I’m sorry I sound like I’m harping on about this topic, but you see, it has been such a problem to me over the years that I can’t do anything else.
I’ll try to tone down the angst-index after this post.
Being Age-ist.
I think that people of my (advanced) vintage feel the BDSM stigma far more than the younger set. I’m sure of it. I have been to a few play parties, a few years ago, and the much younger people there were vastly more comfortable with the whole dynamic than me.
I remember commenting to one young man in his late twenties that his generation looked vastly more honest. He was surprised at this. I said it was self honesty in that they looked to embrace their inner feelings better and also honesty with others in discussions. Both these things have been issues for me. He was surprised as it came from someone old enough to be his father, and that I actually said it.
That is a thing. The younger generation, in their twenties, thirties, and maybe early forties are vastly more accepting. They probably don’t understand my issues as it is foreign to them and their perceptions. My comment would be ‘how lucky you are.’
Time Has Helped
It has, isn’t that obvious. Sorry. Take it from someone who has been a keen observer of trends in this area, it is absolutely true that the whole BDSM thing has changed dramatically in the last two decades.
No longer is it an utterly taboo and a perverted topic. No longer is it seen as a mental illnes. it has become something that is almost accepted. Or, maybe seen as an alternative type pass time, a little odd maybe.
Just recently in the local newspaper it was mentioned that a woman was into bondage. Publishing that and some broad details was just such a difference to my earlier years. Then it would have been reported as at best being ‘alternative’ or more likely perverted.
The Fifty Shades Thing
I haven’t read the books, though I have skimmed a few pages. While the topic is pretty much on trend for BDSM, and we have a millionaire etc in the mix making it totally unrepresentative of most BDSM play, it has huge relevance. It has brought the whole thing out of the closet. It has helped me.
I’ve seen the Fifty Shades being criticised as being hugely unrealistic, stupid, strange, poorly written etc. I don’t care. It has given some legitemacy to the whole BDSM community. My feeling is that if it’s not being spoken of in a bad light, that’s all to the better.
Yes. Overall. I think it has brought BDSM into a mainstream acceptance. It has done a lot of good for the genre.
Now someone can say ‘spanking’ and ‘bondage’ then the whole Fifty Shades thing is suddenly brought into focus and a default acceptability results.
All of a sudden mums and dads can get a feeling that it’s not that bad because they made a movie for general release out of it. And on the basis of this the Fifty Shades topics and play have become a staple of other TV and movie shows.
The Biggest Change
For me and it is obvious from the above, the biggest change has been the better acceptance of BDSM as a socially accepted pass time.
Now it is seen as just maybe a little odd, a little kinky, maybe a little out there and that’s about it. Suddenly we are not perverts or worse.
Now people are able to admit to it and not feel traumatised and worry about perceptions. There is a stable-base to point to (the Fifty Shades thing).
Now also the internet is so much more available to all. It has so much more information and the people providing it are vastly more open minded. Society is changing, hopefully for the better.
What do you think? What has been your experience?