few answers to this. The simple is pretty obvious in that it feels good and relaxing and maybe arousing. But past that, the effects are maybe not so obvious.

It works at many levels. Simply put, bondage makes the victim available, to submit, to become passive and unable to change what is about to happen. This has profound and multiple affects on a person getting deep into their psyche. It changes the way we see the world. It breaks all our conditioning. It forces on us a different world view.

But above all else, it feels good.

Again that is obvious but it misses the real point which is so obvious; bondage releases the victim from control. The victim can only be in bondage and accept what is done and suddenly, especially if gagged and collared, bondage shifts perceptions and is a vastly different experience from real life.

What is often misses is the way bondage is done. This can significantly enhance the experience, feeding fetishes and the needs for submission and or domination. These are all very internal, very person specific, but they are also very real. These are the inner reasons.

For an ‘alpha’ type person in bondage this can be huge. All of a sudden the ability to control is gone, all of a sudden their whole way of life it tipped on its head and they must submit. That submission can get deep inside, deeply affect, and bring about a cathartic release like nothing else.

To be in tight bondage, gagged, collared and unable to move can be punishing. It can hurt after a while with cramps and from being so constricted. All the time you squirm against the restraints but you can’t change the outcome – you are bound to stay, until released.

You submit. You become submissive.

Then when it’s over you feel refreshed and relaxed and happy. Then some time later you need it again because you remember that release, that lifting of tension. At least that is what I

There Are So Many Options

Wrist Bondage

For me it started with tying up my wrists with leather luggage straps. Then I added more to my ankles. Then over the years more was added.

What you do and how you do it is all up to you. Some people like rope, chain, handcuffs etc.

You can do as little or as much as you want of course.

Meditation And Yoga Similarities

I have never done yoga, but I have done meditation over the years.

For me, with a guided meditation session in a group, I found myself almost limp with the deep after effects of just letting go and submerging my personality.

After a good session of bondage I find strong similarities and the words ‘just letting go’ apply equally. I find myself vastly more relaxed and at peace with the world. As I lay in bondage my perceptions change and shrink. There is only the here and now and as I feel the bondage, feeling the leather straps and feel how I am restrained I just regress.

So for me there is a strong similarity to meditation. There is that same sense of release even without any sexual element or orgasmic release.

Corporal In Bondage

So many things work with bondage. Corporal punishment is one such.

This takes it all up a notch and is what I particularly like, or need. I have been having pro-dom BDSM sessions for over fifteen years and they are all about bondage and corporal working together.

At the time in a session when I am in bondage the mistress gives me corporal punishment. She uses straps. tawse, belts, canes on me that leave welts for maybe a week. They aren’t gentle love taps. They are full on corporal punishment. And I love it, I come back for it regularly.

When the session starts I am feeling the bondage, moving against the straps. Then after the first stroke, I feel the burn of the impact, the sting penetrating into me and I’m powerless to change it. I writhe in bondage, feeling the restraint straps and it gets in deeper.

As the session proceeds, this immersion of my head space in submission, into a different reality gets stronger and stronger.

I can’t move in bondage as the mistress gives me corporal punishment, the pain ramps up as I accept it. I feel the bondage, I feel the corporal, and it works so well together.

Then there is a moment when it all fades, the pain “just is there” but is not dominant as I move past it. I transcend it. The pain is just a mechanism I ride to deeper feelings of release and submission as I move inward.

At the end of the session there is usually a caning that cuts deep into me. Each stroke is felt, each is hard and brings me back from my head space, then pushes me back again. As i move against the bondage straps, I accept it, I take it in. Then I push my butt back for the cane and invite more.

Being Gagged And Collared

Where on your body you are bound can change the whole experience significasntly.

I find that gags and collars are partiocularly evocative and affect me significantly.

The soft inner wrists when wrapped with a firm leatheer cuff or a belt feels strong. So can being blindfolded but that is not strong for me – though I can understand it.

Bit I find gags and collars particularly strongly.

A gag stops the ability to control via communication, to change or alter what is happening. When it is strapped into the mouth, unable to be released, it is absolutely an enhancing part of the bondage experience. It makes the victim vulnerable. It forces submission, it goes against and denies what the victim is able to do at all other times, to control and command. It is a strong part of the whole experience, of submission.

Being gagged can be very intrusive and something you cannot get any way else. It can feel like a punishment, it can feel annoying, it can feel so damned strong. You want to talk, to say something and can’t. You can fight it, you push against the gag but you can’t change it.

A collar round the neck gives a feeling of submission and vulnerability. It can be very strong. Putting one on changes everything and particularly after the first few times, it becomes almost a conditioned response. Necks are sensitive both in sensation and also the way they are linked to our sense of vulnerability and survival.

Warning; Anything around the neck is to be careful of as a choking hazard (take this seriously folks) but a collar put on firmly (no, no, no, not tight) seems to focus the mind and strengthen that sense of vulnerability.

Together they multiply the experience. Together, to be collared and gagged feeds the mind, shifts it, feeds the fetish, pushes the senses deeper into the whole experience.

The Self Bondage Experience

This is how I started, and was all I had for many decades. I found it particularly satisfying but also frustrating. Knowing that I could get out of bondage when I wanted went against the whole thing and reduced the excitement.

I did this for decades starting from my very early teens. It happened in a time of zero exposure to the concepts of bondage, to sexuality, to anything of this ilk whatsoever. Yet I did it.

My immediate reaction after I’ve put myself into bondage has been to close my eyes and lay back. My brain seems to slow down, I feel the straps binding me, I feel the gag and the collar, and my world shrinks to my inner self and what is happening. Reality receeds. I like to move against my bindings, to experience them, to acknowledge their presence and that are keeping me in bondage

Since I like wide leather belts, straps, as I move against them I feel the chafing against my skin, and because I loop them together as best I can, moving one moves others and that feels so good. This feeds my feiths and it all works together (a common thing for me).

Yet at the same time I feel like I have expanded, I have pushed myself into a new dimension that has opened up and accepted me.

Most of all, I feel happy, satisfied, complete, home, released, relaxed.

Sexuality And Bondage

There is a huge element of this at times, and at others zero sexual elements of arousal.

It is so common for sex in bondage to be portrayed in film and literature now. Thanks to the Fifty Shaes there is often a reference to kinky sex and usually a partner being in bondage, tied the bed kind of thing, and then an erotic time had. Yay, fun times!

In my BDSM sessions with a mistress I am in bondage for most of the session, there is no orgasm, no touchng, no fondling or other type of sexual arousal stimulation, but there is a lot of corporal punishment.

But in my early days I most certainly did orgasm and my first ever orgasm happened when I tied myself up with leather straps.

Is It Sexual – is it only for sex?

I can only speak for myself. The answer is not clear. It can be both sexual and also non-sexual. As I have got older, the sexual and orgasm elements have reduced.

Sure, I have done a lot of reading. So many people without first hand experience in their lives tend to analyze from the comfort of the easily understood idioms. Choosing a simplistic cover all answer makes “understanding” easy if you say “it is all about sex or sexual gratification” – but I think that’s just superficial and gives the writer a cop-out.

You want a holiday each year, or more often, right? It is nice to get away, de-tox and tune out for a week or two. If you don’t get it, you get cranky and focus on the last holiday and wish for another. Not having bondage in my life causes a similar feeling of angst, or loss, or of something missing. A good bondage session provides a similar level of peace and release to a holiday

Sex may well be at the heart of bondage for me, but I just don’t feel it. Others may read this and think I’m delusional, maybe I am, but I don’t usually get an erection in bondage. I feel a sense of personal release, a lessening of my sense of self, I feel a simple transport out of there here and now. I feel myself focus on the bondage and nothing else unless there is some corporal happening.

If sex were at the heart of my bondage needs I’d have stopped a decade ago.

But there is a stong culture of sex with bondage. The allure of being tied up then used for sex, taken, to give up control and be submissive for a dominant partner can be very strong for many people. And vice versa, to be dominant then tie up your partner sure will have an appeal for many.

To each their own!

But it is more than that and especially for me.

Imagine I said mountain climbing was all about sexual gratification, or scuba diving? Both are absolutely totally immersive in the way participants get into them, they way they engage, the way it sits in their psyche. But I doubt there is any sexual gratification happening. They do however bring a release, a way of relaxing and releasing tension, escaping the real world.

For scuba diving and though I don’t do it, I can almost feel the relaxation of being underwater, deep in the sea, swimming with the life there and experiencing it all. The office, customers, financial issues, relationship issues all fade away. There is only the activity and the experience.

For me bondage started out in a sexual way, but I didn’t realize it initially. It wasn’t a sexual drive that brought me to it, it was more ‘I think I’d like to try this’ kind of thing. To this day and many decades later I still wonder at why I did it that first time. The only answer is ‘it felt good.’

Sure, I had my first orgasm while in self bondage and in my very early teens. It was initially embarrassing to me, I thought I’d wet the bed, but the pleasure drew me back time and again and usually over the next decade or two I did get sexual release. It became sexual.

Over the years bondage became a masturbation aid, a means to get off by myself. Yet it also felt so deeply nice, I felt so happy with it, so fully immersed. But that masturbation faded so that the pure bondage experience in self bondage dominates.

Said in a different way…it was more than sexual and even the first time it was more than just the climax. The climax came out of nowhere and was a total surprise.  I could relax and escape in bondage like in no other way. I felt release from everything, from life, and I felt I really needed it. I felt it was something that I just had to do and couldn’t control that need. Sure I could deny it but that just had adverse effects on me and it festered.

There is Much Bliss In Bondage

There sure is for me.

It can have a level of sexual eroticism working with fetish and sexuality to produce profoundly pleasing experiences.

It can also be experiened outside a sexual setting almost as a therapeutic aid or practice to produce a wondeful release from tension and stress.

Above all else, it can be just plain fun, nice, an experience that is enjoyed.

I hope it is for you.

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New Hand Strapping and Hand Tawsing Post Coming

A Hand Strapping and Hand Tawsing Expose

I received an email, probably spam, from a gentleman who talked about his hand strapping experiences, mostly at school. I had a few too in my time – but nothing compared to now in my sessions.

I strongly suspect it was spam and then promptly ignored it.

But now, after some reflection I decided, why not revisit the whole thing. I’ve written other posts on this topic so, without looking at them, I’ve written a new and rather large blog post on Hand Strapping and Hand Tawsing.

The goal is to give maybe a slightly different perspective and to go into the whole thing from a number of angles.

If you are into hand strapping and hand tawsing, then this will certainly be topical. I’ve also decided to give a little more time to it in my stories.

Revised Hand Strapping and Hand Tawsing Story

I’ve also revised and spell corrected some of the errors in the Session Training story.

This is a self-hand strapping and hand-tawsing story that then morphes into domestic discipline along with some lovely belt fetish and bondage.

The second part has been updated but is, sorry, woefully incomplete.  It needs some work which I hope to do over the coming days. I’m feeling the protagonist is in for a torrid time under the leather.

Upcoming Stories

I’ve been woefully slow in publishing stories, but not in writing them. I have SO MANY on the back burner that finishing one of them to put into this blog is challenging to choose.

The Riding Academy series is looking promising. It is only 4 major chapters with chapter-2 looking promising and easy to sinish soon. I shall revise part-1 then add the new chapter in the coming weeks.

Riding Academy is kind of a best of breed fantasy for me, the whole bondage, discipline then used for relief of a dominatrix has massive appeal.

On the “solo” topic, I have a lovely story coming, “Naughty Solo Nancy” that goes into the self bondage and discipline themes with has some nice fetish twists. If any of that interestes you, tell me! I’ll speed it up.

So. With the best of intentions I shall try to publis more, soon.

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You might have mail – Check your Spam folder

Silent Quivers - Check Your Spam

If you email us, please check your spam for our replies. We’ll put Silent Quivers in the subject field, or similar for you to find it.

Just last week I got a very pleasing email from a reader. He asked me to reply, which I did. He also asked to reply a few times in case his spam catcher binner my reply into his spam folder.

So far I’ve replied 3 times and no response?

Did he get it? Did the spam catcher bin me?

Spam

Amusing. With another website I curate, I’d forgotten some basic settings. When I came back after a few months there were literally over 35,000 spam messages. I had to download a special tool to delete them. any valid emails in there would have been lost.

That was damned annoying and why I hate spammers. It is also why if we get our emails binned, we understand. That’s life!

Play happy

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Session Mistakes – Tawse and Belt Fetish

Rookie Mistakes in a BDSM Session

I made 2 mistakes in my last BDSM session. Both were totally my mistake and both speak to the deepest inner needs, my ability to communicate them and how I interact with the mistress.

Assumptions Do Not Make Good BDSM Sessions.

Both mistakes were because of my poor pre-session discussion with mistress.

Hand Strapping And Tawsing

Hand strapping and tawsing is a thing for me.

In every session at the start of the session I kneel in front of mistress then she uses a succession of straps and tawses on me.

Each feels different. Mistress progresses through the mild school strap, to the more stinging straps, to the more mild tawse and then the super painful XH Lochgelly replica.

All parts of the experience are special.

Ms Tawse

‘HANDS UP,’ she demands. Then up close and personal the tawse descends.

Mistress standing in front of me, telling me she is going to strap me, telling me she is going to taws me is special.

She tells me to hold out my hand then she applies the strap or tawse, slowly, carefully, with plenty of tease.  She is close, right in front of me and the imagery, the whole scene is hugely BDSM fetish erotic.

For me with the mistress wearing wide leather belts, this is a core part of every session.

AND I FORGOT to ask mistress for this in my last session. How stupid was that! It was my assumption.

A Mistress in Wide Leather Belts

At the start of session, mistress put on my wide belts. One went round her waist, the other like a bandolier over her shoulders then running down between her breasts to sit on a hip.

It is a great image, and she did it the same way on the previous session in November 2020.

Huge Brown Belt

Is there any such thing as a ‘too wide belt’?

My mistake was in not asking her to put the belt back on after she used it. She was wearing a leatheer corset which looked great, but the belts made it look even better to me.

In the previous session, she took a belt off, told me how hard she was going to use it, told me I was going to get a belting, the strapping of my life… then she did it. After that she folded the belt in half and put it onto a bench. After she’d used both, she was belt-less.

Exactly the same happened in this session. It was fantastic and I’ll abslutely be asking for that again, but the belt on the bench was a fail.

Pre-Session Discussion Fail

So you see I made two mistakes and both were in the pre-session discussion. With 16 years of experience, I fell for this rookie mistake. I assumed.

I didn’t put enough emphasis on the pre-session discussion.

When I enter the establishment I talk with mistress for a few minutes and we discuss what I want to happen. She inputs some ideas, clarifies some points, then we move to the dungeon and it happens.

For this session I’d been fixating on a cold caning and a cold prison strapping. Mistress on hearing this was quite rightly wanting to know more of what I’d been thinking so we discussed it more than anything else in the session. A cold caning really does require a lot of commitment to the whole BDSM thing and there is a lot of trust required.

So two assumptions were made; mistress assumed the hand strapping and tawsing at the start were to be skipped and I’d be straight into suspension for the cold caning and strapping. I assumed mistress would give me the hand strapping and tawsing I’d had with her in every other session.

The other mistake I made was in not asking mistress to put the belt she was using  back on after using it.

Why did I not ask this? She’d done it last session. I should have known she would repeat.

The Pre-Session Discussion Is Difficult

I like the mistress. She gives me such excellent strappings, tawsings and canings. And doesn’t that sound strange!

Mistress works hard, she takes the session seriously and she makes every effort to make it special. She makes me feel there is something of a bond between us, a connection. Having that feeling is a delight.

But even with that connection and even after 16 years of having regular sessions I find the pre-session discussion difficult.

Part of it is my decades of secrecy asserting itself. I am so used to keeping this whole thing secret, I struggle to tell anyone about it.

It is also because I don’t want to be too specific, taking away spontaneity which really can be super special.

I want the session to be spontaneous, yet I want specific things. Clearly this poses a problem. Mistress is not a mind reader, much as I wish it.

I feel that in making too many suggestions to mistress, I don’t want to disrespecting or be criticising her. If I tell her something she can do better, I don’t want her to think she had made a huge mistake in a previous session.

Rules For A Great BDSM Session

A well equipped BDSM dungeon offers so many options for your session.

Mistress will also have ideas and options. She will be experienced and have personal preferences.

But it is your session.

But how do you get the best possible session?

The BDSM Dungeon

So many options!

In writing this, I am saying to myself what I should be doing, not necessarily what I have done in the past. But it is based on years of experience and introspection.

Rule-1 – Plan your session. Break it up into just a few parts. Keep it simple! I have a “start”, “middle split in two” then an “end part.”

Rule-2 – keep it brief yet succinct. Give mistress an outline and highlights for each part of the session. You must say what you want, and what you don’t want.

Rule-3 – assume nothing. Even if it has happened in every previous session, and you want it, request it. If you don’t ask it is likely you won’t receive it.

Rule-4 – mistress is not a mind reader. Plan your session. Go back to Rule-1.

Have a great session!

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Session Booked for 25th March 2021

All day I was thinking of making the call. As the day wore on I put my hand out a few times to make the call, then I pulled it back. Yes, I wimped out.

It was just so deeply…what?…scary?… Exciting?… Challenging?… Intimate?

I think it was all of the above. And more. It does bring that Silent Quiver in me.

Making The Decision

I’d been thinking of having another session for at least the last month. All that time it has been growing within me, pulling me forward.

I’ve felt my state of mind being fragile, liable to snap at people, tense and getting tension headaches. That is not me. Something was wroing and it was noticed.

Then it all fell into place.

This morning as I was talking to my wife, I told her how I feel. She nodded and commented that she’d seen the way I’ve been, then she actually suggested I have a session. She didn’t want to know the details, just that if I need it, then I should have it.

Then as I was closing the shop, after all the staff had left, I did it. I touched the phone then made the call. I booked my next BDSM session.

The Excitement

Have you ever had that feeling of excitement when you make a phone call that almost makes you quiver when you dial the numbers. Then when it rings you worry, will it be answered or not? Then you almost hope it won’t be answered because that will be a moment of truth when you have to cross a line, admit something, do something?

Then when it answers it is exciting. Thrilling almost.

That’s how I felt when it was answered.

So then it progressed the same as the many dozens of other such calls has; the reception person asked about the type of session, who I was wanting to book a session with, when, and the duration. She asked if I’d seen that mistress before then when it was all setup she asked me to confirm on the day. All good.

After this I sent a short email to the mistress. I am sure she has many other calls on her time so I don’t want to place a burden on her. Time is money after all and she has a life. I told her when I’d booked and said I hoped all was going well in her life.

I’ve also got a cunning plan to have a night out after the session, visit a quiet secluded cafe, have a dinner and document the session.

Comparing The Before To The After

There was a very big difference to how I felt before I booked the session, to how I felt afterwards. It was like a switch had been flicked inside me.

Previous to the phone call I’d been consumed with the thought of booking the session. I needed it, I had all the contradictory feelings of wanting it, but because it is so deeply personal to me, it felt such an intimate thing that making the call felt difficult.

Then after the call I felt relieved, relaxed and happy. I’d done something that I know I needed.

That then leaves what I want to happen in the session. I’ve mentioned some ideas in previous posts which I will think about over the coming few days.

I just need to make my mind up what I’ll be asking for in the session. The last one had been spectacularly good, the mistress really was excellent and based on over 15 years of experience, that is a high recommendation. I’d like that again, but a cold caning and prison strapping are calling me as well. Decisions, decisions!

So, only 2 sleeps to my next session!

Stay tuned for the write-up.

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BDSM Wants Versus Needs

We Only Do What We Want To Do

Sure, we live life this way. We make easy decisions based on our experience, our feelings at the moment, our common sense and above all else, our emotions.

Wants are very powerful. We follow them. We want something, we go out of our way to get it.

Needs are less tangible

We go to the dentist, we are told to floss more.

We go to the doctor and are told to lose weight, eat better and get more exercise..

We know we need to do these things, but do we? Flossing takes time, and the doctors suggestion bring self denial and effort. We do’t want that. Which one wins out?

But we know we need to do these things. It’s obvious to us., our logical self knows this.

BDSM Wants Versus Needs

BDSM throws in an extra consideration, an extra dimension into this struggle between needs and wants.

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When Vanilla Fights Kink

Time and Kink

It’s now seven weeks since my last session, a session that was 13 months after the one previous to that.

Then I felt all those concerns, questions, self doubts about having a session and how I would feel. Was it still me? It was like I was a newbie once again. But as soon as I entered the dungeon, I was back and I knew I needed it.

After the session I realized that nothing had changed, it was part of me and probably will for ever be. Oer the weeks, I went through that time of being satisfied, my thirst for kink slaked,  but time passed.

Now with the flux of time, my needs are again flaring. I feel an increasing need another session – and so as per usual my Vanilla Self and my Kink Self are battling.

Time and fetish

Contradictions Are The Problem.

I know that. I envy the Vanilla crowd  going about their daily life un -conflicted and without this disjoint inside them. For them there is no conflict, no secret passion, no inner turmoil or discussion about ‘is this for me‘ and ‘why do I do it‘ happening.

Inside me my logical Vanilla Self battles with my Kink Self asking all those questions; ‘why do you do this‘ and ‘isn’t your need for corporal punishment and bondage the most strange thing in the world?‘

At work I am dominant, with staff taking my instructions, all of us working together for the corporate might. At home I am the father figure, providing, co-leading and co-parenting a family. I am hardly ever submissive, rather I live with discussion and negotiation and defined roles.

My kink self turns this 180 degrees around. I take a sharp U-turn into the submission of bondage and corporal punishment. It fits so strongly within me, key-holing into a part of me I am forever surprised exists.

These contradictions within myself, these differences in my life bring conflict. I have an inner discussion; one part rejecting, another part accepting and wanting.

And it all changes with time.

Immediately after a session I feel relaxed and in a state of being deeply at ease with the world, having an  inner rock solid balance. There is a near cathartic release in the sessions I have, the effects profound and deep.

Then time passes. My viewpoints change.

I remember the session. My Vanilla Self sees me being in bondage, straps binding me tightly as I’m bent over a bench. My Vanilla Self sees the mistress with the hugely scary prison strap delivering a strapping to me, cracking that strap down time and again with me pushing my butt back to her, inviting it down. And my Vanilla Self does not understand. It does not feel the need, share the acceptance and release I get. It rejects those things and talks only from logic and reason with the Vanilla Blinkers on.

My Vanilla Self recoils at the strangeness of it all. My Vanilla Self gets a voice, a voice of logic and reason shouts out, demanding to be heard, asking questions and bringing self doubt.

And what a strident clamour it is. What a good description. That Vanilla Voice shouts out about how strange the session is from a logical standpoint while ignoring what it really is; part of me.

Then with a little more time, as in like right now, my Vanilla Self recedes into the background -or- it understands that my Kink Self really does need this so the Vanilla Voice eases up its strident clamour.

So now my Kink Self needs attention, demands action and wants the release of a session.

So Where Is The Need Coming From?

As I said, it is within me. But it changes. It morphs, it dies down then flares up. It can smolder with little heat in it, and at other times it flares into an incandescent fury like the sun.

My perceptions change with time. When it is near dormant it all feels strange and scary. When it flares, it pulls and calls and feels like the most natural of things. My perceptions change dramatically.

So why? Why now? Why does it change?

Time is the simple answer but behind that are the causes.

Stress, tension, the way I am inside all add and if anything, multiply my needs. I can go weeks or months between sessions and feel little need. Then when the pieces of my life conspire, I need another session and quickly.

Accepting That I Need A Session

Self honesty can be so difficult, so elusive. A problem is that it doesn’t feel like it will provide the instant gratification it should. I can;t shout my needs out to the world, let it all out, as it is too ingrained in me to do that.

Deluding myself, avoiding and denial come naturally to me. I am an expert at that with decades of successful (ignoring the effects) practice at it. They are less challenging and pander to my Vanilla Self – but they are destructive. They make the pressure build. I know that, yet I still do it. Thus is a contradiction of self.

But accepting I need a session is a definite time.

Before this, a session might happen some time in the future. After this, it will be happening soon. I have mad emy mind up. I put a date on it. I move toward it.

Getting to this point takes time, at least a few weeks after a session. Right now, it is about 7 weeks – and I’ve felt this way, that I need a session, for at least a week.

Soon, please make it soon, I will book the session and hence a date will be set.

After Acceptance Come Planning The Session

There are only two questions; when will it happen and what will happen.

The when is the most straightforward. Next week I say to myself.

The what is more complicated. I’ve had so many sessions and they have been so alike because that is what Ive asked for and what I’m drawn to. Sure, there are differences, different mistresses, differences in the corporal and bondage yet they are still very similar.

I’m feeling like I want something new.

I did a training session with an apprentice mistress some time ago, and that was ok. I found interacting with her, advising, talking, brought me back from sub-space which I didn’t want, but the session was still great as it was different. The trainee mistress was lovely and it was nice to interact like that in a session. A common theme for me is acceptance, so interacting with someone else in a session spoke to that.

Years ago a particularly striking (pun intended) dominatrix gave me some cold caning and cold prison strapping sessions. She was challenging at the least of times, with those cold-sessions she pushed me to my limits. I feel like doing that again. It has been a while. The mistress I’m seeing now has her own prison strap, maybe we can do a cold-strapping comparison. That would be interesting.

More thought required. I’ll document this next session also.

Till then – play safe, play happy, play as often as you let yourself.

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Welcome to 2021

Happy New Year - Welcome to 2021

New Year Eve 2021

Probably no year in living memory has been as hard for as many people as 2020 has been. But now, almost 2 weeks into 2021, there is some hope for normality to break out again. We have Covid vaccines being rolled out, a new President to contend with and with just a little love, an economy promising to revive to its pre-Covid glory.

With heart felt sincerity – please have a safe, happy and prosperous 2021 no matter who or where you are.

Silent Quivers Goals for 2021

SilentQuivers Website – I don’t see a great change in direction. I’d like to add more stories and more often and to expand in all directions.

A big problem with stories is that I don’t much like the story posting in the blog concept. I’d much rather a dedicated stories page. I am yet to find that solution.

Personally – I can feel myself getting older making me want to make the most of my time. At the same time I feel my precious preconceived ideas causing guilt fading slightly and acceptance of my kink improving.

I want to indulge in more sessions but also to have some changes, some new things, some new ideas added to those sessions. In 2020 I had one session, in 2018 I had 2. In some years prior I had about 10 – I think I can surely have at least a few this year.

I feel I want to work more on acceptance and my sense of self. So often in 2019 and 2020 this struggled in the battle between my kink and vanilla lives.

Stories – I have so many more chapters to come;

Millennial Discipline Contract story is just needing a little cleanup and to fill in some blanks. I do like this story, hitting as it does my significant need for femdom corporal.

Riding Academy really has expanded past the first chapter. There are about 50,000 words just waiting some touch up. Annoyingly, I lost the last chapter- so there were some lessons learned from that.

Cyber Red Wire – (no chapters published yet) is more a full on sex-romance with some fetish and BDSM thrown in than the other way round. This too has grown hugely and for lovers of some action between the sheets, a good read.

Strapubus – I loved this story and I need to add another chapter or two.

Rat Creek Reformatory – I have a 2nd chapter started but nowhere near finished. I loved this concept and want to add at least one chapter in 2021.

Forum  – No. It’s not happening. I looked closely at this but the time and effort required were just plain too much. Considering the amount of spam and phishing attempts I get now, adding a forum would comsume far too much time. Plus there has been an underwhelming response to the idea.

So welcome to 2021. Lets all enjoy the year.