Trust Is Core In BDSM
After so many years in BDSM, today I was reading about Trust in BDSM. It made me think about my sessions and the relationship between me and mistress. Trust is something I have taken for granted till now.
Here is a definition of trust; I am naked, my wrists cuffed and pulled above my head in suspension. Straps bind my legs and I’m tightly gagged. I can’t escape, I can’t make a sound. I can’t change the outcome. I have placed my body and my soul in the hands of mistress to do with as she wishes.
Then Mistress does as she wishes; Mistress picks up a prison strap. It is a replica of what was once used to beat prisoners in Canadian prisons. It is one of the more truly formidable instruments of punishment. She takes her time. She runs the strap through her hands as she savours the moment before she uses it. And then she does. I must take what she gives.
In session, it is all about trust. The sub, the slave, is given body and soul to the mistress, to the dom. The whole session is based on trust, empathy, and a connection between the players.
Mistress takes the prison strap then disciplines her slave just as she knows he needs it. Hard.
Slave places his self in her care, for her to deliver the punishment he craves.
Almost designed to test trust
Trust enables all players – trust is core.
Truth in admitting our needs, in defining play, is all based on trust. Trust lets the players move forward to achieve their goals.
BDSM is based on trust.
Heavy Corporal and BDSM Is Not Abuse
Heavy corporal punishment and bondage is the focus in my sessions. But this applies equally to other kinds of play.
The session leaves the slave in an altered state of euphoria. There can be many reasons a person seeks this out and operating at different levels. But the key feature is that the slave, the sub, seeks this out. Abuse is not a factor.
Always, the slave will work with the mistress, the dom, to define what is to happen. There will be some form of a script that will be followed to give the slave what is needed. This is called safe, sane, concensual play.
Even in Extension or No Limits sessions the mistress will always use judgement. When to stop will always be the most important consideration.
Same if the slave is needing a Judicial session which is designed to punish and push the limits without the slave being able to change the course of the session.
Any respectable and experienced mistress or dom will take into account how the slave is faring. For challenging sessions, this will not going to be the first such interaction – there will be experience between the participants on which to base how the session proceeds.
These are all reason I use pro-Dom mistresses in established premises. I know I can trust them, I place myself in their care.
What About Other Kinds Of Play
I dont have experience with them. I talk about what I have done, experienced, and have feelings for.
However, the whole Trust Dynamic will be happening. In traditional dom/sub play the sub will trust the dom to take care of them. To observers it may be tough love – punishments, restraints – positions and situations designed to test the sub. But that is the play.
Some forms of bondage are also based on a great deal of trust. Vac-beds which confine and restrict the vitim extremely heavily are another example. The players will have a trust relationship in play.
How Is It For You? Does this ring true when you think about it?