Next BDSM Session Angst

It's Been Far Too Long

Soon after my last session I wanted another.

Then after 2 months I was deeply wanting my next session.

Now as the weeks crawled past that desire rises and falls but generally rises more than it falls. The allure of the leather mistress putting me in bondage and giving me corporal punishment in the BDSM dungeon only increases with time.

It doesn’t matter how severe the corporal is, how marked up I am, or how long the bruises take to go away, I want it again. And I want more.

One thing that consumes me is that the last session was so good, and how could I make the next session even better.

It feels silly saying that as you can only be tied up and given heavy corporal so many ways. But options do exist!

The Allure Of The New

Since I’ve been having similar sessions for 15+ years, finding points of difference, finding elements to make a session unique is not easy.

But still the idea of new things brings its own special excitement.

A year or so ago I had a training session with an apprentice to show her amd give her a chance to apply heavy corporal and that was sort of OK. It wasn’t as heavy as I wanted and in interacting with the apprentice it pulled me back from sub-space but it was overall a good once-off type of session. In fact, interacting with someone else in the session felt very good at an acceptance level, that I could be there and doing that and yet it was all fine and they wanted to make sure it was good for me. That’s a privilege I don’t take lightly.

But now I’m wanting another session. More and more.

Something Special For Mistress

On a whim, and because she really is very lovely, I had a strap custom made as a present for the mistress I see.

It is a copy of the off-billet strap I’ve had for a few years. I phoned around and could not find a leather one anywhere so I had to get it made by copying mine. In these modern times nylon has become much more the norm for this piece of saddlery. Where is the kink, the fetish in nylon? Nope, none in there at all!

The off-billet strap is two inches across and eighteen inches long when folded over (so it is three feet long) and is made of very heavy leather. Every mistress who has used it has commented at what a lovely piece of leather it is. It almost aches to be picked up and run through the hands. And for the leather lover, its scent is rather nice.

The off-billet strap is one of the more painful implements I have and it does work so very well for corporal. In fact, when given hard the difference from the prison strap is not that great.

Some time ago I had one of these made for a previous mistress who has since left the scene. I asked her if she’d had a chance to use it, some sessions later. She said she had and her client had squealed, and she liked that. She said it with a smile and gleaming eyes.

She was a tall powerful mistress, somewhat Amazonian and did love the whole corporal thing. Hence my present of this strap. She was the mistress who after my first session with her had some muscle pain the next day, so she got a personal trainer at the gym to target those muscles for development.

The image of her in a tight leather catsuit pulled down to the waist, wearing a black bra and using that off-billet strap is not something I’ll forget. That thought lingers….

The Contradiction Flares

Looking at it, holding that strap, I feel like suggesting it can be used in two ways; doubled over as is, or remove the retaining thong and use it ‘singled’ like the end of a belt to make it less thuddy and more stinging.

The leather is so very thick, it would be effective when used as a single length, more so than for most belts. It could be wrapped round the fist, again like a belt to get the length just right, for the end to be used for a strapping.

Doesn’t that sound strange? I’m suggesting the best way to be punished, to be strapped.

I had something quite severe made as a gift for a dominatrix to use to beat me with, and have thought about how it can best be used and the types of pain it will bring. But it’s true. It is a lovely piece of leather I hope will be appreciated.

And this is the contradiction.

For me the association of pain with BDSM, about the session and the dominatrix is not as per most people’s perceptions. For me it is a small part. I don’t feel shame, or anxiety, or revulsion or regret. It is just something to be dealt with in the total context of the session.

But I feel the utter strangeness of it all.

The more I think about the pain of corporal punishment the less certain I am about what it is that draws me back.

It is pretty much the ultimate contradiction for people to try to understand.

Taking Corporal Further

Another option I find hard to resist is asking for a cold caning and or a cold prison strapping. Again and a first with this mistress. I think she would do it very well and I seem to remember she mentioned it once.

Should I have both the cold caning and the prison strapping? Or just one of them?

And if both, which one to have first? And since Mistress has her own Canadian Prison Strap, and I have one, should she use both, and in what order? Should she maybe give me six of the very best of the cane, then six of the best with one prison strap, then the same again with other? Then repeat? That has an appeal. It has a recurring appeal.

Then after this, what? Maybe revert to the traditional belting and strapping we have? That sounds about right.

Oh. For those not in the know, a ‘cold’ type corporal punishment session is when corporal punishment of the more severe type happens first, before a warm up with less severe implements.

The effect of this is that it’s felt deeper without the warm, up. It cuts deeper. It is more punishing.

A warm up heats the skin so it can accept more discipline and also desensitizes the skin as well so heavy discipline after is more easily accepted.

The warm up gets you used to the corporal gradually.

So in the absence of a warm up a ‘cold’ type session is much more severe, coming close to the even more severe ‘Judicial’ type of corporal punishment which has its own (scary) appeal to me.

My Last Cold Prison Strapping and Caning

Cold prison strapping and caning sessions are super challenging.

I know, I remember them well.

Do I ever. They were a few years prior from an energetic mistress so I remember it rather well.

The session started off with my wrists strapped into leather cuffs, attached to a suspension bar so I was standing tall and I was gagged. My legs had plenty of straps wrapping them in bondage so I couldn’t move them.

I was an excellent target. I had no choice in the matter. It was happening.

Getting a caning and a strapping like this, in bondage and particularly with the legs bound  means you can’t move. If the legs aren’t bound then the natural tendancy is to lift then, to shift, to dance and kick from side to side as the pain kicks in. I find having them bound adds nicely to the whole experience.

Bondage adds a kind of submission to the whole experience. The more the better. It makes me accept it better. It pushes me deeper.

Then the mistress took up the Canadian Prison Strap, stood behind and to one side of me holding it between her hands ready to use. She was ready. It was going to happen. I can promise that the sight of a leather dominatrix with a huge prison strap in her hands, with me presented in bondage and gagged, is a very special experience.

Just looking at the tableau in the mirror says it all. My goodness, I wish I had a photo!

Oh dear. Writing that and thinking about it makes it all the more desirable.

Then it happens.

When the strapping starts, or the caning, the first stroke hits like lightning. The bum is totally fresh, white and unblemished, not yet christened by any leather. The first pain is the greatest. It is new and consuming.

My eyes close to slits, I stand on tip toe, I tense up, and my head goes back, the gag fills my mouth and I feel its presence, silencing the shout.

I remember reading erotic fiction that said the un-caned bottom was a clean parchment for the mistress to make her mark on.

Anyway, that first stroke feeling is a mix between deep burn and a crashing stinging thud against the butt. The strength of the impact pushes me forward, pulling me forcibly out of the here and now and fixating me on the pain and the experience.

Then the delay is spell binding. I’m trying to surmount the sting, trying to accept and get on top of it, then the corporal-ballet behind me repeats as the next stroke cracks down and so it follows. Inexorably, the strokes follow one another, sending me deeper into sub space, filling me, removing me from the here and how.

Being able to take this level of heavy corporal is both scary and exciting in all the typically contradictory ways.

Being made to take it is even more of the same.

I remember one German mistress I had taking significant delight in giving me a cold prison strapping. She didn’t mind that at all. I don’t think it was from a pure sadism or an anger perspective, I think she just enjoyed the activity and doing it with someone who was accepting and embracing.

The whole corporal punishment thing is a shared activity, the mistress and her client together making it work. Yes it seems strange but at the end of the day it is something that is wanted at so many different levels.

A Session With A Visitor

I’m giving this some thought. I suspect I have a touch of an exhibitionist streak.

The training session I had with an apprentice mistress was mildly successful, but not great. I enjoyed it, it was new and different and those things are always good.

But I’m now thinking about if I should, or can, invite a new apprentice into the session to view heavy corporal as I take it. It is not a training session, it is a demonstration session. She can participate if she wants to, or not.

That has some appeal.

The One Decision That Matters

When will my next session be? That is the real question.

I want it soon. I want it now. I want it sooner than now.

So many decisions!

Since my last session blog post was so successful, I’ll document my next also. From the above, I’ll have a lot to write about.

Play safe, play happy, play hard.