Peace - Happiness - Love

Living Life In Disharmony

Living my life as I did with the inner secrets I held was difficult.
It still is at times. At times my special need rises from the deep to consume and confound me.
No matter what I say or do, I still have that secret passion, those silent quivers that cannot be denied.
Now life is different. I have found peace within myself.

Our Upbringing Is Our Lens On Life

In my day BDSM did not exist in any form other than behind tightly closed doors. Now life is different.
I carried the stigma of needing BDSM for decades around inside me. Now life is different.
Now we have resources at so many levels to free us from the chains of history.

Living Life In Harmony

Truly, life is good when at peace.

The first step, as I have said before, is acceptance.

The next step is to look in the mirror and affirm that I am a warm loving human being and that my special needs do not make me less or bad.

You choose the words, you make the peace happen inside yourself.

Graceful Acceptance

Take life, accept it’s gifts and live.

Achieving Your Goals

Over the years I’ve collected some sayings, some thought processes, some ideals that I believe form the basis for achieving goals.

While this is a BDSM centric wensite, there is no reason why these points cannot apply.

Define Your Goals. Unless you know what you want as a goal, you’ll never achieve it. If you don’t have a target, how can you hit it.

Persevere, believe In Yourself. Self confidence is the key to achievement, and that will make you keep trying even in the face of failure. Try again, hit it harder, regroup and try again.

Unless you try, unless you are there for success, it will never hit you.

Be Honest. In all things in your life, self honesty is the only way forward. Make your goals real, based on a real evaluation of your situation.

Work. Nothing comes for free that is long lasting and vaulable. Your goals define your future life, not working toward them is silly.

Good Luck Does Not Follow Fools. This is a saying I saw elsewhere – and it is massively true. Plan, work, refine, define, accept, push and your goals really can come true more often than you would believe.

Above all else, put yourself in the way of good luck. Be the one who is hit by lucky circumstance. Be the one who can fail at something but the failure builds growth and leads to a success.

Reinforce succes, accept and understand failure. From an engineering point of view, knowing what fails is valuable as it allows designing a more robust and reliable process. It is exactly the same in achieveing your goals, accept when something goes wrong as early as possible then take steps to not repeat, fine tune your processes and move forward.

Use Small Pieces Of Time Wisely. I saw this attributed to a millionaire who said he was very aware that using time wisely is where success lies. He used every minute wisely.

My Story - My Wins - My Losses

Growing as I did, when I did, I had both many advantages and disadvantages. My parents knew nothing of the inner secret quivers that I speak of here, nor did they have any idea of how my professional life would unfold. But they were loving and supportive and for that I was blessed.

I have had some big wins. Early in my professional life I made decisions that were based on knowledge, estimates of the future and I tried to make things happen. I pushed, and broadcasted, and suddenly I had a measure of success.

You see, my wife and I had defined a goal. We had a vision that we worked toward and we had a timeline.

It would be easy to say we were lucky and at times I think that, but I strongly reject the luck concept. We put ourselves in the way of success – we made it hit us. We worked hard, we worked two jobs, we spent every spare minute working toward our goals.

We had some big failures. The thing is though, we don’t let it hold us back in the future. We move around them, we continue, we regroup and understand then try again. That is on the professional side.

On the personal side my failures have been more problematic as they sit deep within me and focus on these secret quivers I have. They all stem from;

  • Lack of self confidence. I did not believe I could do anything about my special needs, that I would never be accepted, that it was all too hard and scary.
  • Lack of acceptance within myself. I convinced myself I was less than I am for having these needs.
  • Not admitting to my needs. I was not honest with myself for so many years, I denied, bottled it up and did everything possible to ignore it.
  • Not undertanding I am allowed to have relief and pleasure in my life.
  • Not understanding that my needs are not unique, that others have them, that there is a supportive community with plenty of information out there just waiting for me to find it.

Please. Remember the words. ‘Be at pease with yourself’ – I wish you well in your journey.