Communication And BDSM
One mistress said her pet hate was a client saying “just do what you think I want” – or similar. She said it put so much stress on her and made her worry far too much about what she was doing.
Thinking about it, that is a crazy thing to say. BDSM has an absolutely huge range of options. The chance of getting what you want by not communicating is about nil.
Same for knowing what you want, but as thr Stones said ‘you can’t always know what you want.‘
Conclusion
A funny place to put a conclusion – but here it is.
Do your homework first. Try to work out what works for you. Leave options open. Try for a rapport with the mistress so she will sense if something is not working.
To get a great session requires great communication with a mistress. My sessions needs are ‘basic and core business’ for mistresses but there are things I like and don’t. These must be spelled out.
The precise words you use are also super important. The mistress will listen and use these in crafting your session.
Example. I remember one mistress in the pre-session discussion saying “I’ll give you a good beating” – which was wrong. I had to correct her, “sorry mistress. A good belting, a good strapping and a thorough tawsing then caning please.” For me ‘beating’ is not the word to use. Same as ‘hit’ – nope, wrong words, wrong connotations.
Planning ahead is essential particularly if you are (like me) nervous. If you are a lists person, then a short bullet point list will go a long way to having a great session.
I Remember My First Session
I’ve been writing my biography and in that I documented my first session and my reaction to it. I took notes at the time and also, I do remember this session very well.
For this first session, I had spoken to the mistress on the phone and outlined what my BDSM was for me. I talked very briefly, in stumbling phrases about it and that was pretty confronting for me.
Then when we eventually met for the session she asked a few questions then the session happend.
Well in hindsight I was pretty ignorant. There is no doubt. I asked for some things which happened (great) but the mistress did things that took me so far past that. That was confronting at the time but she was correct.
I count myself lucky that I’d chosen an excellent mistress and she was able to read my responses and creat a session that worked so well.
I hadn’t given her much to work with.
Choosing A Professional Matters
In my session I was lucky I chose a mistress who was super experienced and liked the bondage and corporal that I did. She’d taken a number of newbies before and she tried things out with me,
I do not remember anything she did that didn’t work well. However I do remember thinking she’d done a lot more than I imagined.
So doing some research before a session would seem like a good idea.