Session Mistakes – Tawse and Belt Fetish

Rookie Mistakes in a BDSM Session

I made 2 mistakes in my last BDSM session. Both were totally my mistake and both speak to the deepest inner needs, my ability to communicate them and how I interact with the mistress.

Assumptions Do Not Make Good BDSM Sessions.

Both mistakes were because of my poor pre-session discussion with mistress.

Hand Strapping And Tawsing

Hand strapping and tawsing is a thing for me.

In every session at the start of the session I kneel in front of mistress then she uses a succession of straps and tawses on me.

Each feels different. Mistress progresses through the mild school strap, to the more stinging straps, to the more mild tawse and then the super painful XH Lochgelly replica.

All parts of the experience are special.

Ms Tawse

‘HANDS UP,’ she demands. Then up close and personal the tawse descends.

Mistress standing in front of me, telling me she is going to strap me, telling me she is going to taws me is special.

She tells me to hold out my hand then she applies the strap or tawse, slowly, carefully, with plenty of tease.  She is close, right in front of me and the imagery, the whole scene is hugely BDSM fetish erotic.

For me with the mistress wearing wide leather belts, this is a core part of every session.

AND I FORGOT to ask mistress for this in my last session. How stupid was that! It was my assumption.

A Mistress in Wide Leather Belts

At the start of session, mistress put on my wide belts. One went round her waist, the other like a bandolier over her shoulders then running down between her breasts to sit on a hip.

It is a great image, and she did it the same way on the previous session in November 2020.

Huge Brown Belt

Is there any such thing as a ‘too wide belt’?

My mistake was in not asking her to put the belt back on after she used it. She was wearing a leatheer corset which looked great, but the belts made it look even better to me.

In the previous session, she took a belt off, told me how hard she was going to use it, told me I was going to get a belting, the strapping of my life… then she did it. After that she folded the belt in half and put it onto a bench. After she’d used both, she was belt-less.

Exactly the same happened in this session. It was fantastic and I’ll abslutely be asking for that again, but the belt on the bench was a fail.

Pre-Session Discussion Fail

So you see I made two mistakes and both were in the pre-session discussion. With 16 years of experience, I fell for this rookie mistake. I assumed.

I didn’t put enough emphasis on the pre-session discussion.

When I enter the establishment I talk with mistress for a few minutes and we discuss what I want to happen. She inputs some ideas, clarifies some points, then we move to the dungeon and it happens.

For this session I’d been fixating on a cold caning and a cold prison strapping. Mistress on hearing this was quite rightly wanting to know more of what I’d been thinking so we discussed it more than anything else in the session. A cold caning really does require a lot of commitment to the whole BDSM thing and there is a lot of trust required.

So two assumptions were made; mistress assumed the hand strapping and tawsing at the start were to be skipped and I’d be straight into suspension for the cold caning and strapping. I assumed mistress would give me the hand strapping and tawsing I’d had with her in every other session.

The other mistake I made was in not asking mistress to put the belt she was using  back on after using it.

Why did I not ask this? She’d done it last session. I should have known she would repeat.

The Pre-Session Discussion Is Difficult

I like the mistress. She gives me such excellent strappings, tawsings and canings. And doesn’t that sound strange!

Mistress works hard, she takes the session seriously and she makes every effort to make it special. She makes me feel there is something of a bond between us, a connection. Having that feeling is a delight.

But even with that connection and even after 16 years of having regular sessions I find the pre-session discussion difficult.

Part of it is my decades of secrecy asserting itself. I am so used to keeping this whole thing secret, I struggle to tell anyone about it.

It is also because I don’t want to be too specific, taking away spontaneity which really can be super special.

I want the session to be spontaneous, yet I want specific things. Clearly this poses a problem. Mistress is not a mind reader, much as I wish it.

I feel that in making too many suggestions to mistress, I don’t want to disrespecting or be criticising her. If I tell her something she can do better, I don’t want her to think she had made a huge mistake in a previous session.

Rules For A Great BDSM Session

A well equipped BDSM dungeon offers so many options for your session.

Mistress will also have ideas and options. She will be experienced and have personal preferences.

But it is your session.

But how do you get the best possible session?

The BDSM Dungeon

So many options!

In writing this, I am saying to myself what I should be doing, not necessarily what I have done in the past. But it is based on years of experience and introspection.

Rule-1Plan your session. Break it up into just a few parts. Keep it simple! I have a “start”, “middle split in two” then an “end part.”

Rule-2keep it brief yet succinct. Give mistress an outline and highlights for each part of the session. You must say what you want, and what you don’t want.

Rule-3assume nothing. Even if it has happened in every previous session, and you want it, request it. If you don’t ask it is likely you won’t receive it.

Rule-4 – mistress is not a mind reader. Plan your session. Go back to Rule-1.

Have a great session!

Session Booked for 25th March 2021

All day I was thinking of making the call. As the day wore on I put my hand out a few times to make the call, then I pulled it back. Yes, I wimped out.

It was just so deeply…what?…scary?… Exciting?… Challenging?… Intimate?

I think it was all of the above. And more. It does bring that Silent Quiver in me.

Making The Decision

I’d been thinking of having another session for at least the last month. All that time it has been growing within me, pulling me forward.

I’ve felt my state of mind being fragile, liable to snap at people, tense and getting tension headaches. That is not me. Something was wroing and it was noticed.

Then it all fell into place.

This morning as I was talking to my wife, I told her how I feel. She nodded and commented that she’d seen the way I’ve been, then she actually suggested I have a session. She didn’t want to know the details, just that if I need it, then I should have it.

Then as I was closing the shop, after all the staff had left, I did it. I touched the phone then made the call. I booked my next BDSM session.

The Excitement

Have you ever had that feeling of excitement when you make a phone call that almost makes you quiver when you dial the numbers. Then when it rings you worry, will it be answered or not? Then you almost hope it won’t be answered because that will be a moment of truth when you have to cross a line, admit something, do something?

Then when it answers it is exciting. Thrilling almost.

That’s how I felt when it was answered.

So then it progressed the same as the many dozens of other such calls has; the reception person asked about the type of session, who I was wanting to book a session with, when, and the duration. She asked if I’d seen that mistress before then when it was all setup she asked me to confirm on the day. All good.

After this I sent a short email to the mistress. I am sure she has many other calls on her time so I don’t want to place a burden on her. Time is money after all and she has a life. I told her when I’d booked and said I hoped all was going well in her life.

I’ve also got a cunning plan to have a night out after the session, visit a quiet secluded cafe, have a dinner and document the session.

Comparing The Before To The After

There was a very big difference to how I felt before I booked the session, to how I felt afterwards. It was like a switch had been flicked inside me.

Previous to the phone call I’d been consumed with the thought of booking the session. I needed it, I had all the contradictory feelings of wanting it, but because it is so deeply personal to me, it felt such an intimate thing that making the call felt difficult.

Then after the call I felt relieved, relaxed and happy. I’d done something that I know I needed.

That then leaves what I want to happen in the session. I’ve mentioned some ideas in previous posts which I will think about over the coming few days.

I just need to make my mind up what I’ll be asking for in the session. The last one had been spectacularly good, the mistress really was excellent and based on over 15 years of experience, that is a high recommendation. I’d like that again, but a cold caning and prison strapping are calling me as well. Decisions, decisions!

So, only 2 sleeps to my next session!

Stay tuned for the write-up.

Next BDSM Session Angst

It's Been Far Too Long

Soon after my last session I wanted another.

Then after 2 months I was deeply wanting my next session.

Now as the weeks crawled past that desire rises and falls but generally rises more than it falls. The allure of the leather mistress putting me in bondage and giving me corporal punishment in the BDSM dungeon only increases with time.

It doesn’t matter how severe the corporal is, how marked up I am, or how long the bruises take to go away, I want it again. And I want more.

One thing that consumes me is that the last session was so good, and how could I make the next session even better.

It feels silly saying that as you can only be tied up and given heavy corporal so many ways. But options do exist!

The Allure Of The New

Since I’ve been having similar sessions for 15+ years, finding points of difference, finding elements to make a session unique is not easy.

But still the idea of new things brings its own special excitement.

A year or so ago I had a training session with an apprentice to show her amd give her a chance to apply heavy corporal and that was sort of OK. It wasn’t as heavy as I wanted and in interacting with the apprentice it pulled me back from sub-space but it was overall a good once-off type of session. In fact, interacting with someone else in the session felt very good at an acceptance level, that I could be there and doing that and yet it was all fine and they wanted to make sure it was good for me. That’s a privilege I don’t take lightly.

But now I’m wanting another session. More and more.

Something Special For Mistress

On a whim, and because she really is very lovely, I had a strap custom made as a present for the mistress I see.

It is a copy of the off-billet strap I’ve had for a few years. I phoned around and could not find a leather one anywhere so I had to get it made by copying mine. In these modern times nylon has become much more the norm for this piece of saddlery. Where is the kink, the fetish in nylon? Nope, none in there at all!

The off-billet strap is two inches across and eighteen inches long when folded over (so it is three feet long) and is made of very heavy leather. Every mistress who has used it has commented at what a lovely piece of leather it is. It almost aches to be picked up and run through the hands. And for the leather lover, its scent is rather nice.

The off-billet strap is one of the more painful implements I have and it does work so very well for corporal. In fact, when given hard the difference from the prison strap is not that great.

Some time ago I had one of these made for a previous mistress who has since left the scene. I asked her if she’d had a chance to use it, some sessions later. She said she had and her client had squealed, and she liked that. She said it with a smile and gleaming eyes.

She was a tall powerful mistress, somewhat Amazonian and did love the whole corporal thing. Hence my present of this strap. She was the mistress who after my first session with her had some muscle pain the next day, so she got a personal trainer at the gym to target those muscles for development.

The image of her in a tight leather catsuit pulled down to the waist, wearing a black bra and using that off-billet strap is not something I’ll forget. That thought lingers….

The Contradiction Flares

Looking at it, holding that strap, I feel like suggesting it can be used in two ways; doubled over as is, or remove the retaining thong and use it ‘singled’ like the end of a belt to make it less thuddy and more stinging.

The leather is so very thick, it would be effective when used as a single length, more so than for most belts. It could be wrapped round the fist, again like a belt to get the length just right, for the end to be used for a strapping.

Doesn’t that sound strange? I’m suggesting the best way to be punished, to be strapped.

I had something quite severe made as a gift for a dominatrix to use to beat me with, and have thought about how it can best be used and the types of pain it will bring. But it’s true. It is a lovely piece of leather I hope will be appreciated.

And this is the contradiction.

For me the association of pain with BDSM, about the session and the dominatrix is not as per most people’s perceptions. For me it is a small part. I don’t feel shame, or anxiety, or revulsion or regret. It is just something to be dealt with in the total context of the session.

But I feel the utter strangeness of it all.

The more I think about the pain of corporal punishment the less certain I am about what it is that draws me back.

It is pretty much the ultimate contradiction for people to try to understand.

Taking Corporal Further

Another option I find hard to resist is asking for a cold caning and or a cold prison strapping. Again and a first with this mistress. I think she would do it very well and I seem to remember she mentioned it once.

Should I have both the cold caning and the prison strapping? Or just one of them?

And if both, which one to have first? And since Mistress has her own Canadian Prison Strap, and I have one, should she use both, and in what order? Should she maybe give me six of the very best of the cane, then six of the best with one prison strap, then the same again with other? Then repeat? That has an appeal. It has a recurring appeal.

Then after this, what? Maybe revert to the traditional belting and strapping we have? That sounds about right.

Oh. For those not in the know, a ‘cold’ type corporal punishment session is when corporal punishment of the more severe type happens first, before a warm up with less severe implements.

The effect of this is that it’s felt deeper without the warm, up. It cuts deeper. It is more punishing.

A warm up heats the skin so it can accept more discipline and also desensitizes the skin as well so heavy discipline after is more easily accepted.

The warm up gets you used to the corporal gradually.

So in the absence of a warm up a ‘cold’ type session is much more severe, coming close to the even more severe ‘Judicial’ type of corporal punishment which has its own (scary) appeal to me.

My Last Cold Prison Strapping and Caning

Cold prison strapping and caning sessions are super challenging.

I know, I remember them well.

Do I ever. They were a few years prior from an energetic mistress so I remember it rather well.

The session started off with my wrists strapped into leather cuffs, attached to a suspension bar so I was standing tall and I was gagged. My legs had plenty of straps wrapping them in bondage so I couldn’t move them.

I was an excellent target. I had no choice in the matter. It was happening.

Getting a caning and a strapping like this, in bondage and particularly with the legs bound  means you can’t move. If the legs aren’t bound then the natural tendancy is to lift then, to shift, to dance and kick from side to side as the pain kicks in. I find having them bound adds nicely to the whole experience.

Bondage adds a kind of submission to the whole experience. The more the better. It makes me accept it better. It pushes me deeper.

Then the mistress took up the Canadian Prison Strap, stood behind and to one side of me holding it between her hands ready to use. She was ready. It was going to happen. I can promise that the sight of a leather dominatrix with a huge prison strap in her hands, with me presented in bondage and gagged, is a very special experience.

Just looking at the tableau in the mirror says it all. My goodness, I wish I had a photo!

Oh dear. Writing that and thinking about it makes it all the more desirable.

Then it happens.

When the strapping starts, or the caning, the first stroke hits like lightning. The bum is totally fresh, white and unblemished, not yet christened by any leather. The first pain is the greatest. It is new and consuming.

My eyes close to slits, I stand on tip toe, I tense up, and my head goes back, the gag fills my mouth and I feel its presence, silencing the shout.

I remember reading erotic fiction that said the un-caned bottom was a clean parchment for the mistress to make her mark on.

Anyway, that first stroke feeling is a mix between deep burn and a crashing stinging thud against the butt. The strength of the impact pushes me forward, pulling me forcibly out of the here and now and fixating me on the pain and the experience.

Then the delay is spell binding. I’m trying to surmount the sting, trying to accept and get on top of it, then the corporal-ballet behind me repeats as the next stroke cracks down and so it follows. Inexorably, the strokes follow one another, sending me deeper into sub space, filling me, removing me from the here and how.

Being able to take this level of heavy corporal is both scary and exciting in all the typically contradictory ways.

Being made to take it is even more of the same.

I remember one German mistress I had taking significant delight in giving me a cold prison strapping. She didn’t mind that at all. I don’t think it was from a pure sadism or an anger perspective, I think she just enjoyed the activity and doing it with someone who was accepting and embracing.

The whole corporal punishment thing is a shared activity, the mistress and her client together making it work. Yes it seems strange but at the end of the day it is something that is wanted at so many different levels.

A Session With A Visitor

I’m giving this some thought. I suspect I have a touch of an exhibitionist streak.

The training session I had with an apprentice mistress was mildly successful, but not great. I enjoyed it, it was new and different and those things are always good.

But I’m now thinking about if I should, or can, invite a new apprentice into the session to view heavy corporal as I take it. It is not a training session, it is a demonstration session. She can participate if she wants to, or not.

That has some appeal.

The One Decision That Matters

When will my next session be? That is the real question.

I want it soon. I want it now. I want it sooner than now.

So many decisions!

Since my last session blog post was so successful, I’ll document my next also. From the above, I’ll have a lot to write about.

Play safe, play happy, play hard.

BDSM Wants Versus Needs

We Only Do What We Want To Do

Sure, we live life this way. We make easy decisions based on our experience, our feelings at the moment, our common sense and above all else, our emotions.

Wants are very powerful. We follow them. We want something, we go out of our way to get it.

Needs are less tangible

We go to the dentist, we are told to floss more.

We go to the doctor and are told to lose weight, eat better and get more exercise..

We know we need to do these things, but do we? Flossing takes time, and the doctors suggestion bring self denial and effort. We do’t want that. Which one wins out?

But we know we need to do these things. It’s obvious to us., our logical self knows this.

BDSM Wants Versus Needs

BDSM throws in an extra consideration, an extra dimension into this struggle between needs and wants.

When Vanilla Fights Kink

Time and Kink

It’s now seven weeks since my last session, a session that was 13 months after the one previous to that.

Then I felt all those concerns, questions, self doubts about having a session and how I would feel. Was it still me? It was like I was a newbie once again. But as soon as I entered the dungeon, I was back and I knew I needed it.

After the session I realized that nothing had changed, it was part of me and probably will for ever be. Oer the weeks, I went through that time of being satisfied, my thirst for kink slaked,  but time passed.

Now with the flux of time, my needs are again flaring. I feel an increasing need another session – and so as per usual my Vanilla Self and my Kink Self are battling.

Time and fetish

Contradictions Are The Problem.

I know that. I envy the Vanilla crowd  going about their daily life un -conflicted and without this disjoint inside them. For them there is no conflict, no secret passion, no inner turmoil or discussion about ‘is this for me‘ and ‘why do I do it‘ happening.

Inside me my logical Vanilla Self battles with my Kink Self asking all those questions; ‘why do you do this‘ and ‘isn’t your need for corporal punishment and bondage the most strange thing in the world?

At work I am dominant, with staff taking my instructions, all of us working together for the corporate might. At home I am the father figure, providing, co-leading and co-parenting a family. I am hardly ever submissive, rather I live with discussion and negotiation and defined roles.

My kink self turns this 180 degrees around. I take a sharp U-turn into the submission of bondage and corporal punishment. It fits so strongly within me, key-holing into a part of me I am forever surprised exists.

These contradictions within myself, these differences in my life bring conflict. I have an inner discussion; one part rejecting, another part accepting and wanting.

And it all changes with time.

Immediately after a session I feel relaxed and in a state of being deeply at ease with the world, having an  inner rock solid balance. There is a near cathartic release in the sessions I have, the effects profound and deep.

Then time passes. My viewpoints change.

I remember the session. My Vanilla Self sees me being in bondage, straps binding me tightly as I’m bent over a bench. My Vanilla Self sees the mistress with the hugely scary prison strap delivering a strapping to me, cracking that strap down time and again with me pushing my butt back to her, inviting it down. And my Vanilla Self does not understand. It does not feel the need, share the acceptance and release I get. It rejects those things and talks only from logic and reason with the Vanilla Blinkers on.

My Vanilla Self recoils at the strangeness of it all. My Vanilla Self gets a voice, a voice of logic and reason shouts out, demanding to be heard, asking questions and bringing self doubt.

And what a strident clamour it is. What a good description. That Vanilla Voice shouts out about how strange the session is from a logical standpoint while ignoring what it really is; part of me.

Then with a little more time, as in like right now, my Vanilla Self recedes into the background -or- it understands that my Kink Self really does need this so the Vanilla Voice eases up its strident clamour.

So now my Kink Self needs attention, demands action and wants the release of a session.

So Where Is The Need Coming From?

As I said, it is within me. But it changes. It morphs, it dies down then flares up. It can smolder with little heat in it, and at other times it flares into an incandescent fury like the sun.

My perceptions change with time. When it is near dormant it all feels strange and scary. When it flares, it pulls and calls and feels like the most natural of things. My perceptions change dramatically.

So why? Why now? Why does it change?

Time is the simple answer but behind that are the causes.

Stress, tension, the way I am inside all add and if anything, multiply my needs. I can go weeks or months between sessions and feel little need. Then when the pieces of my life conspire, I need another session and quickly.

Accepting That I Need A Session

Self honesty can be so difficult, so elusive. A problem is that it doesn’t feel like it will provide the instant gratification it should. I can;t shout my needs out to the world, let it all out, as it is too ingrained in me to do that.

Deluding myself, avoiding and denial come naturally to me. I am an expert at that with decades of successful (ignoring the effects) practice at it. They are less challenging and pander to my Vanilla Self – but they are destructive. They make the pressure build. I know that, yet I still do it. Thus is a contradiction of self.

But accepting I need a session is a definite time.

Before this, a session might happen some time in the future. After this, it will be happening soon. I have mad emy mind up. I put a date on it. I move toward it.

Getting to this point takes time, at least a few weeks after a session. Right now, it is about 7 weeks – and I’ve felt this way, that I need a session, for at least a week.

Soon, please make it soon, I will book the session and hence a date will be set.

After Acceptance Come Planning The Session

There are only two questions; when will it happen and what will happen.

The when is the most straightforward. Next week I say to myself.

The what is more complicated. I’ve had so many sessions and they have been so alike because that is what Ive asked for and what I’m drawn to. Sure, there are differences, different mistresses, differences in the corporal and bondage yet they are still very similar.

I’m feeling like I want something new.

I did a training session with an apprentice mistress some time ago, and that was ok. I found interacting with her, advising, talking, brought me back from sub-space which I didn’t want, but the session was still great as it was different. The trainee mistress was lovely and it was nice to interact like that in a session. A common theme for me is acceptance, so interacting with someone else in a session spoke to that.

Years ago a particularly striking (pun intended) dominatrix gave me some cold caning and cold prison strapping sessions. She was challenging at the least of times, with those cold-sessions she pushed me to my limits. I feel like doing that again. It has been a while. The mistress I’m seeing now has her own prison strap, maybe we can do a cold-strapping comparison. That would be interesting.

More thought required. I’ll document this next session also.

Till then – play safe, play happy, play as often as you let yourself.

Welcome to 2021

Happy New Year - Welcome to 2021

New Year Eve 2021

Probably no year in living memory has been as hard for as many people as 2020 has been. But now, almost 2 weeks into 2021, there is some hope for normality to break out again. We have Covid vaccines being rolled out, a new President to contend with and with just a little love, an economy promising to revive to its pre-Covid glory.

With heart felt sincerity – please have a safe, happy and prosperous 2021 no matter who or where you are.

Silent Quivers Goals for 2021

SilentQuivers Website – I don’t see a great change in direction. I’d like to add more stories and more often and to expand in all directions.

A big problem with stories is that I don’t much like the story posting in the blog concept. I’d much rather a dedicated stories page. I am yet to find that solution.

Personally – I can feel myself getting older making me want to make the most of my time. At the same time I feel my precious preconceived ideas causing guilt fading slightly and acceptance of my kink improving.

I want to indulge in more sessions but also to have some changes, some new things, some new ideas added to those sessions. In 2020 I had one session, in 2018 I had 2. In some years prior I had about 10 – I think I can surely have at least a few this year.

I feel I want to work more on acceptance and my sense of self. So often in 2019 and 2020 this struggled in the battle between my kink and vanilla lives.

Stories – I have so many more chapters to come;

Millennial Discipline Contract story is just needing a little cleanup and to fill in some blanks. I do like this story, hitting as it does my significant need for femdom corporal.

Riding Academy really has expanded past the first chapter. There are about 50,000 words just waiting some touch up. Annoyingly, I lost the last chapter- so there were some lessons learned from that.

Cyber Red Wire – (no chapters published yet) is more a full on sex-romance with some fetish and BDSM thrown in than the other way round. This too has grown hugely and for lovers of some action between the sheets, a good read.

Strapubus – I loved this story and I need to add another chapter or two.

Rat Creek Reformatory – I have a 2nd chapter started but nowhere near finished. I loved this concept and want to add at least one chapter in 2021.

Forum  No. It’s not happening. I looked closely at this but the time and effort required were just plain too much. Considering the amount of spam and phishing attempts I get now, adding a forum would comsume far too much time. Plus there has been an underwhelming response to the idea.

So welcome to 2021. Lets all enjoy the year.

Spanking Spanko Fetish

Spanking Fetish - Odd Choice Of Words

I think the terms ‘spanko fetish’ and ‘spanko fetish’ are a little odd. I also think this is 100% my biases talking – and the terms are probably quite relevant (ie good).

Why?

Spanking feels like it is a downgrade of what I indulge in. It sounds like an over the knee “OTK” type punishment where the bare hand is used to spank the bared butt. I’ve had one of these, on my first session, and I found it a bit average. I wanted more. It didn’t push my other fetish points hard enough.

Spanking does work well though. I’ll admit that and absolutely. Bent over the knee and receiving a hard spanking really can be challenging. A hair brush or short paddle, strap, tawse or cane used for a spanking like this would work well also.

I’ll also admit that the contact of my hips and crutch against a mistresses legs as she spanks me hard does have an appeal. That would be a level of intimacy I don’t get in the traditional corporal sessions I have. The thought of leaving some ‘evidence’ of my excitment to be over her knees is also a little exciting along with cringe-embarrassing. I know I’d dribble a bit.

Why do Spanko Fetish / Spanking Fetish terms work?

My take on this, as an older person, is that the words ‘regularize’ or ‘modernize’ the practice.

The words are easily understood and easily related to. They explain themselves.

Spanking?  Sure, that is simple and easy to understand and not greatly challenging. It puts the whole thing in context.

Fetish? That has become almost mundane now, we are far more culturally allowed to have a fetish for things like leather or latex or fast cars. Whatever. Fetish is not that challenging.

Bolt the two together into ‘Spanking Fetish’ and it feels sort of acceptable.

I can feel a sexual element to this also. I can feel that ‘lets have a spanking before sex’ is a kind of hidden agenda in the spanko fetish terms. It does sound a bit exciting!

Respect - Jillian Keenan

Visit her website, and Jillian Keenan deserves respect. Seriously.

She has come out publicly and put her face on her fetish for spanking.

On her youtube channel she has plenty of videos of herself dealing with the whole spanking thing.

Brilliant.

Where Is Corporal Punishment in this?

By contrast ‘Corporal Punishment’ really has a different feeling. It talks to something more severe and less sexual.

Corporal punishment has a different ethic to it – and summons up different emotions. Am I being punished for a mistake or transgression? Is my fantasy to be in a dungeon then punished by the leather clad mistress just becase she can? Is my fantasy to be a slave being punished by the mistress? Or all of them (yes please).

Or at least that is the way of it for me.

Maybe ‘corporal punishment’ is the dictionary definition of being struck in some manner. ‘Spanking Fetish’ regularizes this into an activity that is more play-erotic and less formal or judicial.

The Naughty Hair Dresser

Hairdressers - Like Being in the Confessional

My original hairdresser left, so a new one took her place. She is young, spunky and all out there in the way she chats. She is super easy to chat to, engaging, vibrant – all those things.

Anyway, on my first ever hair cut, we got talking and somehow sex came up in a sort of off-beat way. She’d mentioned for some reason that ‘furries’ where you dress up as forest animals and have sex appealed. She said she had a friend with benefits she visited occaisonally – so she was quite open about it all.

Was she opening up to get me to open up? Was she just totally unhibited? Maybe. It worked.

My BDSM Admission

She was so easy to talk to that I admitted I went and had BDSM sessions, being tied up and corporal punishment.

She asked me a little about it, if sex was involved, what happened, who I saw. All that sort of thing.

I remember feeling absolutely stunned that I’d told her on my first visit, and also that she accepted it so well.

Her Admission

Well, my surprise increased when she said she had a male friend, a friend only, who also had BDSM sessions.

She said he only had a few a year but they were big ones, 3 or 4 hours and highly intense. It sounded like he was into getting full on kicking, punching and slapping and very heavy whipping.

I’m not a big fan of any of that – but never mind.

The thing was, she said she got a call from him one day to ask her to collect him and take him to hospital. He’d broken some ribs and couldn’t drive.

WOW – that was beyond intense (I accidentally cracked a rib in a session – my fault – but nothing like that). It made me wonder at the skill of the mistress, or had there been a terrible accident.

Well, she took him to the hospital, into E.R. – and sat with him for a few hours. As he was being treated she had to leave for a short while when one of the nurses said something like, ‘Don’t worry dear, I do this part time also.’

She had to explain it was not her, he was just a friend in need.

We both smiled at life and the way it can throw curved (kinked?) things at us.

Millennial Discipline Contract – Part-1 – Friday Night

Friday Night Family Discipline

“John, Jenny, it’s time,” called their mother Claire not long after dinner. She’d watched an episode of the serial she liked then re-read their reports.

Friday night was family discipline night when parents reviewed performance and progress for the week, then applied the discipline required for improvement.

The mantra, ‘We must be the best we can be‘ was backed up every Friday night within the family. That their Sunday night meant a visit by their Discipline Supervisor was not forgotten. Getting more on top of a Friday night discipline was something everyone hated and added extra incentive.

Shaking her head. ‘Disappointing. So disappointing,’ she thought. And worrying too.

She’d had a cup of coffee in the kitchen as she considered her next action. This needed to be nipped in the bud but she knew she was late, their behavior and results had dropped badly and now it was on their pages and she would be in trouble too come Sunday night. The Discipline Supervisor would be sure she was paying a price on Sunday night for this for sure.

But she needed to start sometime, and there was no time better than now. Well, last month would have been better, she wouldn’t be in this trouble if she’d done something about it then.

Things had to change and now she was sure her own performance would be judged badly and she knew that would happen on a parenting supervision review. On Sunday night. Two nights away it was going to be her turn.

Both John and Jenny shot down the stairs and into the lounge room where family discipline was dispensed. Not hearing their mother or being slow usually meant she came up the stairs, into their room and that meant an on the spot discipline happened. They knew to pay attention and respond immediately as a pants down laying on the bed strapping really did set their rears on fire.

“John, you got three black marks and Jenny two. Plus your school results have not been good, not good at at all. Plus, this week I’ve down voted you both three times so I think we’ll clear the sheet right now. Arrange the chair John, Jenny fetch the family strap from my room please. You know where it is.”

Jenny turned to fetch the dreaded family strap, but their mother added loudly so she couldn’t miss it, “John, I think your problem is that you’re not focusing enough on your studies and you spend too much time at night with your hands where they shouldn’t be, on the phone and elsewhere I’m sure. I think three days of denial is in order, and Jenny, I think you need the same. Both of you, put your denial restraint belts and cuffs on before bed.”

“Yes mum,” they both said, and neither was going to argue. They’d both argued with their mum over denial time in the past and each time their mum had used the same and simple solution. Arguing with parents always got a black mark on their reports and that caused extras on a Friday discipline night and it was usually more than one set of six.

Complaining or arguing also meant denial time was increased to a week and they were really annoying. For both arguing and complaining they usually got an additional six of the best strapping every night just before bed as well as denial and that was difficult to say the least. They’d be sleeping on their fronts in denial every night for the week with their hands restrained behind their backs and their butts would be on fire from the strapping. They couldn’t rub their butts or move their hands round their fronts to soothe somewhere else if the heat from the strapping made them needy, which it usually did. It was called denial for a good reason.

It was different after a Friday night strapping. They usually had an hour or two before they were put in denial and hence the sting abated slightly. That time, small though it was, made all the difference. When they got extra from complaining just before bed it seemed to sting and be so much hotter and difficult.

The only option they had was best behavior. They knew to do the dishes and clean up so carefully. Any kind of excuse on discipline night just multiplied what they got. Not only that, they got such a telling off that it was demeaning and embarrassing.

But of course it all got posted on their Family Pages for the whole world to see. If they got extra for complaining then their friends saw it and commented at school. Teachers would see it and comment. People down the street they knew, places they worked part time at would all comment about the extras. To say it was demeaning was the understatement of the century.

Fetching The Strap

Jenny exited the lounge room then headed up the stairs, reluctantly.

Each step brought her one step closer to the family strap, each step made it more inevitable. With each step she anticipated holding that strap in her hands.

Holding the family strap had become consuming these last few months. Now she couldn’t resist, standing there holding the family strap, running it through her hands. It was almost impossible not to fondle it. She held the handle in her right hand then ran her left hand slowly down the handle feeling the leather, along the strap, then over the last third of the length with the twin tails that gave it such a bite. She fondled the strap just like her mom did, both of them running it through their hands the same way.

She knew from all her friends that a family strap was normal in houses now. None of her friends didn’t have one at home. The strap usually hung in the parents rooms in their walk in robes or behind a door. She’d heard of some parents who claimed the strap was barbaric but she’d also heard that their children had been ostracized by everyone.

Oh how she wanted a boyfriend right now. Some mornings she woke so needy. The thought of a sleep over and how her boyfriend would be subject to the same discipline she and John were was disquieting. Then the thought of her sleeping over at his house and being subject to discipline there. Now that was even more unsettling. Having to bend and pull down her knickers for the strap or the cane in front of strangers was a strange thought.

She ran the strap through her hands again. Time was getting on but she couldn’t resist standing and feeling the strap.

Yet again, she ran her hand along the leather and out of nowhere wondered what it would feel like to apply it to a bent bottom. She had a momentary image of herself with this in her hand, clenched hard, applying it to John’s bent butt, bringing up a red band that spread and showed the crimson streaks from the twin tails.

She imagined how it would proceed; she’d be extending her arm with the strap at the end and tapping it on Johns butt cheek to get her range. She’s seen her mom do this so many times, and been the recipient more times than she could count. It did serve to focus the attention. She knew the feel of the strap laying on her bent bottom, knew the feel of it flicked in the air then it cracking down in a slightly stinging stroke, a ranging stroke. She imagined doing this, the strap under her control as she watched the leather flicking up then down. This whole thing, this tapping of the bottom in front of her was almost as if the strap made the bottom aware of what was happening, just before lashing it properly, letting the bottom know what was to come.

Running her hand along the leather, she imagined putting it way back behind her, swiveling her shoulders away from the bent naked butt in front of her. Just like he mom did. Then she’d bring her arm around and uncoil her shoulders to make the twin tails swish through the air and land flat on the butt in a ‘splaat’ that cracked and echoed through the house.

Damn. The whole mental image was doing her head in. Then she felt it, a warm tingle between her legs she normally only felt when the lights went out, she was in bed, and her fingers were dancing around her front.

Dammit times infinity. Not that she’d be doing it tonight, her mother was going to put them both in denial for a few nights so no naughty business for them.

“JENNY,” called her mother. “Come down this instant or else.”

She knew what the ‘or else’ meant. Usually a dozen. An extra dozen on top of what she was going to get anyway.

Bend For The Strap

Meanwhile, back in the lounge after Jenny went up the stairs, John turned then got the tall backed chair from the dining room table and put it into the middle of the lounge.

“You first,” his mother said so he dropped his trousers, pushed down his briefs as he stood behind the chair. Bending forward he lifted his long school shirt so it was clear of his bottom, then when he was fully bent over, he reached down and gripped the chair seat.

The cool air on his bottom was ominous. Damn. It was always like this, bent, bared, waiting for Jenny to fetch the strap. Worst of all, for the last two years he’d been having erections in this position while he waited. What was it with baring his butt in preparation for the strap?

Now, every time he bent he found himself hardening up so he always quickly bent to hide it against the chair. A few times his mum had told him to rise half way through his strapping so as to check his state. Luckily every time it had gone down when his butt was stinging madly.

The problem was that it returned when he watched his sister getting the strap. Every damn time the sight of his mum wielding that damned leather strap hardened him up and his mother always caught him with the erection, suggesting another strapping was in order.

He and his mother didn’t have long to wait. Jenny returned with the strap then handed it to his mom. Lifting slightly and looking to his left, he saw his mom hold the strap in both hands and run her hand along the length of the tails, feeling them. She was almost fondling the leather, appreciating it, not that he’d appreciate it the way she was going to use it.

She always did that, and he wondered why. He’d never touched the thing, and quite the opposite, it always touched him right where he didn’t want it to.

“Bend,” said his mom, noticing he’d come up to see Jenny return from upstairs. Then she added, “Properly,” which meant he was bent almost double, his butt sticking up high and proud. And bare. And defenceless.

He bent down again, and again his butt was the highest part of him with the cold evening air on it making him very aware of where he was, but he knew it would be red hot soon enough.

He didn’t have long to wait. From his position all he could see were his mothers feet moving to one side of him and a little back, then something tapped his rear He knew what that was.

Then the strap was lifted and flicked back down so it was a light slap of the leather tails, making him jump. If anything these served to make his erection harder and right now it was rock hard. This repeated. The leather was removed then a moment later there was a slap as the tails were flicked back down. Mom was getting her range, setting up for the strapping.

There was nothing for a few moments then he heard movement. Something indistinct. Like the sound of air over something.

Gunshot loud a ‘craack’ preceded an immense sting right in the middle of his butt.

The first was always the worst.

He hissed, “oohh” then in a few seconds when the sting peaked, “aaahh,” as he clenched his butt cheeks, waggled his hips and shook his legs.

The first half dozen were always the worst he thought. The butt was fresh and tender and unprepared so it reacted strongly to the two tails of their family strap coming down hard.

The second stroke arrived in a handful of seconds, the time taken for his mom to tap his butt once, then put the strap far behind her and wind up.

It landed equally hard and on exactly the same place making his gasp of pain louder, as it should have been. Damn but two in the same spot stung.

All his friends at school had talked about this. All their mom’s had a similar strap and they all used it pretty much the same way. They’d talked about it regularly and the consensus was that there must be some kind of manual or video on how to give a strapping as there was almost no variation. All the moms gave the strokes a few seconds apart, not waiting long, and they all tapped the bared butt then put the strap way back and behind them and wound up for the delivery.

“It’s like a forehand in tennis,” his friend Ralph said. “My mom winds up then blam, she lets me have it right onto the butt time and again. Shit, I get a dozen spread out and it’s hard to sit for a day.”

John had nodded, “Me too, my mom is the same.” All the other boys nodded and agreed. One had added, “My mom straps my thighs if she’s really angry. Had that?”

They all nodded. They’d all had it that way and hated it. For all the obvious reasons.

His mom was clearly annoyed as she usually spread the strokes out over his butt and only came back to the same place if there were going to be a lot of them. This time and two on the same place meant she was cross. Not only that, she was timing the strokes more carefully than she usually did.

His mom usually gave strokes a few seconds apart, requiring just the time it took to put the strap far behind herself then bring it round onto his butt. This time she was delaying a half dozen seconds and he couldn’t help think that it made the strapping worse. After each stroke the sting increased. It increased and increased, then when it peaked his mom slammed the strap down for the next stroke so it really was worse than a normal strapping.

The second ‘craack’ of strap on his butt had lifted his chest up for a moment, his arms struggling to keep him down then as the pain again peaked his “Aaaghhh,” came out stronger.

That was two. He didn’t know how many he was getting but it was seldom less than a dozen. With his report he guessed it might be eighteen and hopefully no more.

The strapping proceeded. The ‘craack’ of the third stroke found a new part of his butt, a little lower and the fourth a dozen seconds later landed on top so now his whole butt felt like a wide band of fire was laying on it.

The fifth was high on the butt, above the others and on a new area also. Then the sixth landed on top of that one and now his whole seat was blazing.

Then his mom stopped. The delay in the strapping was unusual as she usually wanted to get it out of the way and go back to whatever she’d been doing. Not this time.

“John, that’s your first six.” She was speaking sharply. He didn’t like the word ‘first’ as it implied more sets of six. He felt the strap laying in his flaming butt, the weight of the leather just felt in among the stinging heat.

“Here is your second. Hold tight,” she said quietly.

He braced himself expecting the next stroke right in the middle of the butt over the place where the first two strokes had landed. He knew his butt was starting to lose its sensitivity a little, the strapping dulling it slightly. It was a phenomenon he and Jenny were quite used to.

Not only that, his erection was gone now, the heat and sting in his butt had driven that completely out of his mind. All he could feel in his front was, nothing. Nothing at all. His butt was screaming out drowning all other thoughts.

This time the strap landed in the middle of his thighs, right in the middle of the backs of his legs exactly half way between the sit spot and the back of his knees. He’d been strapped there before, many times and dreaded it but was unable to control himself. He shouted out “Yarrr”, shot upward and rubbed his hands over the fierce band of sting, not that it helped much at all. The twin tails of the family strap lashed deep into his thighs resisting any kind of lessening of the sting.

“That one does not count. Bend for the repeat,” his mother said slowly and coldly.

He instantly regretted standing.

It was a rule in the family just the same as for all his friends that if he or his sister rose during a strapping the stroke was repeated. Some of his friends mom’s even added penalty strokes, sometimes one and a few of the mothers made it two. He was thankful his mother didn’t know to add penalties. Three extra was not what he wanted at all.

But his mom did know. “Rise again and it will be two extra as well as the repeat,” she said, “same as what your friends get. I’ve been checking their pages. I’ve been far too lenient with you and Jenny. Jenny, let this be a lesson to you, you will get the full three if you rise.”

“Yes mom,” said Jenny quickly, standing in front of John watching the strapping with real fear. But also she felt something else, something insidious was happening and she couldn’t resist its effects.

Jenny knew it would all too soon be her turn to bend and have that strap lick across her butt and feel the red hot sting again. But that didn’t stop the feelings as she thought about how it would feel to use the strap like her mom was. That was something she couldn’t let go and it was exciting.

For John, as he waited he feared the worst then it arrived. Another stroke right over the top of the last one, doubling the sting in his thighs which he had thought would be impossible. He lifted his chest slightly but kept his grip on the chair seat as he yelled out in pain, “Aaggh,” and then in a few seconds as it seeped into him, “Oh-oh-hooo,” and he remained bent over.

Not long later his mom wound up and strapped him again, and again it was in the same spot. Three in a row and the sting was incredible. “Agghh mom, please,” he gasped. This was far harder than he’d ever had before.

“Far too lenient,” his mom said then the next stroke landed just above the band of flaming sting from the previous three. Well, two with a repeat. This too blazed into him and hurt like hell making him gasp as did the next placed over the same place.

Still bent he hoped like hell this was the last six, but he had two more strokes to go. The next arrived lower, just above the backs of his knees and below the first three strokes. He jumped, he shook his legs and he lifted slightly but remained down and he barely kept the gasps in. The next stroke was over the top and this too just felt impossibly painful.

“That’s better. Take your strokes properly.” Then after a second she added, “We all have to if we want to be the people we should be.” His mom was making an effort tonight, he could almost feel the determination she had in applying the strap. “It would be far better not to earn them in the first place. Maybe they’ll help you with that.”

As he was bent over he felt something cool laying on his bottom. He looked up and around so see his mom had her arm extended so she was resting the strap on his butt. Not a good sign. Then his butt was tapped lightly, the strap lifting up then falling down, then it happened again. She was teasing him almost, the taps getting stronger as she repeated.

“That was your second six, with an extra. Lets see how we go with the third six shall we,” she said quietly, ominously quietly. She sounded determined and more than a little cross.

He didn’t have long to wait. The first stroke scorched over the crown of his butt. Then while he was gasping and shaking his butt, the second landed almost on the same spot but just a little down. He didn’t have long to wait for the third which was lower again. Then the fourth, the fifth and the sixth strokes all landed lower and lower till the sixth had landed on the join between his butt and his legs, right at the top of his thighs. That stung, lifting him up onto his toes and made him shake his legs and butt in the sting.

After this six he was gasping and shaking his hips, trying to get on top of the sting and the heat and he noticed something. His whole butt was an even hot, an even sting, every part of it stung infernally. Mom hadn’t missed a bit of it.

Again he felt the strap laying on his butt. Again he looked back to see his mom poised, arm extended, the strap lifting just a little then fall back with a gentle arm flick.

The delay lingered, then lingered some more as the strap rose then fell just a few inches so he was aware of it. Then, “Those thighs need more,” his mom said quietly.

It was the last place he wanted strapped.

This time and just seconds later the strap streaked around then slammed into the tops of his thighs making him jump and stamp his feet. “Yaaahh,” he gasped with the pain, his thighs and butt both screaming in the red hot intensity of the strapping. He looked back and saw his mom’s feet moving then the next ‘craack’ sounded and again the strap slammed into his thighs just a little way down from the last. He barely kept himself down, barely was able to stop himself from rising in the immense sting from the strapping.

Only the thought of three more strokes of the family strap to his thighs kept him down.

In the pain, in the total immersion of the red hot sting he managed to stay down, just. His mom applied the strap as hard as she could moving the lashes down his thighs till the last one was just above his knees, the whole area a band of red hot sting.

Again there was a delay, and again he hoped that was the last set of six. Again he felt the strap laying on his bottom as his mom looked at her handiwork. “John, that was four sets. If your school ever posts a report like that I’ll double it up.”

That was a hell of a number. His butt would be roasted and he didn’t want to think about his thighs. If he had to wear swimming trunks the bruises would show for days. Lucky he was in long pants then he almost smiled. Not so for Jen, she wore some short skirts and he’d seen other girls with strap marks on their thighs at school, even the girl he fancied like hell had.

The strap rose and fell, a light crack as she strapped him to keep his attention, then another, then another. “I am so tempted to give you more you have no idea. Now stand in front of the char and Jenny can have her turn.” With that the strap rose then cracked down harder making him jump.

As he rose he felt the pain in his butt and thighs increase. She was sure taking a liking to cracking that strap down. Even the light strokes like that last little one were painful.

He stood then went to raise his pants but his mom ran the strap through her hands, flicked it in the air and caught it. “No. Pants down.” So he shuffled till he was standing in front of the chair, intensely aware of his cock and worried it would erect itself despite his best intention. The heat from his strapping wasn’t helping. At the moment it was all sting and some heat. In a few minutes the heat in his front would ramp up and he just knew he’d get a stiffie.

With every movement he took and even when he was standing still he felt his butt and thighs scream out their anguish from the strapping. No part of them wasn’t red hot and stinging.

But his cock was starting to twitch as Jenny moved forward. Dammit, it was impossible to control the damned thing he thought. Why did he get that feeling when it was his sister? There was something vastly wrong about that. Then and even worse, how would it be if it was his girlfriend in this position? She shuddered to think, then the thought of her staying over made him think thoughts that just made it all the more difficult to keep his cock under control. Damn and triple damn.

— Continued in Part-2

Forum – thinking it through

The Silent Quivers Forum - Thoughts

I’m toying with adding a forum. A simple WP plugin.

** Please use the contact form if you are interested!!!!!

Why Add A Forum?

I’m thinking of it as a safe space to come to terms with any issues, to talk and think things through and discuss with like minded people.

Do you have an issue? Bring it here in privacy and safety to get feedback.

Why Not Add A Forum?

Spam, trolls, time taken, abuse, phishing, grooming, rudeness, revenge – are things that really don’t belong here. They won’t be tolerated. How much of this rubbish would I get? Can I get helpers to ease the load?

Sarcasm is something I frown on. If you can’t express yourself properly then join the club. Have a go. Sarcastic responses will get what they deserve – the bin of shame.

Ridicule is the big brother of sarcasm Expect to be banned.

Maybe the forum won’t get any users. Hey – that would make it easy – just turn it off.

What Benefits?

  • Make contact
  • Seek acceptance
  • Listen to other stories and life experiences
  • Buy and sell

What Rules?

  • Inclusive
  • Politeness
  • Privacy
  • No rudeness
  • No snuff/underage/harmful content
  • No ads / spam / trolls

I think that summ sit up – please let me know any thoughts.