Choosing A Pro Dom Mistress

You are here:
← All Topics

Getting What You Want Can Be Difficult

This is so subjective it is difficult to lay out golden rules that will guide you though this process. Choosing a mistress who will give you a BDSM session that suits your needs and meets your goals can be difficult.

So How Do I Do It?

I’ve changed mistresses after one session, after a dozen sessions and for many reasons. Perhaps 3 years is the longest I’ve seen a mistress, and a single session the shortest. Some have moved away, some left the industry and a few really weren’t for me. Some I didn’t feel a connection with. I am absolutely sure that most of these were because I either chose poorly or there was some fundamental disconnect between the mistress and me (we didn’t click).

Here are some absolute truths

Vanity and human nature make can make advertising less than accurate. Some mistresses use photos that show them in the absolute best light. that’s only natural. I find the photos are best used as an indication only. You MUST carefully read the bio and list of things they do.

Mistresses are people just like you and me. Mistresses are often classified as sex-workers and sex workers often carry a stigma that leads to clients treating them poorly. I have read articles by mistresses talking about the filthy attitude some clients have. Think about it – you are contacting someone who can make your BDSM fantasy a reality and you treat them poorly? That is both incredibly stupid and also fundamentally rude.

Mistresses aren’t mind readers. I truly wish they were because I have been in-session and wished the mistress was doing or not doing something. Often the mistress will be highly attuned to how her client is faring. ‘Is this working’ might be going through her head. Or, ‘is this strap getting through to him, should I use the cane now’ and all the infinite varieties of thoughts. So BEFORE you start the session, the negotiation phase is vital. The best sessions have the best negotiation phase before hand.

In my experience Mistress work hard to understand you and make the session work. With so many years of experience and with twenty (or more) mistresses, I can guarantee that most of them really do work hard. They want you to come back as this is how they earn money.

No Mistress does everything. When you are looking to have a pro dom BDSM Session you use the internet and read bio’s, what they do, what they like etc. Be super careful here – if what you want is not mentioned, then it is likely not available with this mistress. Assuming it is will be just about guaranteed to be wrong. Sex is a classic example. Most don’t offer sex, and assuming a mistress does will lead to disappointment.

There is no guarantee the mistress you choose is going to live up to expectation. Like I said, mistresses are real people. They do things their own way. Your idea of a particular activity may be nothing like the idea that a mistress has. Remember, she will be hugely experienced and in her mind ‘it is always done like this’ and for you, your own ideas may be different. Again, the negotiation phase is critical.

The First Step Is Self Honesty. Just knowing what you want and being honest about it can be a huge step to take. Admitting your deepest desires then moving that into reality takes courage. When you can honestly acknowledge what you want, finding the mistress that will bring this to life is made a whole lot easier.